You're no hotshot. She FAKED IT! - Page 2

BobbyTheDon · #16 11-02-2005, 09:57 PM

Yyeeahh! There you go!

More stories dammit! MORE! C'mon Greeklawgirl, I know you've got some!

BobbyTheDon · #17 11-02-2005, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jharb
This sounds a lot like the President of Theta Xi at Purdue. He's got a small penis, and I was drunk and told him it was HUGE. Unfortunately he thought I was serious. When you have to wear snug fit condoms you have a problem. He drove a fast car also, and was fairly short. He had a lot to make up for.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

greeklawgirl · #18 11-02-2005, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BobbyTheDon
More stories dammit! MORE! C'mon Greeklawgirl, I know you've got some!

Instigator! Maybe I have some and maybe I don't. Either way, I'm not sharing.

honeychile · #19 11-02-2005, 10:41 PM

I wish I could be more help, but...

I was dating KK (just prior to the former mr. honeychile) for almost a month, and while we had made out, there hadn't been much else. Should have been Hint Number One.

So, we were slow dancing, and he was telling me how I was getting him all excited, and just to prove it, he put my hand in the appropriate place (over the clothing, this was in public!).

I felt... nothing. Absolutely nothing. I started really feeling around, and still... nothing. I looked down, and he said something to the effect of "liking what you see?" while I still saw... nothing.

Not even the AAA battery.

He has since married, and supposedly fathered a child, but between the size of his wife (think Shamu) and the size of his equipment (zip-nada-zilch), I sincerely doubt the paternity of that kid - unless IVF was involved.

I told the former mr. honeychile, as they were friends. His remark was right from Slap Shot, "That poor bastard!" I think he meant KK, not Shamu.

ZTAngel · #20 11-02-2005, 11:04 PM

I was dating a guy who thought that he was the shit. He had his modeling pictures all over his bedroom. He was dumb as rocks but really hot which is the only reason why I was dating him.

One night, we were hooking up and he took off his clothes. I got one look at his 4.5-incher and almost busted out laughing. I quickly blurted out, "I've gotta get up early tomorrow." I started gathering all my belongings when he said, "But...I wanted you to play with me a bit..." Play with what?!

I ran out of there so fast and made sure to call all my friends during my drive home so that we could laugh about it.

BobbyTheDon · #21 11-03-2005, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aphidancer03
There is a particular fraternity boy at my school who is well known for the size of his member... it is referred to as a third leg, but seriously it is HUGE. Bigger then my forearm. Quite frightening to see for the first time, which is often at a party were a rowdy girl hearing the rumor will pants him. He uses this as the reason he can act effeminate and wear pink more often then any girl i know. He says that he has the cock to back up being that "cocky", I think everyone else would just refer to him as an asshole. He thinks that the fact that he is so huge girls should just swoon and he shouldn't have to do any work. He needs to learn that it doesn't matter what size you are, if you don't know how to work it you are worthless!

ok so did you fake it with him or something? too much preface, not enough real time.

keep dancin!

BobbyTheDon · #22 11-03-2005, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aphidancer03
He kept asking if I had one and got really mad when I didn't and then decided that wherever it hurt me the most must be where would make me orgasm so I faked it to get him to leave me alone lol

oh shit dude. thats not funny. i think that sux actually. well i mean i find it funny that you had to fake it with him but i think it sux that he hurt you. maybe you should have let him know? i always ask if it hurts but i mean seriously when you have a penis the size of a mini hot dog like me i think its more of a joke u know? har har har jk. ok maybe not. eh maybe i am. BLAHHHHHHHHH! Just ask Rudeys mom.

bluefish81 · #23 11-03-2005, 01:10 AM

One of my boyfriend's in college redefined the 'minute man' stereotype. Sex with him was so bad and fast that I used to time it. There was nothing that I could do to slow the process down, despite my many efforts - his longest attempt was, I believe 8 minutes. It's because of him that I'm adamently opposed to faking it.

#24 11-03-2005, 02:38 AM

Oh yeah this thread's gonna become a big fat TMI pretty soon.

Dunno if I can take another fat chick's anal sex story.

Dionysus · #25 11-03-2005, 08:41 AM

The big white guy with the small black pecker....

And no, I didn't hook up with the guy, uhhhhhh!

He got drunk at this party, and thought it would be cool to suddenly whip it out.

I know some guys members can be a little darker than the rest of their bodies, but I think this guy must have been half black or something.

afboiler · #26 11-03-2005, 07:27 PM

I had to once ask a guy if it was in and his response.....yea and I am done was it good for you.....

I just got up and went to the bathroom.....how was I suppose to answer that question.

The worse when you have drunk sex and you think it was great and can't wait for the next time....the time you are sober and it sucks.....

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #27 11-03-2005, 07:35 PM

i liked shelly j.

That said, i think we need to see the stump link.

BobbyTheDon · #28 11-03-2005, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
i liked shelly j.

That said, i think we need to see the stump link.

huh? What are you talking about Punky Brewster.

And what did you do with AphiDancer03's Post? did you eat them again?

#29 11-04-2005, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
i liked shelly j.

That said, i think we need to see the stump link.

Aaaaaah! *points to Jacquelyn* Aaaaaah! You named "she who shall not be named"!!!! I'm getting yucky visuals in my head again!

I'd so post the link to stumpy, but seriously -- I think John would banish me on the spot for that. It's a funny pic, though. It was taken with his webcam, and it was sticking out of that little hole in his boxers, but you could barely tell it was there because all you could see was the plaid material, and then there was an eensy weensy part of flesh. And to think, he was hard when he snapped that photo.

He'd never take nude photos of himself because his size was soooooo not proportionate to the weenus. He's 6'3" and a former water polo player...do me a favor. Take your left hand and shape it into a 'c'. BAM! Michael Kaplan's weenus height -- top to bottom.

To think, he dumped me because a) I wasn't Jewish and b) I outdrank him and he couldn't keep up with me. I can laugh about it, but he's the one who has permanent damage for the rest of his life. Awwwww yeah.

His LiveJournal, though he hasn't updated in a long time. You can still see the kind of jerk he really is. Anyone who has the word "stud" in his username (same with sexy and the like) probably isn't one.

neonsparkles · #30 11-04-2005, 04:18 AM

This is soooooo weird. I was looking at that guy's myspace and all the comments from girls... and one of them is a girl I was "friends" with in high school. It really is a small world............
I wonder if she knows he has a small penis?