The Rashads - Page 2

jazbri · #16 02-20-2001, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor:
One normally cheats because need are being met. Now we must keep in mind that there are couples who prefer to remain married and have a little something on the side. I know many couples that are in love but still find it refreshing the seek the comforts of someone other than his or her spouse. For example, I am often told that chic on the side listens to my boy's problems or my female associates suggest that their husbands don't spend time with them. I'm not suggesting couples can't be in love and still cheat only that often needs go unmet which result in cheating

Professor,

I don't know if you are a proponent of this 'reasoning' or not; however, I find it to be a thinly veiled excuse for WEAKNESS!
I am not verbally beating up on you. I am really tired of hearing that as an excuse. No, your not cheating because your needs aren't being met. First of all, you're cheating because you are incomplete as a person and second you're cheating because you are incredibly selfish.
I have personally experienced cheating within a MARRIAGE. From that experience and from observing others, the "my needs aren't being met and that's why I'm cheating" is just another example of the mission statement for today's society. INSTANT GRATIFICATION!!! If I can't get it here, someone else will provide it over there.

What ever happened to working through our problems and seeing if a solution can be found. After we've BOTH honestly given it a try, then perhaps we should cease and desist. After dissolving that relationship, maybe, I can then entertain introducing someone else into my life.

Cheating will only bring further trauma to a situation that's fragile.

Professor, this is in no way an attack upon you but that whole philosophy of my needs aren't being met so I'm gonna find someown else who can meet them. Talk about cake and eating it too!

But dem's just my two pennies.

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"Unless you know the road you've come down, you cannot know where you are going"
~Temme proverb, Sierre Leone~

[This message has been edited by jazbri (edited February 20, 2001).]

Discogoddess · #17 02-20-2001, 11:43 AM

PREACH, jazbri, PREACH!!!!

Discogoddess · #18 02-20-2001, 11:47 AM

Soror AKA2D, I guess I haven't been keeping up my 'scription to Sister2Sister or something! I had no idea about Patti and her man...oh well, things aren't always what they seem, huh?

DST Love · #19 02-20-2001, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor:
One normally cheats because need are being met. Now we must keep in mind that there are couples who prefer to remain married and have a little something on the side. I know many couples that are in love but still find it refreshing the seek the comforts of someone other than his or her spouse. For example, I am often told that chic on the side listens to my boy's problems or my female associates suggest that their husbands don't spend time with them. I'm not suggesting couples can't be in love and still cheat only that often needs go unmet which result in cheating

Well, maybe then these married people should act like adults. Meaning if their needs are not being met, then here's something new: DISCUSS IT WITH ONE ANOTHER!!! That is the problem with people today. Everyone wants what they want when they want it. No one wants to have to put in any effort for anything. If someone is worth marrying, then shouldn't they be worth working for? If the answer is no, then how about don't get married then. Just come and go with different people every rip as you please.

What is going on in the world today

!!!

This makes a sister not want to ever get married with people out there that think the way Professor stated.

ManndingoNUPE · #20 02-20-2001, 02:00 PM

Whew!!

Don't know if I want to jump in this one. I might catch slug. For real, BE, you hit it right on the nose bra. If I find out she is cheating, then yeah it is over.

That's just like saying, I am not good enough for you. My thing is, before it even gets to that point, somewhere someone should start communicating that their needs are not being met. Sometimes it's not even about sex, it's about communication.

I can't speak on it, becuase I have never been married. But when I do get married, I am trying to do it one time. If we got issues, we work them out together.

Me and a friend of mine were talking about this very subject a week ago, he cheats on his wife, and she has found out. I was like, what if she cheated on you. "Ahh man I would this and I would that!!" But I was like you cheat, so what is your point. "Well you know as a man!" I couldn't even finish the convo cuase his reasoning was way off.

While I will be the first to say that we really have no right to judge folks, and if a couple decide to stay together then that is on them. I know that I wouldn't.

