Tight Curls or Silky Straight???

[Synamynn]

Hello to all,
I want to start off by saying that I had no idea that perms may be able to have such severe side effects! Like most of you, I have considered/tried going natural. This past fall semester I was in a play called Black Hair 101: Doin' the Do, and it was directed by an African American woman professor. Amongst the cast were many different women with many different hair styles. There were weaves, perms, naturals, fades, dreds, braids and ect. The play explored not how but why african american women do their hair the way they do.

I won't deny that to some degree the social norm for us to straighten our hair has not influenced my decision to continue perming my hair. African American women perm their hair to be straight and White women perm their hair to be curly, so in my opinion its kinda like we imitate each other. My hair grows fast so I have to get perms every 4 weeks, but one time I let it grow out for about 8 weeks. During this time I discovered that I simply did not have the patience to wait for my hair to grow out, so I got a perm. My hair is healty and overall I haven't had many damage problems as a result of my perm. I will admit however, that the slimmy scalp concerns me !

I guess the point that I am trying to make is that just like the clothes I wear, my hair is a medium of expression for me. The main reason I perm my hair, and why many other women perm their hair, is for versatility. My perm allows me to achieve many different looks and styles to reflect my individuality. I do understand that to different women hair means different things. But to me thats what it means.

Synamynn
"To get something you've never gotten, do something you've never done!"

[meeks]

i hate my curls....i get flat irons alot and never perm my hair. going natural for me is wearing my hair curly instead of straight. BUT ALAS!! i have found my hubby Paul Mitchell...(sorry pop, you know i luv you!) i'm sorry but i got that "WG hair" so i gotta use those WG products. but ever since i started using his setting lotion while blowdrying, it has "relaxed my curls a SIGNIFICANT amount...

anyway i just thought i'd give my hairstylist a quick plug. he des my hair better than any female could. lol http://www.metropolitanhair.com/jiggie.htm

Little32 you might find some ideas on there


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The truly educated never graduate!

[This message has been edited by meeks (edited January 24, 2001).]

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by Poplife:

I wonder what avid perm wearers would do if relaxers were pulled from shelves. Do you think there would be an underground perming ring?

Well, I would go back to the "hot" comb!
Cause this sistagirl, is NOT about to sport a "bush"...lol

[misskriss01]

Thank you all! Your replies have really helped me develop a very interesting story for my class.

Personally, for easy maintenance, I choose to relax my hair. My hair is VERY coarse and even I went natural, I would have to use some kind of texturizer to be able to put a comb through it.

I've considered going natural but I just can't see it for myself. But I respect sisters who can do it.

Thanks again for helping me out!!! I appreciate it.

[serenity_24]

Around my senior year in high school, one of my good friends cut off all her hair. The reasoning behind her move brought up a big discussion amoung our circle of friends. As we began to do more and more self evaluation, one by one we all found ourselves making the change.

The biggest question pondered was why we got our hair permed in the first place? Although each of us had different answers, only one conclusion could be made...We were ashamed. Then we thought about the source of that shame and figured why be ashamed of the way our hair grows from our scalps. "They" are not ashamed of how "theirs" grows. And why be facinated with how long your hair grows, it's genetically determined anyway. ( It's so funny to hear some people say they cant get their hair to grow past a certain point. That's because genetically that is you stopping point. But I digress...) So in an effort to take back power that we felt was stolen from us moe than four hundred years ago, we got rid of the perm.

I felt a difference in my spirit almost immediately. It gave me a certain assertiveness that was not there when I claimed "their" ignorance.

In the seven years since my decision, I haven't regreted it once. I feel like I've gotten to know a side of myself that I don't think I ever would have known otherwise.

Today, I feel like whatever I do to my hair is not rooted in the legacy of slavery. I can wear twists, after-twists, a big blown out Angela Davis, the afro puff, or I can get it pressed. But whatever I do it's because I want to not because I'm ashamed and I feel I have to.

