Coming out Greek

[Tom Earp]

Coming out?

1st, there is nothing wrong about being Greek!

2nd, you are not the first who has gone along or run into this problem.

I am sure many on site have as I have

Parents are funny and so are others who have never been in a Greek Organization.

Maybe the unlearned do not know!

[LTA4]

i think that being greek is something to be proud of-- an accomplishment, a commitment, and a lifestyle that at its best is not only beneficial to those that are Greek but also to those surrounding them. And I'm sure that most everyone who is Greek feels the same way, or else they wouldn't have joined their org.

I would just try to stress the positive aspect of Greek life-- the service, philanthropy, sisterhood/brotherhood, networking, and positive life experiences. Typically people who are anti-Greek have only been exposed to the negative/stereotypical idea of Greek life, and perhaps trying to educate them will help. Otherwise, I would just let them feel the way they feel and still be proud of it, because obviously if they care about you then hopefully it won't affect your relationship with them either way.

[Pike_Cardinal]

As far as my parents knowing I was greek, it wasnt a big deal because they dont really understand. In fact, I was really proud of my accomplishment, but they really werent because they didnt know what I had done. My dad called me a couple of weeks later and was like "Is everyone in the fraternity an alcoholic" to which I said no and he said alright ill talk to ya later. He called me one more time because he had been talking to one of his company partners who had a bad greek experience and he was making sure i wasnt a "frat boy". It was much harder to tell my non-greek friends, they just dont understand either.

[cheerfulgreek]

My parents are both greek so they were really supportive of my decision to pledge a sorority. They were both really happy for me when I came back home for the summer, greek.

[Goddess01]

Originally Posted by Kevin

What do you mean, "come out"? Is it important to you that everyone know you're in a GLO? I mean, it may be a big deal for you, but if they don't like those organizations, what's the big deal? Do what you do.. have your car decals, your letters, if someone asks you a question, you answer it.. but really.. are you wanting to sit on the phone all night going through your high school telephone directory letting everyone know that you pledged a sorority?

They should probably be able to figure it out by looking at your myspace page.

So on point here!

[LadyLight]

These comments are a little rude guys, I was talking about my parents and my 2 best friends back home, not my whole high school. I just wanted to hear other ppl's experiences and maybe get a bit of an idea as to how some ppl have reacted. It's completly normal for me to want to share events in my life with the ppl closest to me and if you don't have a helpful comment, you don't need to respond

[ChildoftheHorn]

Its weird, my mom's side is all greek and only a few people are on my dad's side. My mom is greek and my dad hung out and did all the stuff with my mom's sorority (Sorority boy!) and there are definately somethings that are just funny. Mom gets everything and understands, my dad is clueless. His first comment was "Your grades better be good, that what I am sending you for!"

Actually, I think that it helps my grades since the sorority community at my school is very academic ( the lowest sorority has a 3.4/4 avg.!) which is higher than the school average by quite a bit. I think there is this little motivation to do a little better because you represent not just you and the org.s are full of many of the most prominant figures on campus at my school. There is really no such thing as a "stereotypical" sorority on my campus, but I have been to other schools that fit that bill. You may want to go into all the palpable benefits to your parents. Tell them about how it builds moral character, networking, leadership skills, social abilities, and lifelong friendships.

The whole drinking thing is a lil wierd, but you can paint that is a good light too. If you do that sort of thing, you are doing it with people you trust and trust in you. If they were your brothers/sisters, they would not let you go overboard and would always be looking out for your best interests. It is still better than drinking alone, right? There are a lot of benefits to being greek that you can find articles online, just look it up!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by LadyLight

These comments are a little rude guys

People have different interepretations of what it means to "come out" as a Greek and who you're "coming out" to. Simple as that.

Originally Posted by LadyLight

if you dont have a helpful comment, you don't need to respond

Or you don't need to read.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

People have different interepretations of what it means to "come out" as a Greek and who you're "coming out" to. Simple as that.



Or you don't need to read.

You have a point, but I don't get people's responses when she says she's talking about her parents and her friends at home. You know the people you talk to about school stuff. I don't think she really means like sitting down with her friends and having a heart to heart talk, but it's going to come up and they might be jerks about it.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

You have a point, but I don't get people's responses when she says she's talking about her parents and her friends at home. You know the people you talk to about school stuff. I don't think she really means like sitting down with her friends and having a heart to heart talk, but it's going to come up and they might be jerks about it.

