Forced to choose between being black or ________.

[laidbackfella]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Okey, Sistermadly and Jill1228:

My question really is to you, what is "THAT" that makes it hurt?

Just asking?

Even though I'm neither one of the two mentioned above I'll answer.

The issue is that more often than not it seems that Black People place other Black individuals in a box.

"You can only do this."

"You can't do that."

If you step out on a limb you MUST be trying to be White.

Naw, I'm trying to sample what the WHOLE world has to offer.

It's the fact that Black Folks don't cheer each other on for the positive choices that they make on a consistent and regular basis that don't fit into the social norm.

And it's not just a thought process.

"Negros" do fail to support choices.

Tuning out others is easy.

Tuning out your family and those you think are friends is the hard part.

[Jill1228]

Laidbackfella hit the nail on the head.
RA Cooper, I feel for your bro. I see you are in Canada. Did you and your bro go to school in the US?

Honeykiss, I feel ya about the fiance. Trust me I can relate!

Originally posted by laidbackfella
Even though I'm neither one of the two mentioned above I'll answer.

The issue is that more often than not it seems that Black People place other Black individuals in a box.

"You can only do this."

"You can't do that."

If you step out on a limb you MUST be trying to be White.

Naw, I'm trying to sample what the WHOLE world has to offer.

It's the fact that Black Folks don't cheer each other on for the positive choices that they make on a consistent and regular basis that don't fit into the social norm.

And it's not just a thought process.

"Negros" do fail to support choices.

Tuning out others is easy.

Tuning out your family and those you think are friends is the hard part.

[_Opi_]

To ask me to choose one over the other is akin to asking me to choose between my left eye or my right.

Cosign, Sistermadly.



I never had to choose a side, but others feel that I am not _____ (fill in: black, country of origin, canadian, or muslim interchangeably) enough...


I embrace all that I am...and to be frankly honest, I have connected with more people that way than if I was only loyal to one side of me.

[laidbackfella]

Originally posted by _Opi_
I embrace all that I am...and to be frankly honest, I have connected with more people that way than if I was only loyal to one side of me.

Indeed.

People honestly WANT to learn about differences.

Society has conditioned some not to ask.

And others to respond poorly when asked what sometimes truly is a simple question.

Thinking back on all the times I've heard about Black people getting upset when a White person asks why we need a month for Black History.

[abaici]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
This post in CC got me to thinking of this question.


Do you ever feel like you have to "choose sides" or an allegiance, if you will, between being black or something else? For example, between being black or an American - being black or following Christ - being black or being a member of an NPC/IFC - etc.

I do not feel that I have to choose sides. Furthermore, I should not have to choose sides. Once upon a time, I felt I was Black above all else. However, I am more aware of the fact that I am all at the same time. To compartmentalize aspects of who I am takes away from what makes me unique. People will want and expect you to choose, and not understand when you refuse to. That's the only time it's a problem. However, if you are secure, you will be fine.

[abaici]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
For me, it started when I became seriously focused on Christ and supporting His agenda - especially when it came to political discussions/debates. I have ran across blacks that seem to think that I should ALWAYS support other blacks, regardless as to what it is.....and if I don't, then I'm someone choosing something else over being black.

I'm just now getting there. As I stated earlier, it was my Blackness before anything else. Now, I'm really trying to follow God's plan for my life. However, I'm finding it extremely difficult to reconcile the beliefs I've held for so long with God's Plan for my life. Slowly, but surely, I'm getting there.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
Do you ever feel like you have to "choose sides" or an allegiance, if you will, between being black or something else? For example, between being black or an American - being black or following Christ - being black or being a member of an NPC/IFC - etc.

I don't feel as if I have to "choose sides," except in the rarest of examples (the latest GC brouhaha being one).

I often think that, despite our protests against being considered a monolithic group, we often treat ourselves as a monolithic group. That mentality is unhealthy, regardless if it ranges from the silly ("Black people aren't vegetarians") to the self-limiting ("We don't study art history").

Originally posted by laidbackfella
Black Folks don't cheer each other on for the positive choices that they make on a consistent and regular basis that don't fit into the social norm.

Isn't that the truth? Sometimes, it's the people who should be supporting you the most that try their hardest to tear you down.

----------

Has anyone read Authentically Black by James McWhorter? I don't agree with most of his political positions, but he has written several thought-provoking essays shattering the whole concept of "authentic" blackness and how we pigeonhole ourselves under false pretenses.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by Munchkin03

Has anyone read Authentically Black by James McWhorter?

I read it, and after I got over the initial feeling of revulsion for agreeing with a Conservative, I admitted that his thoughts on 'authentic' blackness were fairly accurate and could do with some discussion in the larger black community.

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
I read it, and after I got over the initial feeling of revulsion for agreeing with a Conservative, I admitted that his thoughts on 'authentic' blackness were fairly accurate and could do with some discussion in the larger black community.

Hey now, conservatives aren't that bad (well not all of us) LOL

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
Hey now, conservatives aren't that bad (well not all of us) LOL

Heh heh. Yeah, you're right - but you have to understand: I live in Canada, where "liberal" isn't a bad word.

[RACooper]

Originally posted by Jill1228


RA Cooper, I feel for your bro. I see you are in Canada. Did you and your bro go to school in the US?

Yeah he grew-up in Atlanta but came up here for school on his uncle's advice.... thought that skin colour would be less of an issue.

[sigtau305]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
This post in CC got me to thinking of this question.


Do you ever feel like you have to "choose sides" or an allegiance, if you will, between being black or something else? For example, between being black or an American - being black or following Christ - being black or being a member of an NPC/IFC - etc.

No.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
Do you ever feel like you have to "choose sides" or an allegiance, if you will, between being black or something else?

No.

But, it is interesting that the person quoted DuBois' writings on dual identity and said that he/she does not catch the most flack from NPCers. I wish that Black NPCer had quoted Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man."

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
I live in Canada, where "liberal" isn't a bad word.

Canada isn't that liberal. Many Canadians are quite conservative when you hear their views beyond universal healthcare and education.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
("Black people aren't vegetarians") to the self-limiting ("We don't study art history").

I hate it when people say stuff like that.

Those individuals do not necessarily represent "we" because they are a socially unconscious subsection of "us."