The rest of Y'all are on your own (meaning I have other things to think about than whos doing what to their hair and why). I don't judge anyone for what they look like. As long as you are comfortable with who you are, I'm comfortable with you. Besides, when my hair is pressed I'm not going to be walking around with a banner saying "IT'S NOT A PERM. REALLY. IT'S NOT."

[Poplife]

Get out of my head, Serenity.

You sound a lot like me. People cannot believe my press is NOT a perm. I rarely wear my hair straight anymore (can't remember the last the time I did), but it's all good. I like fact that I CAN have my hair blowing in the wind if I want to. *lol* I don't choose to because 1.) I just don't like that look anymore and 2.) The idea of wearing my hair straight makes me think about how overly-sensitive black women are about their natural hair. It's like they are ashamed of it. I don't want to play into that.

The "versatility" reason has always interested me because I see it a different way. I can wear all the styles that I could when I was perming and PLUS all the hot new natural styles that won't work with straight hair. To me that's versatility.

This year I came to the conclusion that perms are a trap. Not just physically, but mentally. Think about it:

1.) Perms are designed to break down the keratins in your hair making it weak. Women like to think that because their hair doesn't break off when you perm that it is healthy. But when your natural hair (the truly healthy hair) grows in, the permed part starts to break off. Why? The natural part is A LOT stronger then the broken down compounds in the permed hair. As a result permed hair cannot "stand up" to natural hair and falls off. That's why you see breakage when you miss a touch-up. They think that's what it will be like if they stop perming so they get scared and get more chemicals. That's the ROOT of the problem (pun intended).


2.) Some women go a month or two without perming and try and judge their "natural" hair by what's sitting at the roots. They think that it was they will be working with should they stop perming. It's not that easy people! Your hair texture WILL CHANGE over time. My hair was DREADFUL when it was just an inch at my scalp, but luckily I was patient enough to let it grow. Now it's baby soft around the edges/root while the length grows in a spiral pattern. How do you know that natural hair "would work" unless you tried. And I mean REALLY tried; tried to learn how to treat your hair like it is supposed to be treated...


3.) Why in the world would a black women need the courage to go natural? If one more person comes up to me and says that I will scream. I have never seen a white girl say that she is scared to grow out HER perm. It's embedded in many women's minds that they will look ugly in afros, bushes, locs, twists, dreads, or natural curls. That is why we always hear "It looks good on some people, but not on me."


4.) The issue: with not being able to get a comb through it. Most combs are made straight hair, not for kinky black hair. Besides, you can't treat natural hair as you would permed hair. It's totally different, but most people don't realize that. They try to go about their hair care routine as if they were permed. Sorry, that's impossible.

[Classy_Diva5]

misskriss01: there was really NO method that I used-Nov.'99, I decided that I wanted to grow my relaxer out, so I go to the shop twice a month. My stylist gives a shampoo, deep condition, virgin olive oil hot oil treatment, cuts between 1/4 to an inch of hair off, and then if I want to wear it silky straight, she flat-irons my hair and dry-wraps it (wraps the hair around my head and then place me under the dryer for about 15-20 minutes). I comb it down, and I'm good to go for about 2-3 weeks.

Poplife-I am in the same boat as your grandmother. Since learning that relaxers aren't tested by the FDA (because relaxers/products generate so much $$$ in sales, I am pretty sure that they will NEVER be tested because if there are harmful effects, they may have to be pulled from the beauty supply stores), I will never put that stuff on my hair again. Also, thanks for giving the link on your most recent post.

naturalbeauty08-I feel you 100% on the change to going natural . The first month of going relaxer-free, I knew that people would question why I chose to go that route. When I had my relaxer, I would always hear "Your hair is soooo pretty"-now when i wear my hair straight, people CANNOT believe that I don't have a relaxer-it's like they think that you have to have one to have "pretty" hair. As long as you take proper care of your hair once you decide to go natural, you can achieve the same look that you had as when you had a relaxer.


