Think everybody's doin' it? Think again.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by hoosier
"I'm sinning, and I'm not happy," says Craig of her continued affairs with her friend.

She says she knows they aren't meant to be together in the future and says when they break up, she plans to abstain from sex again.

"I still believe in abstinence, I'm just not abiding in it right now," says Craig.

"I was strong for four years of saying 'no' for so long. Sex is great, I love it and it will be hard when we break up, but God will give me the strength again."

What she really means...
"I feel kinda guilty when I am doing the nasty with my F**k Buddy, but not guilty enough to stop. I think I'll just keep doing him and then when we break up I'll go back to not having sex. Unless I get really horny, of course."

[James]

and she'll probably make the next poor guy wait around for a long time before she has sex . .. . because she feels so guilty for the last time . . . and if the poor schmuck is thick enough to wait.

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
What she really means...
"I feel kinda guilty when I am doing the nasty with my F**k Buddy, but not guilty enough to stop. I think I'll just keep doing him and then when we break up I'll go back to not having sex. Unless I get really horny, of course."

[AKA_Monet]

Hey, the little girl cain't handle the pressure of messin' around with homie... Apparently, he's laying down bricks on her like dat and she don't wanna give up the dick... So she justifies her actions as I am with him for now, but when we break up, then I will allow my stuh to get tight again for the next one--the one that God's wants me to be with...

The fact is, when as a Christian when one has lusted in his or her own heart, he or she has already sinned... That is the point about celibacy and abstinence from a Christian perspective... It was used as birth control in the middle ages during the Crusades Wars with Constantine... That is when reducing sex drive by "blunt force trauma" to the brain makes these kids so guilty now...

Now from a Tantra perspective, wasting time on "pointless and mindless" sex is all out wrong. One's Spirit cannot be misused in that manner. All interactions are there for one reason or another. The point is to learn the lesson that is being taught... Guilt will block one's ability to learn the lesson so that the person is immobilized and stuck in the mental condition possibly forever...

In some respects, true Christianity does reflect that in the parables--what was Mary Magadelene again???

So hey, if folks are out dere gettin' it on like hot budda popcorn--hopefully they are learning their lessons...

[trojangal]

An unusual story.

My cousin met his beloved when they were both about 17-18. They were dating different folks, but worked at the same job. I think she might have been a year behind him, but can't remember. Both Cris and Heather were very committed to a strong Christian relationship and they started dating about the time that he started college. They dated the entire time through college, and in his sr. year, Cris asked Heather to marry him, and she said yes. Their entire relationship they had not engaged in premarital sex because being pure was so important for them both for the future of their marriage. They were both virgins on their wedding night when they got married in 2001.

The cool thing with this...I have never seen a couple with such passion for each other as these two. They are very affectionate and have both a strong love and desire for each other.

[XOMichelle]

I'm just glad I don't have the feelings of guilt that the girl in the article does. How sad!

Also, I don't see myself getting married until I am 30. Waiting until you are 22 is one thing, waiting until you are 32 is quite another.

[SapphireSphinx9]

i understand where this girl is coming from... (although my mom took it in a totally opposite way than her mom "would.") i still feel really guilty for loosing my virginity! and i believe that i should have waited, like i wanted to… but since i didn't, my rational is: hey, it's already gone, so why not do what you like???

yes, it's hypocritical... and that's one reason why i decided to step back from my religion - i relate my situation to how the amish have rumspringa. i will eventually go back to practicing, but not until i feel like i'm not a hypocrite anymore. (which will most likely be after i'm married)

does that make any sense?

[Lovely_gurl]

Originally posted by SapphireSphinx9
i understand where this girl is coming from... (although my mom took it in a totally opposite way than her mom "would.") i still feel really guilty for loosing my virginity! and i believe that i should have waited, like i wanted to… but since i didn't, my rational is: hey, it's already gone, so why not do what you like???

yes, it's hypocritical... and that's one reason why i decided to step back from my religion - i relate my situation to how the amish have rumspringa. i will eventually go back to practicing, but not until i feel like i'm not a hypocrite anymore. (which will most likely be after i'm married)

does that make any sense?

Your post reminded me of the song "I Miss the Way" by Michael W. Smith.
However you feel about what you are and are not doing...and whenever and whyever you make the decision to embrace your spirituality again, you will be welcomed. Maybe not by the ones who like to call names like "hypocrite" and so forth...but certainly by your Lord who knows your heart and wants you to claim Him...not "step back" from Him.

What many don't seem to grasp...including those of us who are Christians...is that we are all sinners just like everyone else. Being a Christian means that you believe in the teachings of Christ...and try (and constantly fail) to walk in His example. And it is because of our sins...BIG OR SMALL...that we need our Savior.

I am by NO means one who makes all the right decisions...but I could not stumble and get up on my own....and I do not want to.

