Bullying/Namecalling - Unneeded abuse or rite of passage?

[Dionysus]

I copied and pasted the origional post from another messageboard. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...hreadid=145119 I can understand the confusion. I'll try to translate what that person was trying to ask. The origional post has been edited to clear up any confusion.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by cash78mere


preparing one for adulthood and being a deterrant to learning are not opposites and shouldn't be compared directly.

how could it be preparing one for adulthood? do you get teased daily as a part of adulthood??? that makes no sense!!

people, especially kids, typically become more sensitive to the aspect of their body that gets teased. that causes inferiority, not strength. you may become more witty or thick-skinned to DEAL with the teasing, but it doesn't make you an adult.

Wel I guess I reacted differently then. I don't like that you're making such broad generalizations about everyone.

People will always react differently to different stimuli. It has to deal with the way you're wired. You may not get teased as an adult but I'll guarantee you -- at some point in your life you'll have someone else making jokes at your expense, belittling you in front of friends and colleagues or being otherwise verbally or physically abusive.

It happens. It's just that people I don't think always handle it well. There are ways of rationalizing what others say. I really don't think that it is universally harmful. For some perhaps, but not all.

[justamom]

Ah, ZTAMiami , it's something I learned from my Grandpa-try to find a way to talk about things rather than beat the living daylights out of the little ones. He was a GREAT man! I did get it right SOMEtimes... Helped balance out al the boo-boos I made.

ktsnake I THINK I have a feel for your meaning and on some level I agree. You can't go through life thinking everything will be roses and everyone will love you. It's just that it's too fine a line for me to discern. If parents and extended family do their jobs (encourage, pave and help build confidence), cousins and siblings usually fill in the gaps for any "reality" check a child might need. Even then, kids in the family must be kept in check as they can be UNMERCIFUL!

It seems the "healthier" child is one who has confidence to PUSH their limits, accept defeat, then try again.

The teacher who said I couldn't be in Belles and Beaus because I didn't appear to want it enough and didn't even try, made me so mad and "hurt" that I worked my tail off to prove him wrong and made Madrigals the next year. The teacher who basically teased me about being "boy crazy" in class shut me down so I just made my daily appearance in algebra. A shot of constructive criticism did far more for ME than the teasing I endured as a result of my TEACHER'S comment.

As a side note, at MY age, I can recall most of those "mean" things that were said to me yet I can't remember too much of the nice things I KNOW were said. Did it make me a better person?
Maybe a more sensitive person. But-Why do I read things into what people say, why do I get defensive and why am I not better friends with women outside a very, VERY small circle? BECAUSE I'M BOY CRAZY!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING YOU GUYS!