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"Mind ya own, stay true to ya own, be ya own."
Peace and God Bless
Classy_Diva5

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by Poplife:

3.) Why in the world would a black women need the courage to go natural? If one more person comes up to me and says that I will scream. I have never seen a white girl say that she is scared to grow out HER perm. It's embedded in many women's minds that they will look ugly in afros, bushes, locs, twists, dreads, or natural curls. That is why we always hear "It looks good on some people, but not on me."

I guess that is supposed to be directed to me...
Anyway, I did not sport a bush in the 70's, my hair was wayyyyyy too long! And I am NOT going to sport a bush in the year 2K1!

I am not afraid, I just do not want to, and I will not.

Now, if it floats your boat, cool!

You have your hair care ideas, I have mine and so does the next person...

[Poplife]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:

I guess that is supposed to be directed to me...

Nope. That's what I always say. Would have said it regardless of what you said.

F.Y.I. All four of my "ideas" are FACT. You can read any natural hair care book and it will tell you the same thing.

[1 Woman of Virtue]

I decided to kill the perm that was killing my hair and body my sophomore year of college. Why? well I was watching some little girls, I can't remember who they were, but they were black and were playing house. While they were playing, they put slips and blankets on their head to cover up their own hair. They were playing like they had long straight hair.
Now I used to do the same thing, but it REALLY bothered me. Most people in my family are natural so I was the one "holding it down" for the permed heads. But then I thought about my daughter (future, hypothetical daughter) and asked myself how I would feel if she asked me about straightening her hair...

Here I was this "pro-black freedom fighter", but I realized at that moment that I had an issue: at that time, I could not see myself as beautiful, the way God made me. Now I do NOT have self esteem issues (unless too much esteem is a problem . so for me to realize that the very CONCEPT of me being beautiful the way I was created was something I had issue with, REALLY upset me. After a few months of going back and forth, I finally realized that this s*&^ had to go. And I have been perm free ever since.
Now, admittedly, I could be a pro-black freedom fighter w/ a perm; conversely, NOT having a perm in no way assures one of being "conscious". But for me, it was very hypocritical to uphold the idea that "Black is beautiful" when I didn't truly KNOW for myself that it was or even could be.
Going natural has been a very spiritual experience for me as well. Simple things like, I LOVE standing in the shower, washing my hair and feeling it exploding all over my head--that may sound odd to some, but I'm trying to explain a feeling here, and that is difficult.
There were no other natural heads at my school when I made the switch; at least if there were, I didn't see them (I went to school in central Pennsylvania, black population was small, so I expect that I would have known them! ) and that was hard. I really wish I'd had this thread when I first started.
And you're right, they aren't testing, or planning to test perms...and they really should. I do know that women are advised to leave the perm alone during pregnancy...which in a way begs some questions: if it's harmful to the baby for you to perm during pregnancy, wouldn't it still harmful for you to breast feed while perming? or better yet, if it's harmful to babies, at what age is it no longer harmful? seven? eight? 20 something? ever?
Now I'm on a roll . If we know that perm chemicals can harm us physically, is it really a stretch to wonder how it impedes our mental capacity, ability (it does go on our heads afterall)? If you didn't know whether or not a box of cereal contained chemicals that cause life long negative effects on your daughter or not, would you still let her eat it in the morning on her way to school? Just something to think about.

[This message has been edited by 1 Woman of Virtue (edited January 25, 2001).]

[Eclipse]

Originally posted by Poplife:

2.) Some women go a month or two without perming and try and judge their "natural" hair by what's sitting at the roots. They think that it was they will be working with should they stop perming. It's not that easy people! Your hair texture WILL CHANGE over time. My hair was DREADFUL when it was just an inch at my scalp, but luckily I was patient enough to let it grow. Now it's baby soft around the edges/root while the length grows in a spiral pattern. How do you know that natural hair "would work" unless you tried. And I mean REALLY tried; tried to learn how to treat your hair like it is supposed to be treated...

