[QUOTE]Originally posted by DoggyStyle82:
Ladies, do any of these apply to you?
**Okay DoggyStyle, you asked for it!
**
-If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
**only once you get past a certain age! my sons answer but my husband takes the fifth**
-Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
**and if it's down, put it up. in our defense sometimes ya just gotta go, like in the middle of the night or coming home from work**
-If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
**point taken**
-Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
**I cut my hair to a TWA (teeny weeny afro) about 6 months after I got married. since it was only chin length and I wore it back most of the time, it didn't matter. in fact, my husband encouraged it. and I look GOOD I might add
**
-Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
**you'll never find the perfect gift because we always change our minds!**
-If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
**don't ask, don't tell?**
-Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics asnavel lint, the shotgun formation, or power tools.
**what the _____?**
-Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.
**only during football season**[/B
-Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
**but we can shop while you watch sports, right?**
-When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
**its fine until you see how other men react!**
-You have enough clothes.
**NEVER**
-You have too many shoes.
**try telling that to me when I am tearing the room apart getting ready for work or going out. a woman can NEVER have too many shoes**
-Crying is blackmail.
**sometimes...**
-Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
**I want to never have to worry about money or perform housework again; any takers?**
-No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
**but do you look at the calendar?**
-Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
**then clean it up!**
-Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
**you won't**
-Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
**no comment**
-Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
**I found out the hard way**
-A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
**maybe its not really a headache?**
-Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
**amen**
-Check your oil.
**why when we have you to do it for us? don't forget to fill up the tank while you are at it
**
-It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
**true; the answer choices are never real anyway**
-Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
**no way, the words will lurk in the back of our minds FOREVER. unlike men who don't listen, we record and playback every single word you have ever said**
-If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
**yeah, right**
-Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
**oggling is one thing, dislocating your neck is another; BTW if we do let you look, no comments please**
-You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.
**how else can we be sure that you are doing the right thing at the right time in the right way? lol**
-Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
**since you guys always flip channels on commercials, there are never any breaks!**
-ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
**men only see in 3 colors -black, white and gray**
-If it itches, it will be scratched.
**but have some couth about yourselves, and wash 'dem nasty hands!**
-If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
**if we say 'nothing' then you are probably the problem and don't act like you don't know what you did!**
-What the f*ck is a doily?
**???**
All in good fun, bruh.
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MCCOYRED
Mu Psi '86
BaltCo Alumnae
Dynamic...Salient...Temperate...Since 1913
Linear Mode