I understand what the OP is saying. However, people have different ideas of what being Greek is about and different types of interactions with family and friends. Some people (like a friend of mine) don't tell their family or friends much of anything. Like a friend of mine who pledged almost 10 years ago and never told her deeply religious family and friends from back home.

So the comments are what they are.

[guardedbystars]

Originally Posted by Pike_Cardinal

As far as my parents knowing I was greek, it wasnt a big deal because they dont really understand. In fact, I was really proud of my accomplishment, but they really werent because they didnt know what I had done. My dad called me a couple of weeks later and was like "Is everyone in the fraternity an alcoholic" to which I said no and he said alright ill talk to ya later. He called me one more time because he had been talking to one of his company partners who had a bad greek experience and he was making sure i wasnt a "frat boy". It was much harder to tell my non-greek friends, they just dont understand either.

My parents didn't/don't really understand all about it so like Pike_Cardinal said, they weren't upset, but they weren't super excited about it because they had no idea what I was doing. My mom is more interested in it because she's met some of my sorority sisters and she knows that they're great friends and awesome people all around. My biological sisters don't understand at all--my older sister will ask how it is, but that's about it. I want my younger sister to rush, but ultimately it's her own choice.

I got a lot of backlash from my high school friends; most of my college friends kind of already figured I was going to rush/pledge (even before I knew I wanted to!!). The week I put it in my AIM profile/Facebook, I received a lot of messages and IMs from people saying "I can't believe you did this, you're a bad person" -- I don't really talk to these people anymore because they clearly didn't support me.

My high school friends that I still hang out with have come to accept it and I still see them all the time even though I have 90+ sisters that they don't know

[SnuKnight172]

When I rushed I got the "why are you doing that you should concentrate on school" from my Dad. My Mom was cool with it she didn't have any problems or concerns. My Grandparents were a little concerned as well. I guess everyone was concerened about the partying, drinking, etc.... My Grandfather went as far as to say "you are already Greek (by blood) why join a fake Greek group."

All of the critisism stopped when they realized there was a philanthropical side to being Greek. My Dad actually hired some of my Bros and they were the best employees he has ever had. He still calls asking for phone numbers of guys looking for jobs.

My Grandparents became cool with it when they meet my wife (girlfriend at the time) who was an Aphi.

To add to my Dad's approval, he coaches a traveling men's baseball team and 50% of his players are from the Fraternity. He also plays in the chapter's golf tourney every year.

My family was so supportive come time for my sister to go to school (my Senior year) they wanted to make sure she rushed. She is now an Aphi. The only thing that concerns them about her is the Spring Breaks in Mexico..

You just have to get everyone over the initial shock and stand your ground. You joined a worldclass organization and they will see that in a short amount of time.

[jennie3576]

Neither of my parents went to college - I was the first. My dad never had an opinion about it, but I don't think he understood it. My mom was completely against it because she saw her friend's 2 daughters have really negative experiences. But I told them before I rushed that I wanted to do it. My dad, like I said, never had an opinon. My mom opposed it, but figured I'd do it anyway. Once I brought my mom to campus to meet my new sisters, she got it! And dad got it when he met my husband (obviuosly boyfriend back then!). He said "thank god you joined that group with the funny letters - so you could go to a party for another group with funny letters to meet him!"

[KyleMcGuire1983]

Originally Posted by Kevin

What do you mean, "come out"? Is it important to you that everyone know you're in a GLO? I mean, it may be a big deal for you, but if they don't like those organizations, what's the big deal? Do what you do.. have your car decals, your letters, if someone asks you a question, you answer it.. but really.. are you wanting to sit on the phone all night going through your high school telephone directory letting everyone know that you pledged a sorority?

They should probably be able to figure it out by looking at your myspace page.

To respond to my brother Kevin here....

It can be a challenge to those living in less traditional areas....like the San Francisco area for instance.

My parents were none too thrilled about the whole thing....to this day they're ambivelent but it's possible they aren't totally against it since they saw how much chapter supported me through some problems I had.

My old high school buddies, who are the real liberal types, told me I had "bought" friends blah blah blah...the usual nonsense true GDIs believe in.

So it can be a pain in the ass when you have people around you who either buy the stereotypes or are just outright hostile towards GLOs

[SnuKnight172]

Originally Posted by KyleMcGuire1983

My old high school buddies, who are the real liberal types, told me I had "bought" friends blah blah blah...the usual nonsense true GDIs believe in.

I got this from some of my friends as well yet I meet most of them playing football or baseball. Weird last time I checked I paid to play football and baseball. I brought this to their attention and they haven't brought it up since.