A totally honest thread...from long long ago

[rayray]

Please continue!!!

[FSUZeta]

what fun!! thanks for sharing with us.

[tld221]

man, even im interested. keep it coming!

[ellebud]

Second part of the First Round:

First let me say that there are some chapters that I don't remember exactly what happened. This is not to say that I didn't have fun, or appreciate their time and effort, but that over time they all kind of blended. There were no AHA! moments that really stick out to this day.

But moving on: The second party of the day was at a house that was struggling. (I know that they left shortly after my rush.) The thing that stood out, to this day was that the girls looked defeated. And at a time when we all wore long, hopefully, swinging hair, they still teased (or ratted) their hair into beehive like 50s era hairdos. They were nice, but they had an air of failure.

Two other houses went and gone and then I went to a house that was considered "popular". I was paired with this absolutely adorable girl who mentioned that she was in fact a "Sweetheart of Sigma Chi." I had heard the song, from the 20s or 30s (?) and I thought that that was cool. The rushees were served coke in small bottles with straws. The girl I was with asked for, no begged for, a coke from one of her sisters. Five minutes later she started that dry raspy cough. I took the straw out of my soda, handed her my drink and said, "Share?" After some hesitation, she took it and drank. We left on excellent terms.

The last house was different. A few in my group were muttering that this could be a waste of time (something they didn't say about the moribund house by the way). The door to the house opened, the Rush Chairman (chairperson...chairwoman?) came out and said, "Won't you join us?" And we went inside. I knew one of the girls from high school, not well...But the girls were warm and welcoming.

Second round:

Ms. Chicago, as I will call her, knew her stuff. She knew what to say where and why. We started to talk and she gave me her list of favorites. The last house was a waste of time. Why? She calmly answered, "It's a JEWISH house." aha..................Then she looked at me with a lightening bolt of insight. "Are you JEWISH?" yes..........Ms. Chicago remained diplomatic. She said something like....you'll see...and went off to make more and new friends.

Invitations to second round: I received 4 invitations out of a possible 8. I was surprised. But what surprised me most was that my new best friend's house wasn't there. At that house you only spoke with one active so it wasn't like the other girl(s) could have hated me. I wasn't happy. I though that I had met the most false human being on this earth. The house that I had a rec to also dropped me. The invitations that I received were to: one house that I truly don't remember, the house that was going out of business, the soda sharing house, and the laid back house.

[SydneyK]

Don't make us wait a whole day again before you post the next installment... please!!!

[icicle22]

Originally Posted by ellebud

I was paired with this absolutely adorable girl who mentioned that she was in fact a "Sweetheart of Sigma Chi." I had heard the song, from the 20s or 30s (?) and I thought that that was cool. The rushees were served coke in small bottles with straws. The girl I was with asked for, no begged for, a coke from one of her sisters. Five minutes later she started that dry raspy cough. I took the straw out of my soda, handed her my drink and said, "Share?" After some hesitation, she took it and drank. We left on excellent terms.

Reminds me of that novel The Bell Jar. The whole "Sweetheart of Sigma Chi" thing, not the Coke thing.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by ellebud

Two other houses went and gone and then I went to a house that was considered "popular". I was paired with this absolutely adorable girl who mentioned that she was in fact a "Sweetheart of Sigma Chi." I had heard the song, from the 20s or 30s (?) and I thought that that was cool. The rushees were served coke in small bottles with straws. The girl I was with asked for, no begged for, a coke from one of her sisters. Five minutes later she started that dry raspy cough. I took the straw out of my soda, handed her my drink and said, "Share?" After some hesitation, she took it and drank. We left on excellent terms.

.

I thought you were going to sing, "I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony...."

[ellebud]

Benzgirl...no I wasn't that quick. I wish that I was. However...the second round came and went. I can honestly say that I was a bit reticent. The Jewish thing was unnerving. I really hadn't heard that sort of prejudice in a long time. Again, honestly, I probably wasn't a shining star second round. I liked the laid back house, but were they too laid back? The popular house....I saw the girl that I met first round and that was nice. The nameless house was just that. And as for the last house....when you stare at a flower arrangement and talk about it...for 5 minutes...you know that it just isn't happening.

After second round I went to talk to my rush counselor. It was a brief meeting. I asked her what was the deal? Why had Ms. Chicago said what she did...and...My rush counselor looked at me and said...(no quotation marks here because I am paraphrasing...35 years is a long time ago)...Remember everyone is looking for a house where actives and pledges are COMFORTABLE together. What is your comfort zone? And what is theirs?

And...again, because times were very different...lots of girls went to college then to meet their husbands...she added that I should think very hard about the man I would wish to marry. What did I want from a partner and what was importent to me? (Please read between her lines.)

Invitations came out for third round. In the waiting area I met some other girls, all Jewish. They had, by and large the same outcome that I had. One girl, blond and blue eyes said that she would never join a Jewish house. (She didn't. But she dated and married a very Jewish guy. I have seen her over the years. We aren't friends but are nodding acquaintances.)

The other girls had the same experience that I did. The Actives were pleasant and then...nothing.

