Did everyone LOVE formal recruitment?

[33girl]

Originally posted by AlphaFrog
I hated COB because my only semester active, that's all we did....every week it was at least one COB...and girls don't respond to COB at WIU. If you get any girls to come out at all, generally, they're just looking for next semester at formal.

That's really not how it's supposed to be...COB should be more of a if Susie hangs out at the house a lot and lots of sisters like her, we can give her a bid. Or if Jenny really hates formal rush but loves our open bid parties and we like her we can give her a bid. We had open bid parties maybe once a month, to keep girls interested - if they didn't want to sign a bid that minute but kept coming back that was fine too. The "C" is not supposed to stand for "constant"!

And yes Jess, I know LOL.

[shadokat]

While formal recruitment isn't always fun, it's the best feeling to go greet all of your NMs and for it to be over and accomplish something. Also, if you only did COB, some chapters would never have girls at their house for the simple fact that they weren't "desireable" houses. I may get flack for that, but it's true.

[exlurker]

Originally posted by Tippiechick
I hated it... I was not treated well in several houses. There were quite a few inappropriate questions that were asked, "What kind of car do you drive and is it new? Does your mother stay at home? What kind of jewelry is that you are wearing? Is it real? How much money does your father make? Are you planning to lose those last few pounds once rush is over? Do you go out to bars? Do you drink? Do you know any boys here? Oh, you know a SigEp -- do you spend a lot of time over at the house?"

I can remember the houses that asked these questions...

One house even had a girl just sit there. She told me I was not going to be considered for that house. Then, she just stopped talking to me and we sat there until the skit started. Then, she walked away and left me to myself. Seriously.
. . .

Wow, Tippiechick and Cluey. Those are horrifying recollections. Cluey, I was thinking, before you mentioned UGA, that you must have had that experience at an extremely unsophisticated school. But UGA? Maybe not the absolute acme of polish and manners, but not a completely out-of-it student body either.

Times have changed, I guess. Way back when I went to college, and even before, I was taught that a gentleman does not ask questions like the ones you mentioned. I assumed that girls were taught the same thing -- asking about money or making personal remarks about someone's appearance is not proper.

What's interesting is that questions like the ones you mentioned, as well as the underlying values they display, play right into the hands of those who say Greeks buy their friends or are superficial.

Or maybe it was just a form of Southern hospitality that I'm not acquainted with.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Oh, just because the times have changed doesn't mean the questions have.

A friend of mine is the PCD for our Province (one of) and some of those questions are still asked during recruitment (and yes at "sophisticated" schools). Especially the one about "how much money daddy makes".

[exlurker]

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
Oh, just because the times have changed doesn't mean the questions have.

A friend of mine is the PCD for our Province (one of) and some of those questions are still asked during recruitment (and yes at "sophisticated" schools). Especially the one about "how much money daddy makes".

Okay then, SmartBlondeGPhB, and I believe you don't like the practice of asking such questions, but I want to ask . . .

Not for myself, but for the benefit of women who may get asked that question during recruitment:

What is the desired response? Clearly you'll get cut if you smile sweetly and say, "None of your ****ing busines." But if rushers have the gall and built-in tackiness to ask, I don't see any reason why you'd necessarily have to tell them the truth. So what kind of figure are we talking about -- what do they want to hear? Is there some dollar amount that would come across as being okay -- at least enough for them to proceed and offer you a glass of ice water?

Why do I ask? Because there have been numerous posts on GC over the years saying that questions about money (not to mention boys, booze, and religion) are verboten. Evidently, as the Gershwins and their collaborators put it, "it ain't necessarily so." So instead of painting a picture of Fantasyland, it might be more helpful to pass along some tips for what to say if -- or even when -- you get hit with one of those questions.

[33girl]

I would probably say something along the lines of "not enough to buy that 10th Royal Lipizzaner Stallion I wanted to complete the matching set."

[honeychile]

Well, I don't know how anyone else would answer that question, but my response would have been (with a laugh), "Daddy does just fine, thank goodness!" or something on that line.

I'm not going to mention the GLO, but one actually did your basic Dun & Bradstreet on me when I was rushing. Turned out that the alumna in charge of doing so was a good friend of my mama's, and they discussed the matter!

After that phone call, I was told (as pro-greek as my parents were/are) that I was not permitted to rush "such a crass organization"!

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by exlurker
Okay then, SmartBlondeGPhB, and I believe you don't like the practice of asking such questions, but I want to ask . . .

Actually I don't much care either way. I was simply pointing out that the practice of asking those kinds of questions is not as "dead" as some would believe (or admit to).

If I was asked that question now I would probably make up some smart ass answer and laugh it all off. "Enough to pay for MY retirement as well as his".

