Who here knows what it's like to go without?

[Gina1201]

This all brings back memories. Too often I remember the phone being off, the cable being out, having to call my grandparents to see if they could feed us for the night. This all began after my mother was hit by a drunk driver when I was 4. The effects of that day still linger for my family. Because of the accident, my mother could no longer work. She had to have two surgeries due to the ruptured disks in her back. Due to that my mother only recieved money at the beginning of the month (SSI) and the end (disability). Times were always good for about a week. But after the bills get paid times would be hard for the remaining three weeks. Especially since my mother had her own demons to deal with.

The only thing that held me through this rough period, which lasted from the age of 4 to 16 were my grandparents and my uncle. They were always their for me. In fact, my grandmother placed me in catholic school from kindergarten to sixth grade and then I received a scholarship to go to private school from seventh to twelth. Imagine what it's like to attend school with tons of rich kids who never know what it's like to be without while you go home and eat 5 wings for $1 from the corner store.

I pray and hope that if and when I do have children they will never have to go through what I went through.

[BlueReign]

What a wonderful thread for us to share!

I remember my so called friends hurting my feelings too many times during middle school/high school. I was the only one in our crowd on free or reduced lunch. At that time we used to get a roll of a month's worth of tickets. If there was no school or I was absent, I could use that ticket on another day and possibly get more than 1 lunch by going through a different line. So, one day we were planning to skip out and go to her house for lunch. She noticed me putting the ticket back in my pocket and she commented, "we don't accept food stamps at my house. sorry, couldn't resist" or something like that. She had no idea how much that hurt.

I also remember many times putting together my little outfits to not appear to be wearing the same thing. It didn't work cause another friend would talk about me to my face. I remember being asked "what you gon wear tomorrow?" And don't let me wear anything really nice or new. She continued to talk about how "shocked" she was to see me in that.

This whole "clothes" thing has continued to affect me in my life now. Even now I find myself shopping to get things that will go with what I already have so I will never appear to be wearing the same thing. I also have a recurring dream where I am either shopping and buying beautiful clothes or I am looking in my closet for something to wear and then I am walking through the high school cafeteria looking fabulous!

As a single mother of 3 I find myself spoiling my children and always trying to give them their heart's desire. I have a strained relationship with my mother now because she did not work (supposedly my dad wouldn't let her). I felt that if she had a job, we would not have been as unfortunate. We were never without food because my dad grew up hungry so keeping groceries in the house was his thing plus he was an awesome cook!

Sorry, this is so long but this is a great thread for us to share. It helps me now when I hear my students put down someone else for not having and they KNOW I will go off on them!

Now I am going to ask each of my kids if they consider themselves poor. Too often they say that their friends have more. I just want them to be happy but also thankful with their Jordan wearing/cell phone sporting selves! I break myself so they can keep up. I hope they realize that is why they have breakfast for dinner somethimes.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by KAPital PHINUst

Oh, I most definately know what it's like to go without. Having to forego field trips due to lack of funds, oh yeah. Utility disconnections, been there done that (electric disconnection Monday Sept 9, 1985 that lasted 4 days, and gas shut off due to old pipes and water heater system 9/28/89 that lasted about 3 weeks).

Having to scrape up change to buy a 43 cent pack of Hostess Chip Flips (which were IMHO so delicious) or a 25 cent Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie (this was circa 1983-85).


I remember being promised an allowance of 30 cents for each time I emptied a “loaded” mousetrap (and amassing close to $10—in 1982 dollars, mind you, within a month’s time that my mother never paid me for). Subsequently, I never had to empty any more mousetraps after that. About a year later, I was given an allowance of $1 per week and was paid every 2 weeks—which lasted maybe a couple of months before that came to an end. I received for my 10th birthday a whopping $2.25 in cash—6 months later I visited my Aunt Rozina in Pittsburgh and she game me $5 for no reason at all. I thought I was big ballin’ for a kid.

