Suicide

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
I've always been taught that you are given no more than what you can bear. And of course I think it's a selfish act.

First of all, the only reason people become depressed is because they become self-absorbed in their own problems. They only think about themselves. A form of conceit.

I'm sorry, but this comment really angered me. Depression IS A MENTAL ILLNESS. It is a disease. Yeah, there are some people who have a bad day, or a bad couple of days. But there is a difference between being upset and suffering from depression.

DO NOT call me self absorbed because I suffer from depression. You don't know anything about me. And it has nothing to do with my issues. I suffer from a chemical imbalance. So DO NOT call AlphaSigLana selfish and self absobred when you have no idea what her disease and her problems are.

AlphaSigLana, some very good advice has been given to you. Please, please, please see a professional about this. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things can get better, you just need to find the right kind of help. Please keep searching, it is out there.

Take care of yourself.

[DigitalAngel126]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I'm sorry, but this comment really angered me. Depression IS A MENTAL ILLNESS. It is a disease. Yeah, there are some people who have a bad day, or a bad couple of days. But there is a difference between being upset and suffering from depression.

DO NOT call me self absorbed because I suffer from depression. You don't know anything about me. And it has nothing to do with my issues. I suffer from a chemical imbalance. So DO NOT call AlphaSigLana selfish and self absobred when you have no idea what her disease and her problems are.

AlphaSigLana, some very good advice has been given to you. Please, please, please see a professional about this. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things can get better, you just need to find the right kind of help. Please keep searching, it is out there.

Take care of yourself.

Amen!! Bravo!! Everything I wanted to say, only nicer.

[AlphaSigLana]

I figured I'd better reply before someone thought I already killed myself.
To answer some questions
1) I have only been on anti-depressants for 5 days so obviously it will take some time before they kick in.
2) I do see a counselor and since I was feeling very suicidal I went to the counseling center and asked to see my counselor. I have signed a no suicide contract. I will see my counselor again Wed.
3) I don't blame my ex for these feelings of unhappiness bc I have felt like this for years. But for some reason I have been super upset over this break up and I feel like a psychotic person. It really hurts me that he told me he was not interested in dating anyone and then he started dating someone right after dumping me, who works at the gas station he always goes to. It hurts knowing that he probably met her while dating me bc he always stopped to get a Mountain dew at the gas station before coming to see me. I am sick of guys dumping me. I have had one friend each month this year get engaged/promised. This only depresses me more because my whole life my dream was to get married young and start having kids around age 25/26. I didn't want to have kids right when I got married. I also wanted to be a young mom. Anyway I've pretty much repeated that in many threads and I know that I'm young blah blah. I have never been the dumper always the dumpee. I am constantly rejected. Yes I know that there are people with worse lives than me but that makes me feel worse for feeling the way I do. I never have been happy and I truly would like to die, BUT I know that everytime I want to I get indecisive bc I can never go back once I do it. I truly regret the day I was born. Perhaps I should not have shared this online.
I also wanted to say thank you for all of you who PM me. I do appreciate it.

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by AlphaSigLana
Perhaps I should not have shared this online.

I am sorry you feel this way. Now you have an online support system. There are folks on here who will give you friendship and advice.

Be strong and keep talking about your problems. Have you talked to your parents? (Sorry did not read all of your post). Also talk to your CLOSE sorority sisters.

[DeltaSig]

Listen, I know things can get rough and sometimes it feels like problems and dispair are snowballing out of contro. Don't think your better off dead. Here is some advice. On a beautiful day go walk around outside in a park and just keep walking I'm serious. Just let yourself release all of your tension. One time I got really stressed and starting walking around downtown san antonio and like 2 hours later I ended up in some residential area it was crazy. It sucked because I had to walk 2 hours back downtown to pick up my car. needless to say I got the demons out.

[Jadey28]

Wow, this is a tough topic....

Suicide is not the answer. Take how you are feeling about your breakup and multiply that by one million and you now have how your friends and family would feel if something happened to you. You wouldn't want to put any undeserved pain on your family for such an awful mistake, would you?

You are a good person. People love you for who you are. Who cares if you are always the dumpee and not the dumper?!? These guys just don't know what they are missing out on. I noticed that you are roughly around my age....it takes time, especially while in college, to find a mature boyfriend who is ready for what you appear to be ready for. So many of my friends have recently been engaged also. But you know what? These are the same girls that won't go anywhere without their boyfriends and they are missing out on so much of their college experience because of their decisions. I think that they are going to regret their choices, and probably won't make it the wedding date because they will realize the mistake they have made. Basically, don't worry about other people getting engaged...your time will come and you will be ready.