Back during the time I went through rush I probably would have said I didn't know (because I didn't). But, anyone could have easily "guessed" at an answer by asking me where I went to high school, how many bros/sisters I have, and what my parents did (Catholic schools, only child, both worked).

But then "enough to give me everything I could ever want" works well too. In reality it doesn't really say much because you have no idea what constitutes "everything I could ever want". For me, it's pretty inexpensive since I learned long ago that "stuff" doesn't make me happy.

But, then again I would probably have been laughing to hard from the word "daddy" by an 18 year old to even answer the question......

[AXOKatie]

Wow, maybe i just go to one of those schools, but i was always taught that asking about money was definitely forbidden...it's hard too, because you want to find out if the PNM is financially responsible or can meet dues, pay for t-shirts, etc. without being totally and ridiculously nosy, so i always just trust that they know what their doing finance-wise when they go through recruitment...i really don't know what i would have done if someone had asked me point-blank how much my parents made, probably "Let's me call them tonight and ask them"

[Tippiechick]

Originally posted by IvySpice
TippieChick and Cluey, of course I would not ask which houses asked you those questions, but I'm curious about where and when you went through formal rush.

Ole Miss... 1998... I want to MAKE SURE to say that other houses and (obviously) ZTA did NOT act inappropriatly! Nonetheless, like Cluey, I also LOVE my school and everything that comes along with it. I just wasn't prepared for how rush would be. I had prepared for rush like it was MTSU...

ETA: I answered the money question honestly without giving specifics. I told them my father is a Mechanical Engineer, and he makes enough for us to live quite comfortably.

[Bama_Alumna]

But, then again I would probably have been laughing to hard from the word "daddy" by an 18 year old to even answer the question......

In the South, it's almost always Daddy.

I think it's very strange that at UGA they ask what your father does for a living. When I was an active, we usually knew enough about the rushees--yes, they were still called "rushees" then--before they ever walked through the door by reading their recs and their rush applications and through girls who were actives and were from the same hometowns as the rushees. If I recall correctly, a LOT of the rushees put their mothers & fathers' names on their resumes along with occupation and a long list of family greek affiliations. Not all of them did this, but there were a lot. I wonder if that is still the case. I wouldn't be surprised.

[dzandiloo]

On topic: I loved formal recruitment, as a PNM and as an active. Except, that I didn't think I was a very good "rush-er" so I ran for VP Membership so I could plan it & do the talking in front of the group, instead of one on one.

Re. the "daddy's income" question: I was never asked that, and don't think it ever occurred to us to ask (we were not a large Greek system, and had only really been in existence for about 3 years...we assumed if you were rushing, you had the means to pay...that was true for the most part). If I had been asked that question, I would have been completely unable to answer. My parents NEVER EVER discussed finances with their children-to this day, they don't talk about it. My only reply to that question would have had to be "my parents make enough." Wonder how that would have gone over elsewhere? I don't plan on informing my children of my income so if they rush somewhere where it is an issue, they will likewise be at a loss.

[FSUZeta]

as a pnm, a sorority member and a rush counselor. and kudos to honeychile for her classy answer to a tacky question.and honeychile, may i add to your answer,"and yours?"after all, it seems only fair that the pnm know if her potential sisters are up to her standard of living. there was a rumor on my campus that one of the sororities asked that question during rush, but i either dropped them before that time, or my friends that were in that sorority answered the question for me. but of course, rumors do fly during formal recruitment.

[kk_bama]

Originally posted by Bama_Alumna
In the South, it's almost always Daddy.

I think it's very strange that at UGA they ask what your father does for a living. When I was an active, we usually knew enough about the rushees--yes, they were still called "rushees" then--before they ever walked through the door by reading their recs and their rush applications and through girls who were actives and were from the same hometowns as the rushees. If I recall correctly, a LOT of the rushees put their mothers & fathers' names on their resumes along with occupation and a long list of family greek affiliations. Not all of them did this, but there were a lot. I wonder if that is still the case. I wouldn't be surprised.

Still happens. Getting recs and resumes by the boatload this summer. Some have two pages worth of greek affiliations-- it's insane! We make a slide show while preparing for rush called "names & faces" so we can memorize the girls.

[Speechpath]

I hated rush too (and yes I rushed at UGA) although I don't recall the "what does your daddy do" questions. I think you just get tired of the repetative questions and small talk. Most houses were great and I didn't have a negative thing to say about them, but there are always those few that don't make you feel welcome and show no interest in you. It was much better on the sister side, and most of that I enjoyed. It still is a good experience overall and does prepare you for some real life experiences later.


UGA rush is tough b/c it's competative and very formal and yes, very southern.