Sober Sisters: More Harm Then Good???

[Jill1228]

Sober sisters are a great idea! I would MUCH rather pick up a sister at 3am from a club than:

raising money for a sister's bail
or even worse: finding out she is at the morgue

It is called being your sister's keeper!

[ThetaPam]

*NOTE: The following is not my own belief, just opposition that we faced when trying to establish our program.*

While trying to re-vamp what was left of our "SOS Pager" program, I learned that one of the major concerns with sober sister programs is not that it encourages excessive underage drinking, but that it places unnecessary liability on one member of the chapter. There is a worry that if something were to happen to the sober sister's car while on duty, the fraternity could be held liable because that night, she was the representative of the fraternity's program. We were encouraged instead to hand out a card with the name and phone number of everyone in the chapter, and allow those girls who don't drink and would be willing to pick up a sister at any hour to raise their hands.

I thought it was an interesting concern. But as long as it prevents drunk driving, I think it's a useful tool - whether it's officially organized by the fraternity or handled the way we did ours.

[mmcat]

yes but...
an alternative should be there of some sort

[Tom Earp]

JillyBean, you said so true!

It does show, that some Chapters are caring and worrying about their Members. I was surprised when I found it happening at mine and was damn proud of them!

Drinking, yes, it will happen and does, but at least there is an effort to try to keep tragic events from taking place.

Now, if there was this much thought in Associate/Pledgeing portions of GLOs!

[KDPixie]

We had a similar program, though we started calling it a Sister Cell, where girls would sign up for nights, have a cell phone, and if you needed a ride, you called and identified yourself. It could be used for sober rides, but also announced for anytime you might be out, maybe after dark, and need a ride, drunk or not. That might be a better idea, that way it does not promote drinking per say.

Though for some reason, my chapter had to discontinue it, and we have not been told why, but possibly for similar reasons as your friend said...

[AlphaXiGirl]

I agree with everyone here that having a DD is very important if you are going to be drinking... not going to argue that point...

but let me play devils advocate...

(1) Why should an organization have to mandate an organized DD program rather than teaching its members to be responsible. As a 30-something year old woman, if I am going to be out and having drinks, I am responsible enough to make sure to have a sober driver.... sometimes this means that I get to have a few glasses of wine with dinner and sometimes I have to be the driver for my husband if he's going to have a few beers. If sisters are going out together - they should be adult enough to designate someone to drive or stay sober so that the group arrives home safely.

(2) We're talking about non-chapter events here, right? I agree that for chapter sponsored events, a DD program or buses are a must. The chapter is responsible for the event and the full liability of the event is on the fraternity. However, if we are simply talking about members going out on their own, you are now taking an event that was not at all a fraternity event and turning it into one from a liability standpoint. If something does happen to the "sober" car, it is now extremely easy for the fraternity to be held liable, because, although the event was not chapter sponsored, the ride home was. Why would you want to put the chapter or national organization at more risk than it is already?

(3) The chapter members personal auto insurance is absorbing any cost for an accident. It is widely misunderstood that, because the sister is providing a ride at the fraternity's request, that the fraternity's insurance will kick in to pay if there is an accident. This is, in most cases, not true. When a member is playing taxi cab for the chapter, their personal auto insurance is what is protecting that car. I was fortunate enough to have my parents pay my auto insurance for me when I was in school. They would have flipped to find out that I was putting my car at additional risk for my chapter. They would never have a problem with me giving a sober ride home to a friend - don't misunderstand me - but if I have a pager or cell phone and am the designated taxi cab for the chapter, that would be a different story.

(4) I agree with most posters that many underage students will drink. I also do think that programs like this do allow underage students more opportunity to drink - but it's likely that they were going to drink somewhere anyway. My issue on this front is what do you do with underage members that use the DD because they have been drinking. You want them to use the DD program if they have been drinking but now that they have admitted that they have broken fraternity, university, state, and federal law, do you bring them in front of your standards board???? You should. However doing so will stop underage sisters from using the program and since roughly 3/4 of every chapter is probably underage - why have the program at all if only 1/4 will/can use it.

Please don't misunderstand my point. Our chapter members' safety is most important. I just don't think that you need to jeopardize your organization to keep your members safe. Work out a DD program on a night by night basis and allow your members to be the adults that they claim to be by acting responsibly.

