Fellow Sisterfriends: Hand Out or Hand Up

[SableCherub]

...actually...3 months of learning vs. 3 years of learning does not determine whether someone is more knowledgeable than someone else...i have learned more in 6 months than the two and a half years preceeding my last 6 months of research...it just depends on how diligent you are...not how long you've been looking...memorizing history does not mean you are more knowledgeable than someone that has not memorized history...and it won't guarantee you membership...even if they are encouraging you to do research...the world wide web is a wonderful tool...either move forward...evolve and progress...or get left behind in the aftermath of explosive perfection...

[This message has been edited by SableCherub (edited June 18, 2001).]

[ENDROAD]

Originally posted by SableCherub:
...actually...3 months of learning vs. 3 years of learning does not determine whether someone is more knowledgeable than someone else...i have learned more in 6 months than the two and a half years preceeding my last 6 months of research...it just depends on how diligent you are...not how long you've been looking...memorizing history does not mean you are more knowledgeable than someone that has not memorized history...and it won't guarantee you membership...even if they are encouraging you to do research...the world wide web is a wonderful tool...either move forward...evolve and progress...or get left behind in the aftermath of explosive perfection...

[This message has been edited by SableCherub (edited June 18, 2001).]

Sisterfriend,

I know that and no, I was not trying to imply that my three years of research was anymore important than anyone elses research. I was just saying that in my opinion there is no way the information can be redundant, because there is so much out there to learn. By all means knowing the history of an organization does not guarantee you membership, even when you are encouraged to research. However, your hardwork and perserverence is displayed when you do know somethings, as well as when you volunteer in the community, when you support Chapter activities etc. All these things make you a Better Candidate not a Guaranteed One.

[sunnydays96]

Why should you share? If people don't want to work hard to get into whatever sorority, then will they work hard if they make it and will they appreciate their sorority?

The research isn't that difficult to get. Just like you did your research, so should everyone else. There are many places where one can find the info that they seek. All they have to do is go LOOK for it. It's alright to be a nice person, but one has to draw the line between being nice and letting others take advantage of you.

There is a difference between not doing anything and asking others to give you info and doing the research, coming to a stump and needing some help. For the latter situation, it's alright to HELP someone. I wouldn't just plain out GIVE my research.

Scenario: Lets say you share your info with another interstee. She has the opportunity to share this info with a member first. You have the oppourtunity to share it with a member later. You repeat the same info which can make you look stupid by a) being redundant and b) not exercising discretion. Do you think sharing info helps now?

Lastly , one cannot place a time on the amount of research that must be done. If I waited 3 years, I wouldn't be a member now. Everyone's situation is different. Some people need/have only a short period of time and others need/have longer time to research. This all goes along with the idea that some info shouldn't be known until the right time. How does one know the right time? Well you will know when you get there.

[Mahogany04]

HI Endroad. The It wasn't a personal attack on you ENDROAD, I was just impressed that you are still finding new information. Though I had only been researching for three months, I have been STUDYING and learning the information for about 7 months (including months of research). A lot of information is disclosed in the book "The Divine Nine." Maybe you can advise your fellow interests to invest in this very informative and helpful work. It's $16.98 at most book stores. Remeber sister, we are in this together. There is no competition, as we are all working hard to seek AKA in our lives. As long as AKA is in your heart and GOD is on your side, you will be okay. Why don't you pray about your question whether or not to share your information; HE will answer. Have a nice day sister. But remember, in the future, do what you can to raise "us" as a people and help your sisters and brothers in any way that you can. There is no contest, but a little note, I will rise to any challenge. Don't doubt my knowledge because I haven't been researching as long as you. For the months that I have been researching and studying, I have studied daily and faithfully. We're in this together.

"Nobody But Nobody Can Make It Out Here Alone" --- Maya Angelou

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited June 18, 2001).]

[kitten03]

I've been confronted with this type of problem often. I call it a "problem" not because of the information that they seek but the lack of discretion they have in pursuing it. I use "they" to mean other SF's. No disrespect to them as people but I know that I worked hard to find out about members and the organization that I wish to be a part of. It bothers me when I'm asked a question that I won't answer, they continue to ask. Like I'm deaf! I always try to give as little as possible i.e. www.aka1908.com. But I hate when they expect me to come gushing forward with info. Also, my interest has been brought up at the most inconvenient times. It's so annoying. Fortunately and unfortunately, there are no members on campus but the need for discretion is still just as great.

On a lighter note, I'm always curious as to what types of things or information people are looking for. Not the easily sought info but those that take time and effort into finding. It's good to know i'm not the only one who's being a "Nosy Nellie"

[Mahogany04]

Sorry guys; I just wanted to clear up something. I didn't say that ll the information is redundant because, you can never learn everything there is to know about AKA. Even after one gains membership, there is so much to learn. The history is ongoing; and it would take a lifetime to learn everything. I wrote that the information on the internet starts to get a little redundant after a while. Of course there are so many other sources out there, which I have used to faniliraize myself with the history. One really good one is "The Divine Nine." OKay ladies, I'll have to chat later. I have to go.

" Without struggle, there is no progress."
-----Frederick Douglas

[Mahogany04]

familiarize sorry

[nikki25]

It's interesting that you've noted a key thing about your search: that you've been researching for 3 years. That's a huge commitment of time and resources. Information, like any valued commodity is something to treasure. According to your post, it doesn't seem as if your "friends" are genuinely valuing information. I would advise you to not release the information you've gathered throughout the course of your search.