I was so accustomed to making chump change, if I ever had over $10 in my pocket at any given time; I thought I was a millionaire (or close to it).

When I was 12 years old, I amassed $15 in birthday money so I opened up my first savings account at Bank Ohio (now National City) and got my own little bankbook. I thought I was the MAN—until the bank started charging my account $5 a month in bogus service fees. My mother promptly closed the account and reimbursed me the $5. What the fuss kinda gangster mess was that? A big bank such as Bank Ohio charging a kid such bogus fees. Was someone on the pipe to be doing stuff like that?


Wearing clothes from Charity Newsies, did that too. Having food with the white box and black lettering that just said "CEREAL" or "BEANS" ala Chris Rock's stand-up bit, I can relate, and not just the government-issued food, but from a now-defunct chain supermarket called Big Bear that had no-name brand food.

Buying groceries on credit from a corner store called Little Giant, (I bet some of you young folk didn't know you could do such a thing). My family went off welfare in 1986 and I felt a burden being lifted off the family as a result.

I remember being “upgraded” from free to reduced price school lunches in 10th grade. I also remember at the age of 14 being denied a summer job via my city’s Private Industry Council because my family made too much money. I actually found that denial a thinly veiled compliment and was actually flattered.

I also remember eating free box lunches in the summertime at the local Recreation and Parks summer program at the local playgrounds and recreation centers. Does any other city besides mine have something to that effect? You gotta love those turkey sandwiches that smelled like someone’s B.O.

I remember as a teenager, my appetite starting to grow. Those portions Mom gave me as a kid wasn't cutting it anymore. The one thing I remember inventing to eat to hold me over until dinner was a "spice pizza", which was a slice of toasted bread with ketchup, numerous spices from the spice cabinet (chili powder, onion powder, etc.) salami bits, and government cheese all toasted in the toaster oven and served hot. Delicious!!

But for what it was worth, my family did without many things, but we were never evicted, and we never went hungry. Praise God.

::fanning myself:: lawd memories! not ones that i prefer. but yeah. my mom used to make a huge put of spagetti at the beginning of the week, hoping it would last. by thursday, friday, we were so over spagetti. even now if i had to go without spagetti in my life, i would be OK. same thing with Ramen noodles. i didnt understand when i got to college why everyone was so ga-ga over them - as far as i was concerned, it was poor ppl's food - 10 for $1 you know? these fools were paying as much as 35 cents a pack for one!

them free school lunches, man! lunch tickets were a serious business. after 6th grade if you ate school lunch, you got ragged on cause it meant you couldnt afford food from the snack line (they sold hot pretzels, cookies, juice, and some other mess). i would save my $ for DAYS to get a pretzel like it was no big deal. even worse was school breakfast - you had to get to school like an hour early which meant getting up an hour early, which my mother found real convienent to get to work. and THEN all the bullies used to jack kids for their free lunch tickets and sell them to OTHER kids to make money. shame, po folks stealing from other po folks!

as if i didnt have enough to be laughed at for (overweight, bad clothes, few clothes, awkward overall) i was eating school lunch - and liked it!


i've gone without in so many ways growing up and it hurts to see my younger siblings take some of what we have NOW for granted. i didnt have name brand sneakers until 8th grade, and i was only allowed to wear them on certain days (i wasnt even a bad kid - stellar grades, one of the good kids... WTF?). we didnt have cable until i was like 16 (and it was bootleg, kept going out and what not). we didnt get the internet until my senior year of h.s. was evicted twice, one for back rent, the second time by a fire, which made my first year of college REALLY hard. it pissed me off, hearing my college friends talk about "OMG im so poor, i cant afford to go out drinking tonight." man please. do you have somewhere to call home? where's your next meal coming from? can you go to the ATM and depend of money coming out?

times like that make you really believe in something higher. but times like now that i DO have convince me that there is something higher. man, i am so grateful!