A couple of questions for you Poplife.. What do you mean your hair was DREADFUL when you first started to grow it out? What if it didn't end up "baby soft around the edges" and in spiral patterns at the ends? What if you had those little be-be shots that we used to tease boys about in the 2 - 3 grade (usually because they didn't comb their hair.) Would you be as proud to be nappy then? Would you still give folks who perm a hard time? Is a texturizer more "BSC" (Black socially correct--my new made up term) than a perm or does it not make a difference cause it's all chemical? What about a blow out kit? Is that o.k.?

[allsmiles_22]

Now, I'm not about to "justify" why I relax my hair. But in response to the question, I do it for convience, versatility, and most importantly BECAUSE I WANT TO. It's my hair and I'll do what I want with it. I know that my hair will look good naturally, but my hair looks TIGHT in the silky straight hairstyle I've got now.

I've seen a lot of women on this board and not just for this question "justify" what they choose to do. More specifically those who went natural. I don't believe that anyone-natural/not natural, should have to defend their actions or QUESTION why others do what they do.

If you are truly happy with YOURSELF and your decisions then what others say to you shouldn't bother you-no need in "justifying" yourself. Moreover, if you do something that someone else doesn't do, why worry about what they are doing, feeling, or acting and then try to inform them of what they are doing so that they change their perspective? We are all educated (hopefully) people here and we EACH know what we are doing. If it isn't YOUR hair then don't be concerned.

[allsmiles_22]

Originally posted by Eclipse:

A couple of questions for you Poplife.. What if it didn't end up "baby soft around the edges" and in spiral patterns at the ends? What if you had those little be-be shots that we used to tease boys about in the 2 - 3 grade (usually because they didn't comb their hair.)

Now ain't that the T-Ruth. LOL

Because everybody doesn't have that "indian" in their family. Hence, they get a relaxer.

[Poplife]

Good Questions, Eclipse.

When I say "dreadful", that's in the literal sense. My natural hair would coil itself in the same way that dreadlocks do. It made it very hard for me to manage my hair because I had two drastically different textures on a single strand.

My original plan was to loc my hair as soon as I grew enough. If I didn't have the softness and the curl I would have gone ahead with the locing. But I liked my hair so much "untamed" that I decided to let it be. I might loc it later on in life, but right now I am enjoying the versatility of wearing twists, afro puffs, fluffy ponytails, and the like.

As for the be-be's (or buckshots as we say down here), why would I be ashamed of that? Do YOU have those when you don't touch up, and are YOU ashamed?? Do you think the only people that can be proud of their natural hair are people that have some curl like me? That's the vibe your giving me. Shoot, naps are a natural part of being black. Besides, I don't have what some call "good hair". It's pretty, but it's rough! It's brittle in the back, soft at the roots and in the front, and curly on the ends. I'm just so used to it that the idea doesn't phase me. Like you said, buckshots only happen when you don't comb your hair. I don't know what notions you might have of natural headed people, but most of us are meticulous groomers. I wash my hair 5 times a week (minimum) and every night I moisturize, comb, twist, and wrap. All of my natural friends have similar grooming habits.

You might feel that I am trying to give permed people a hard time, but that is not my intent. I just want people to question themselves and their reasoning. Like I was telling someone before, it's not fun but it's helpful in the long run.

I don't like chemicals period. I believe them to be toxic for the black women's body as well as her spirit. Occasionally I feel like wearing the “loose curl look”. I just grab some CD hair milk, slap it on after a shower, and roll out. BAM! Instant natural texturizer. There’s nothing wrong with experimenting. But I consider a texturizer one of my “traps” since you go through the same things with a full relaxer.

What's a blow-out kit?

[Poplife]

Originally posted by allsmiles_22:
Because everybody doesn't have that "indian" in their family. Hence, they get a relaxer.

That goes back to what I asked Eclipse.

Why is the only "acceptable" natural hair, white girl curly/bi-racial natural?

My hair is still "black hair". It's funny that people hear "curly" and automaticly think of silky, bouncy, pantene pro-v curls. Ain't nothing silky on this head! I got an afro...it's just curly. *lol*

Too bad I'm a "hopeful" because I'd show you some pictures.