Third round invites: I received one. Most of us (now we were an "us" I guess) received one. A few of us received two. Ms. Chicago was crying. She was dropped by the top four houses. I felt terrible for her. Ms. Chicago, in the bravado of an 18 year old dropped out of rush. She told me that she would never pledge a "loser" house. So many questions/comments popped into my head but silence is sometimes a good thing. I thought that I might as well see this through, even though I wasn't sure how much I could relate to the laid back house.

What Not To Do During a Rush Party: I was placed with two Actives and one other rushee. It was obvious to me that we were both being scrutinized very carefully. (I later learned that if you were down to one party prior to Pref that if the house wasn't willing to bid you, they had to cut you before Pref to spare your feelings. Evidently there had been some girls in prior years who opened an empty envelope. To quote my daughters, "harsh."). I am middle of the road politically so (yes, don't panic...politics...stay out of this area...please) and the other rushee was from a mega farm. Somehow the subject came up, not from me, about the Bracero (migrant worker program). This girl said that she didn't understand why there was such a big fuss about those people. They made good money while working for her father and why did they have so many children anyway? I don't know why I did it. I opened my mouth and said and how many weeks a year do they work for your father? Two...three? The silence was deafening.

Do not do this. Do not. As the words came out of my mouth I knew I was done.

Except the Actives were the most politically liberal girls on the row. They were thrilled. This time I got a pass. Sometimes inserting both feet in your mouth isn't so bad. At least I was memorable.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by ellebud

I don't know why I did it. I opened my mouth and said and how many weeks a year do they work for your father? Two...three? The silence was deafening.

Originally Posted by ellebud

Sometimes inserting both feet in your mouth isn't so bad. At least I was memorable.

This is cracking me up! Wow, ellebud, this has got to be one of the best rush threads I've ever read.

Thanks so much for sharing this!!!

[Benzgirl]

Good Reading!

[KSUViolet06]

This is probably the most interesting rush thread I've read in a long time. It's not snarky, but honest in a way that most adults can appreciate. Not to mention I have no idea what rush was like back then and I'm finding the whole religious affiliation aspect of it very interesting.

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by ellebud

This girl said that she didn't understand why there was such a big fuss about those people. They made good money while working for her father and why did they have so many children anyway? I don't know why I did it. I opened my mouth and said and how many weeks a year do they work for your father? Two...three?

I don't get it....will someone explain it to me?

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

I don't get it....will someone explain it to me?

Migrant Workers. They typically help with the harvest on one farm, then move on to another once their work is done.

[ellebud]

Pref and beyond:

So, you all have guess that I received an invitation to Pref at the laid back house. As my Rush Counselor handed me my invitation she gave me a meaningful look. I really didn't know that if I went that night I would get a bid so I was really stressed and did what all girls do from the beginning of time until now: Find other girls and get ready together.

I got together with several of the other Jewish girls. While we were excited Rush was an eye opening experience for some of us...and a painful reminder of other anti-semetic times in our lives. (See I said the words...). The anti-semitism was blatent, it was couched in the guise of "Where will all of us be the most COMFORTABLE?" And sometimes it is uncomfortable dealing with someone a bit different. On the other hand, we Jewish girls began talking and the question arose: If we don't try and change the system...who will? Does it need to be changed? (all this while applying eye shadow...). For all but 2 of us this was a moot point. We carried one house to Pref.

Pref was beautiful and meaningful. I knew that joining the laidback house was right for me. The one aforementioned Jewish girl was the first to break and joined a Christian house. My two friends who preffed two houses suicided and became my pledge sisters.

Loose ends:

So, the question becomes: What happened to the house where I had a rec? And what happened to my instant best friend who passed on me first round?

The first question is easy to answer: My cousin told me after rush that her chapter was the first to pledge a Jewish girl. And at the national level they received a lot of grief for that. (She is a good deal older than I am. She pledged around 1965). My cousin knew that I wouldn't get past the first round. The chapter at my school was old line. Okay then....

I saw Ms. Chicago's dress hanging on the door of her dorm room. It was gorgeous, and unused.

As for my new and instant and very temporary best friend? Right after rush I saw her on campus. She came up to me and asked if she could talk. We sat for an hour and her first words were, "I am a sophomore. This was my first rush and it might be my last. You see, despite my name and where I live....I am a Jew. I didn't know that my house didn't accept Jews until your name came up. I am so sorry. They wouldn't give you a chance." She discussed deactivating. (She didn't.) Her parents were devastated. (Her father wasn't born Jewish. He converted, very unusual for that time and place. But her mother was Jewish. And she was raised a Jew.) I listened. Finally I asked what the penalty would be if she told her sisters that she was Jewish. Would she be thrown out? She didn't answer. I still don't know the answer to that.

We saw each other on campus occasionally. But we never became friends.

The good news for me is and was I did find the best place for me. And all these years later I am glad I how things turned out for me. And I am really glad that my daughter, if she decides to rush, will have more choices but I hope the she has the same conclusion that she found the right place for her.

Oh and my rush counselor? She became my Big Sister...go figure.

[barnard1897]

Fascinating! Terribly sad about the prejudice, of course. I know it's the way things were, and that on some campuses, the lines are more subtle today but still stick around. Just sad, sad, sad.

I am so appreciative of the many different religions represented in my chapter. There was so much diversity. One of the women I greatly looked up to was half Japanese and also Jewish.

BTW, I don't think I could have restrained myself from responding to that migrant worker comment, either!