Give your medicine a little time to kick in. I hope it works for you and I hope you try to look at the brighter side of life.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Lana, I am so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time.

I think that you are definitely on the right track. A therapist can definitely help you learn some coping techniques. Before you know it, you won't be coping. You will be living and enjoying your life. Tragedies, challenges, and difficulties enter everyone's life. You will learn how to move through these times. It sometimes takes one month before the medication will kick in and work. Try to be patient and give it time.

I have a friend who suffered from depression for many years. She took her medication and saw a therapist regularly. She ate well, exercised, got enough sleep, and took better care of herself. She began to recover from her deoression. She has gotten married and is a mother now. These things happened for her when she was well and ready for them. The same thing can happen for you.

I wish you good mental health.

[Kevin]

Sounds pretty bleak right now. I can tell you that years ago I guess you could have called me depressed.

I didn't like a damned thing about my life at the time. But you know what?

It got better. What helped me was to rationalize what I was feeling, to say that I'm going to live many many more years and experience all kinds of emotional peaks and vallies. This was just a low point.

And it WILL get better. That's the thing. Do whatever it takes to help get your emotional self back on track and live life! Good things will have a way of falling in your lap. If they don't, make them happen!

[dzandiloo]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I'm sorry, but this comment really angered me. Depression IS A MENTAL ILLNESS. It is a disease. Yeah, there are some people who have a bad day, or a bad couple of days. But there is a difference between being upset and suffering from depression.

DO NOT call me self absorbed because I suffer from depression. You don't know anything about me. And it has nothing to do with my issues. I suffer from a chemical imbalance. So DO NOT call AlphaSigLana selfish and self absobred when you have no idea what her disease and her problems are.

Amen, Lady Pi Phi. I had to read that post several times to make sure I read right.

My mother was bi-polar (formerly known as manic-depressive). When I was 7, she attempted suicide, but fortunately, she was unsuccessful. This was before the "miracle" of lithium was widely known-fortunately, before she died of other causes, she did discover lithium, and led a relatively normal-happy life. I will tell you my mom was devoted to my siblings & I, and she was a wonderful teacher. BUT she had a chemical imbalance that had absolutely nothing to do with her being self absorbed.

Bi-polar Disorder has been shown to be hereditary. My husband is aware of my family history & I have asked him to help me recognize it if I ever develop symptoms, and we are also on the lookout for our children's behavior. So far, so good.

Attitudes and comments like that "First of all, the only reason people become depressed is because they become self-absorbed in their own problems. They only think about themselves. A form of conceit." are just a reflection of how far we have to go in educating the general public about mental illness as an ILLNESS. People suffering from them should seek help. But they should not be ridiculed/stigmatized/berated/discriminated against for having a disease that they have absolutely no control over.

Lana-I won't repeat what everyone else has said. Of course I hope you get the help you need, but maybe this thread will help to educate some people who have no idea what you & others are going through.

[pinkyphimu]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate

First of all, the only reason people become depressed is because they become self-absorbed in their own problems. They only think about themselves. A form of conceit. If they took the time to look in their neighborhoods at mentally challenged people who can't think for themselves or at people who are on their death beds from cancers eatting away at their flesh until it is rotting and smells and yet, they still manage a weak smile or joke about the pain. . .then, they would see that a problem such as weight, bullies, and a gangly appearance all fades with time and effort.

ok....i am extremely angered with this statement. first of all, there are several differences between teenage- angst and depression. everyone suffers from teen angst. they hate their
parents, clothes, school, etc. etc. most of us deal with that for a year or two (or more) and come out ok at the end. people with depression have a chemical imbalance that THEY CAN NOT CONTROL!!! would you tell a person who was diagnosed with cancer that they were conceited.....i think not! mental illnesses are REAL and they affect more people than you probably know!!! statements like this are why people HIDE their mental illnesses bc they are treated like they are doing something wrong or that they should be ashamed of themselves. would you tell a person in a wheel chair that they should get a grip on things and get over it!!! physical disabilities are viewed so differently than mental disabilities.

people can live with clinical depression for many years without treatment and then an incident (like a break up or a job loss, etc.) occur and they fall completely apart. unfortunately, their brain does not give them the amount of chemicals it needs so that
they know things will be ok!

now, on to looking at other people who have problems (like the people who are mentally challenged) well, honestly, i work with children and adults with severe autism, mental retardation and behavior disorders. most of them also have many medical problems to top it all off....but they don't know what they are missing. they have no concept of what other 20somethings are doing bc they still can't control their own bladders. (note: i am
not saying this is the same for every person with mental retardation/ autism, just the group of students that i work with/ have worked with). the adolescents i worked with
didn't know they were too fat or not pretty enough to get the captain of the football team to ask them out bc they were too busy watching the little mermaid and mulan. now, i love these guys and they have given me so much more than i can ever explain, but they have an abnormal brain function.....hmmmm, just like people with depression.....just in a different degree.

so before you open your mouth and say things like that, think for a second about whether or not it is an appropriate thing to say to someone who just said they wanted to commit suicide!! instead of criticizing someone in need, take a look around your neighborhood and find someone to help!

oh, and i just have to say as the special educator.....always think people first....a person who is mentally challenged...a person with autism. first and foremost, they are people....then they have a disability.