MN

Professor · #21 02-20-2001, 02:29 PM

Good Afternoon My Brothers and Sisters,

Like many of you I am saddened to learn of new divorces and also find it disheartening that many couples find it more and more difficult to maintain monogamous relationships. As a single Brother, but happily dating, I would be devastated to learn my lady is having an affair. While these are my personal views, I have come to understand what works for me does not necessarily work for the masses. Professionally I listen to a number of challenges faced by singles and couples. In this regard I believe that many clients make personal choices at times based on immediate gratification and at other times because they want to cling to relationships that are no longer productive in many regards. Nonetheless, I don't believe these choices accurately represent the morality of the person. I believe good people can also make bad choices or perhaps choices that I should characterize as those I don't value.

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"The World Belongs to Those Who Care Deeply,
Who Dream Broadly, and Who Work Steadfastly."

AKAtude · #22 02-20-2001, 02:43 PM

It is so true that we never really know what is going in a marriage. Some folks put up a good front. I'm getting married soon and only intend to do it once. People just aren't communicating and like DST Love said no one seems to be willing to put in the effort these days. A marriage takes work.

I will share a story with y'all though. A relative of mine came home and discovered her husband had been cheating on her in their home while she working her second job on the weekends. Although they dated for five years, they had only been married two months!
Everyone in the family said it was the ultimate betrayal but we kept quiet. She tried to make things work, but he just wouldn't do right. After she decided to file for a divorce a year later, the gentleman who served as the best man at their wedding came to her and asked for forgiveness. He was feeling guilty because he knew before they got married that her husband was cheating and didn't say anything.

Now, the ex-husband realizes what he had and lost. Now, he wants to talk. Now, he is willing to do whatever it takes. Even if they managed to stay together, she could no longer trust him because in her mind she would always relive that scene in her head. Fortunately, she has moved on with her life and carries no excessive baggage from the relationship.

I'm sorry for the long post, but Bobby Earl I'm with you on this one. I would never cheat on my husband. I don't intend for my marriage to ever get to that point, but if it does I would find it very hard to stand by my man after that. It would take some serious talking, therapy, couseling, reflecting, whatever to get through it.

DST Love · #23 02-20-2001, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor:
Nonetheless, I don't believe these choices accurately represent the morality of the person. I believe good people can also make bad choices or perhaps choices that I should characterize as those I don't value.

Well, that's true to an extent. However, making a bad decision is one thing but when one continues to do that thing and justify it at that, to me, it is no longer a bad decision, but it becomes a lifestyle choice. And most importantly, it becomes an indication of one's character, values and beliefs. And that's my opinion.

[This message has been edited by DST Love (edited February 20, 2001).]

AKA2D '91 · #24 02-20-2001, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKAtude:
I will share a story with y'all though. A relative of mine came home and discovered her husband had been cheating on her in their home while she working her second job on the weekends

Soror, I sure hope his azz had 3 dayum jobs if she was working 2...

That was the FIRST mistake!

I guess he didn't since he had ole girl up in their place!

Convinced · #25 02-20-2001, 05:25 PM

I try to keep up with the celeb gossip, and I heard that Patti left her hubby for Keith Sweat.

AKA2D '91 · #26 02-20-2001, 05:30 PM

you have GOT TO BE kidding!

Crimson Tide4: Ya got that right!

AKAtude · #27 02-20-2001, 05:33 PM

Keith Sweat?!?!?! I'm ROTFL!

Bobby Earl · #28 02-20-2001, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Convinced:
I try to keep up with the celeb gossip, and I heard that Patti left her hubby for Keith Sweat.

I guess Keith must have put that beggin a$$ voice on her combined with a good ol' pelvic

move that only Keith can do so well.

I asked Keith about Patti and he told me " I wanna".

ManndingoNUPE · #29 02-20-2001, 05:57 PM

Keith BAAaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh Sweat? Well I heard something different. I heard that she found out that her husband ah started playing on the other team.

He didn't like to play with the catchers mit anymore, he traded it in for a "bat & ball". If you get my drift.

MN

AKA2D '91 · #30 02-20-2001, 06:00 PM

awwwwwwwwwww nawwwwwww, say it ain't so!

he's tutti fruitti?