[33girl]

If your parents have issue with you riding your friends around, they shouldn't allow you to have a car in college or pay for the insurance. I mean hello.

A DD program makes sure that everyone takes turns and one person doesn't get stuck doing it all the time. Even if there is one sister who never drinks that doesn't mean she should have to be eternal taxi.

I know that you are thinking of the "liability for the sorority" standpoint, but that doesn't mean jack shit to me when a member's life is concerned. One of my friends left her advisor position because the fraternity told her she wasn't allowed to pick up sisters from the bar because the fraternity would be at risk. She said "I thought I was responsible for the girls' safety, not the fraternity's safety." We are talking about PEOPLE here - they are the important thing.

[shadokat]

I agree with you 33girl, in that we're talking about people, but we are also talking about our organizations. AlphaXiGirl brings up great points to think about when setting up a sober sister program. If sisters, as those who care about their members' well-being when they are drinking choose to remain sober and provide rides, that's ok, but making it into a sorority or fraternity program, while admirable, adds liability that some organizations will probably not want to take on.

[33girl]

I think the point of a program is to ensure that every sister in the chapter does her fair share. Let's face it, we all have members who will take advantage in this or any situation, and members who will always be the doormat. I never volunteered to be DD (mainly because I had no car, LOL) but if it would have been something that everyone did I'd have no problem with it.

And with some of the policies the way they are, 3 sisters just going to a fraternity party or a bar could be considered an "event" anyway. So what's the difference?

[AchtungBaby80]

On nights when I was the Sober Sis, the phone never rang. Guess they all had their own DDs or took cabs.

[Xylochick216]

We have a Sister Cell program, too. It's mostly used for people who ned a designated driver, but sisters can also use it if they simply need a ride somewhere and don't have a car. We're not allowed to call it Sober Sister because of reasons others explained (encouraging people to drink more, etc). But it's a great program. It's worth the risk, I think, rather than having sisters drive drunk.

The one thing I don't like about ours now is that we used to have an actual cell phone so you could get calls when you were driving other people. Now we just use the house phone, which is free, but if someone calls when we're picking up someone, they don't get anyone.

[efcheerBB]

We used to do something like this. It was called Safe Rides. There would be two sisters (A and B) at the house on Thurs, Fri, and Sat nights. One would be the sister A with the car and the other one would be sister B who would answer the phone between 11-2 on those nights. That way if sister A was out getting a sister who needed a ride, anyone that called would still get someone at the house. Then sister B would call sister A's cell and let them know that someone else needs to be picked up. Just like several other houses, it wasn't just for when you needed a DD. If you were somewhere and were ready to go home and didn't have a car with you, you would call Safe Rides and they would pick you up and take you back to the house or your dorm.

[bordeaux hearts]

i dont know if its just us but our sober sisters can cut anyone off at any time, send them home in a cab or with a sober driver if they need to go home, and make sure that everyone is being safe about drinking....we're college students and if we want to drink we should at least do it responsibly but there are those who need others to help them realize when they have had too much.

[Lovely_gurl]

Originally posted by AlphaXiGirl
My issue on this front is what do you do with underage members that use the DD because they have been drinking. You want them to use the DD program if they have been drinking but now that they have admitted that they have broken fraternity, university, state, and federal law, do you bring them in front of your standards board???? You should. However doing so will stop underage sisters from using the program and since roughly 3/4 of every chapter is probably underage - why have the program at all if only 1/4 will/can use it.

I thought this one raised a very interesting point. I mean, no, we don't really want to be "policing" our members outside of our own events. And, as many have pointed out, students are going to drink anyway and as their sisters/brothers, we don't want them driving. BUT...should offering rides to underage members who choose to drink really be a fraternity-endorsed program since underage drinking *is* against the law. I don't know...seems like a slippery slope in terms of liability and something that might be better left for a "just between friends" informal arrangement. OR, maybe another solution would be to hand out cards with the number for SAFE RIDES on it to all chapter members. This at least would not make it a fraternity issue.

I am all for friends watching out for one another and making sure we all get home in one piece (WITHOUT driving drunk), but I think some good liability points have been made here and unfortunately, there are not many groups who can afford not to be congnisant of liability issues nowadays.