[sugar and spice]

What I don't really understand about viewpoints like that is WHY does losing your virginity have so much more importance than any of the rest of the times you have sex? I assume that it's still sinning just as much in the eyes of God as the first time was, but people don't treat it like that -- it's like turning in the v-card is a major sin and after that it doesn't really matter what you do. IMO we attach FAR too much importance on losing your virginity in this society and not enough on the sex that comes after that, which leads to situations like these where kids think, "Hey, well, I didn't want to lose it but since I have, I'll just keep having sex!" (which, in conjunction with the "you should wait until marriage and we aren't even going to imagine any other possibilities" brand of sex ed, leads to the fact that a lot of these kids start having sex and DON'T use protection -- fantastic! )

So yeah. Effective sex ed programs and even effective abstinence-only programs need to be able to work with the kids who have already HAD sex, to get them to see why abstinence after losing your virginity is still possible and important. Too many of them write these kids off as failures, and so these kids end up feeling caught in limbo where they still think of sex as sin but they're not accepted in the virgin camp anymore.

[Kevin]

http://www.infinitydog.com/technicalvirgin/

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by ktsnake
http://www.infinitydog.com/technicalvirgin/

Check this out, from that web site:

-=| TAKE THE PLEDGE OF TECHNICAL VIRGINITY! |=-

Print this pledge and sign it. Print extra copies for your
friends and ask them to sign it, too. Then enjoy your new
life of sexual fulfillment free of the risk of pregnancy!

1) I believe that vaginal heterosexual intercourse and its
accompanying possible consequences of pregnancy should be
postponed until marriage or college, whichever comes first.

2) I believe that orgasms are an important part of a healthy
and balanced life.

3) I believe that masturbation should be encouraged among
males and females of all ages, both by manual methods and
with the use of vibrators, dildos and other such devices.

4) I believe that sharing orgasms with others, via manual,
oral, and anal sex between consenting partners, whether of
my same sex or the opposite sex (providing proper safety
techniques are utilized) is a moral and desirable activity
for myself and my peers.

5) I will encourage others to join me in my beliefs and
activities.


Signed: ________________________________________________

So, does this mean that Bill Clinton was right?

[AKA_Monet]

Where did this "Thine shall not have bucket wild sex" commandment come from?

Losing your virginity was not as large issue in the Christian Bible as it is today... How do you account for Mary Magadelene? Jezebel? Hagar? Hey even Sarah for that matter? Hayle, if the story wasn't written the way it is, Joseph would have not married Mary the Mother of Jesus--regardless if it was a virgin birth or not--'cuz ain't nobody seen a human woman get pregnant without sex back in that day...

So when did this No-sex restriction start, confirming virginity for women?

Before and during the Crusades... In fact, the English King did not want any of the Scots and Irish to keep on breeding... So he restricted the women, to be of certain age--trying to make them too old to have children--to stop them from having more Scots and Irish... That just got translated to other ethnic groups that came up through medieval Europe.

Then during the "guilded age" and the "Victorian Era", the high art of restricting a woman's sex drive when into high gear... With ethics upon ethics of how a "lady acts"...

I guess the thought was if we don't teach them about the "do", then they won't do the "do"--and then they won't care about the "progeny" of the result--yeah, right, great birth control there, buddy...

Birth control concept came in the early 20th century during the suffragate movement... A woman NEVER told her husband "no"--hence, mostly European immigrant families, were dying to have their 5+ child... So it was immigrant women that were wondering how to limit their numbers of pregnancies... Then the world wars occurred and changed many things...

And as some of you know, the actual pharmacological birth control method that came out was in the 1960...

And women at that time--mostly younger 20-somethings thought they had a sexual freedom from pregnancy and they relished in it... But they had all kind of bucket wild sex--not really knowing how to explore the truest forms of sex... And that's when several scientists started pursuing answers to what is "orgasm" physiologically, molecularly, psychologically--etc... You know, "Sex and the Single Girl..." stuff...

But the one thing folks did not account for are the socioeconomic-etrangements and problems that result in mass mating without procreation... And the skewing of how young folks coming up would be influenced like that...

Biblically, there is no concept of how to have sex. It just said this what you do and this is what you don't do... Period... It doesn't allow for the concept of "ecstasy" or "sensuality" or "orgasmic"... One has to read into it to defer those concepts of sex from alternative sources... Then once the references from other sources are made, a few of the Christian Biblical concepts about sex can be understood...

Why would God want humans to have sex a certain way? Why not all ways? Personally, IMO, I do not think the Christian Bible says those kinds of things. I do think there is persecution of those that abuse sex. But I do not think that true "loving relationships" (maritial or not) are not God's plan--otherwise explain why the Bible refers to prostitutes--often?

I think the best manual out there about how to approach physical and sexual relationships is the "Kama Sutra" with the concept of the "Tantra"... There are other manuals. But that manual is probably the best that we've got without adding science into the mix...

So let's get it on...