[Hootie]

YES!

And here's a story why!

About 3 or 4 years ago my father had a coworker that decided to take his own life, leaving his wife, daughter and son to live with the pain of his loss. And this loss was not a normal loss...it's a HAUNTING LOSS. One that makes you wonder what was so bad that it was worth ending your life over.

Well then about a year ago this month, the mother of that family decided to commit suicide. The worst part was she did it on the night of her daughter's prom. So her daughter returned from prom to find her mother hung in the basement. Now THINK...THINK THINK THINK about what sort of IMPACT that had on those two children who are now PARENTLESS!!!!! How dramatic that would be to go through TWO suicides! It's just so gut-renchingly SAD. It breaks my heart to think about it. These two high school children will now have to go through the rest of their lives without their parents...and why? BECAUSE THEY WERE SELFISH! They did not have the intrest of their childern or each other in mind.

If you're sad, depressed or contemplating suicide remember this story and the impact it would have on your family and friends. It's not the answer. It's a perminant solution to a temporary problem.

I hope anyone who reads this understands and seeks help immediately!

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate

First of all, the only reason people become depressed is because they become self-absorbed in their own problems. They only think about themselves. A form of conceit.

If that doesn't work, then maybe you need to believe in a higher being. . .because that's the only other thing that will help.

Like most people here, I believe suicide is a selfish act done for unselfish reasons. There are people out there who truly believe that their loved ones would be better without the burden of their existence.

But, to say that depression is a result of self-absorbtion is one of the most miseducated and ignorant comments I have heard on GC about a serious topic. People do suffer from chemical inbalances...ever heard of serotonin? It's a chemical that comes in natural ebbs and flows--and some people stop producing it for a time, for whatever reason--and that is what sometimes causes depression. NOT SELFISHNESS! If depression were something you could snap out of and pray your way out of, there would be no need for Paxil/Zoloft/Prozac/Sarafem/what have you. What you described is TEEN ANGST, which does not equal depression. I'm not depressed, but I have many friends who are, and some of them are the LEAST selfish people I have ever met. They would do anything for their friends; but for whatever reason, their neurochemistry isn't exactly on their sides.

Oh yeah, I don't believe in a God. Does that mean I'm doomed to depression because I couldn't pray my way out of my self-absorbtion? Nope...I have a support system of friends and family, as well as a therapist I can go to when things get really bad.

THAT attitude about mental illness is why there's such a stigma against it, especially in communities of color.

Lana, from all the posts, it's obvious that you have a support system, and things will be okay--you have a whole gaggle of GCers on your side.

[James]

Ok people, lets not jump all over white_chocolate for stating her beliefs in an open public forum.

stating her opinion is absolutely appropriate. Even if you diagree strongly.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
First of all, the only reason people become depressed is because they become self-absorbed in their own problems. They only think about themselves. A form of conceit. If they took the time to look in their neighborhoods at mentally challenged people who can't think for themselves or at people who are on their death beds from cancers eatting away at their flesh until it is rotting and smells and yet, they still manage a weak smile or joke about the pain. . .then, they would see that a problem such as weight, bullies, and a gangly appearance all fades with time and effort.

James, the thing is, it doesn't sound like she's expressing an opinion. It sounds more like a statement of fact, and as such, it is an incorrect statement. If I said, for example, that the sky is green, I'd expect someone to call me on it because it's incorrect. Likewise, the statement above is incorrect. Depression is caused, as many have mentioned, by a chemical imbalance in the brain.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Depression is not caused by people being self-absorbed. That is a result. Depression can cause people to become hyper focused on their problems and those problems can take over their lives.

If you have lived with or known someone who is depressed, it might however seem the way that white_chocolate described. When my friend was depressed, people told her to snap out of it. This was not possible. It's like telling someone with a physical disease to snap out of it. She did get therapy and medication and is living a fulfilling life.

This is why someone suffering from depression needs to go to a qualified doctor or therapist for help. As well meaning as everyone is here including white_chocolate, they are not always accurate.