Think of it this way: If you and an equally qualified friend were vying for the same job, would you share all of the information that you have? I don't think so. You'd probably share selected pieces of information that would ensure that you had the competitive advantage. You may choose to share nothing. The same may apply here.



[This message has been edited by nikki25 (edited June 18, 2001).]

[ENDROAD]

Sisterfriend, Mahogony 04,

I had no intention to challenge you or question your knowledge. Again, I was just making a point that the information is not redundant. Niether did I consider your post a personal attack, I am dissapointed that you considered mine to be such. As AKA2D '91, said "we" meaning Sisterfriends are not on a team as of yet, I know some interestees who will "probably" be selected and some of them I am already close to. But I now know that I will only share my book with my linesisters who are assigned to me by the Chapter members "IF" I am selected. Over 65 girls attended the interest meeting I attended. When they have Rush that fiqure will increase, they will not choose everyone..therefore that makes it a contest. I would like to be one of the finishers.

On that lighter note, Memberfriend Kitten03, I have found the stories of the founders and theirs lives after chartering Alpha Kappa Alpha to be very interesting. The death of Majorie Hill is very sad. She was honored by being the first and I often wonder why she died so young but have not been able to find a concrete answer I am definitely a Nosy Nellie, I have been up till two in the morning reading through books and searching the different websites. The Divine Nine is a good piece of reference but I have found other sources to be even more valuable. Some Chapters put more on their websites than others. It is a WONDERFUL journey and I am loving every minute of it.

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited June 19, 2001).]

[ENDROAD]

Thank you to ALL the young ladies who posted a response to my question. I was nervous about starting a topic but desperately wanted advice. I respect everyone's opinions and I pray that we (Sisterfriends) all make it to membership. However, as one of my favorite members of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity says, "Many are Called, but Few are Chosen," He knows who he is, probably. But the point is now I understand what you ladies are saying and I guess that is why I sensed my own reluntance to share information and asked the question to be assured that I was not being selfish. Again, thank you again for your input.

[SableCherub]

i would hope though that if you withold information from another sisterfriend it is not for self-serving reasons...like you are afraid they will get in and you won't...it should only be because maybe they are not ready for it...and at the time you came into the information...you were ready for it...to digest it and not flaunt it...it should be so that they find their own path...not because you are trying to obstruct theirs out of fear...

[InquiringMind]

ENDROAD, I can feel where you're coming from. I have been researching and collecting information almost daily for the past year and a half. I have been to nearly every webpage listed under greekpages.com, gone thru nearly every book available, and talked to God knows how many Greeks to obtain info on not only Alpha Kappa Alpha, but the other 8 NPHC BGLOs as well. As it has been said before, most of the information is easily accesible. No one knows where or what's in my notebook, but if someone that I know is also SERIOUSLY interested and in DIRE need of help, I will do all that I can to help. I'll point you in the right direction, but that's it--I'm not going to give you anything.

[Soulful Soror]

This one is a hard one. I know some older sorors who's mouths would drop at the notion of SF's not wanting to help each other. I was always told the "sisterliness/bond" begins long before your selection. You should know everybody that is chosen right along with you (maybe not their life story, but enough)....but, then, there IS the discretion that has to be figured into deciding who you share your info with..whenever I got new info, I called my sisterfriends to update them & vice versa. A lot of times that cross referencing brought misinformation to light (and, saved what could have been a SUPER embarrassing moment)..this may have been mentioned before, but what if you don't share info with a SF & she makes it..while you remain a SF..that may not sit well w/her..and, you could become known as an unsisterly Sister Friend..like I said, this is a hard one..

[AKA4MJ2]

Originally posted by Soulful Soror:
....You should know everybody that is chosen right along with you (maybe not their life story, but enough)....but, then, there IS the discretion that has to be figured into deciding who you share your info with..whenever I got new info, I called my sisterfriends to update them & vice versa.

Soror, I agree with you 108%... It is about discretion!!!!ENDROAD, this person that you are contemplating sharing info with, how well do you know his person? How close are you? Or is it a group of people? I ask this because, I too answered these same questions. And I was able to share with 1 person that I am very cool with. For me it is a respect thing! If you are not bringing nothing to the table, then do not expect me to give you all of my meal!!!IF this person have not done any researching or just the minimal (and you probably can reasonably determine this), then maybe you can offer some kind SF advice and point that person in the right direction.

Off the subject....

Someone mentioned this, and it has been bothering every since.....It may have been in this or another thread...

But the statement was " ...that they hope ALL SF make it into Alpha Kappa Alpha." AND I have to beg to differ! And I say this only because everyone is not meant or is made to be a lady of Alpha Kappa Alpha. Some Sorors may agree, some may not. Maybe it was just a kind gesture...

------------------

Alpha Kappa Alpha till the day I die!

I am at home......

[Alias_01]

I have been a serious interestee for about a year and a half and only in the last 6 months have I done some serious researching, partially because I did a research paper on BGLOs. Through the use of the internet I have amassed my own collection of information from websites such as the National website of the fraternity, the individual chapter's website and various other sites. Talking with members, I've even read the Divine Nine from cover to cover. So my acquired knowledge of what I want to pursue is very thorough. But I'm always looking for more to study up on. Does anyone know of any good websites I should check out?

Peace and Love
-Alias_01