Who do you talk to if you feel like you might need to drop?

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by HappyMom2

Can you defer sorority membership after you have been through rush and accepted a bid? She is going to call us tonight after she finishes some of her homework to talk about all of this. She really was getting excited about her sorority after step show auditions, so I hate to see her give it up, especially if this is just an unusually busy week with the sorority.

Probably NOT a good idea, mom.

Sounds like your daughter may need to develop time management and independence skills.

Maybe she needs to drop calculus.

[Titchou]

She should really talk with the New Member officer OR the Chapter Adviser or Exec/Honor/Standards board---some things can be excused for tests, papers,etc. She probably hasn't gotten to the chapter's standing rules in her training yet so she would not know the process. They all have an excuse process and she needs to ferret that out.

[33girl]

Big/little reveal and sisterhood retreat are only going to happen once during pledging. It just sounds like this is a very action packed week.

[DubaiSis]

These events are not 12 hours long. She can do more than one thing in a day. One of my sisters who was an excellent student said she only did homework during daylight. Presuming she is in class 3 hours per day and the sun is up between 7 AM and 6PM, that leaves 8 hours per day to handle school. Even cutting that in half is plenty of time for school work. And Saturday and Sunday she will have no class work to interfere with that. And trust me on this, need something done, ask someone who is busy.

She may have to forego TV, the internet, dating, the gym and/or sleep but she can squeeze it all in. It's all about priorities. And figuring it out. Fast.

[*winter*]

As for calculus, having tutoring really helped me. It narrowed down my focus and helped me save a lot of time trying to explain it to myself while studying, if that makes sense. The school provided ours for free and she was excellent.

[AZTheta]

Some NPC sororities may have no spelled out or specific requirement for the number of hours any member has to take to be an active.

True story: once upon a time, at least two actives in an NPC sorority (not saying which one so don't assume it's mine, you guys know I have a lot of NPC friends) dropped all but one class. And remained active. But not for long. Because you still have to make grades with one class, you know. And when you do that for a couple of semesters, while you're partying and generally out of control, things catch up with you. And things caught up with both of them. From both the University and their NPC sorority.

Too bad so sad.

[NYCMS]

Like others here, I highly recommend that your daughter does not drop out - I think that would be a decision she would later regret. I'm not an expert but I've not heard of a sorority that allowed "deferred membership".

Time to cut back on what's not required (dance thing), get a tutor and learn time management. Many girls struggle their first semester, even those without such demanding classes as calculus.

And not sure re-rushing as a sophomore would be successful, especially if she's at a Greek intensive school. Plus some sororities have a "once cut, always cut" policy so she'd be automatically cut by any houses that cut her the first time she went through rush.

[HappyMom2]

Thanks everyone. I only asked about deferring membership because someone in one of the responses recommended it. I hadn't heard of that before, but hoped that was an option. She is very independent and good at time management, but if the time isn't there, it isn't. She can only study at night and on the weekend due to her job during the day. And the weekends so far have been busy with sorority activities. I don't want to see her have to give it up, but she is there to get a degree and hopefully get into a good graduate program. Yes, she can give up step show and maybe that will help. I hope so!

[PhilTau]

Originally Posted by HappyMom2

I don't want to see her have to give it up, but she is there to get a degree and hopefully get into a good graduate program.

I think I may be the one that mentioned deferring - assuming your daughter attends a school with a more laid-back Greek system where she could just drop and join later. I thought it was something worth mentioning.

"[H]opefully get into a good graduate program." And again, we don't know exactly what you mean by this. Does she aspire to get into a PhD/fellowship program at a major university? Or get an MBA at Anywhere U? If her goal is closer to the former, to be competitive, most people with such a goal must sacrifice any outside activity that interferes with either their grades or their ability spend the time to ingratiate themselves with the professors in their major. Undergraduate grades are everything -- everyone competing for such academic opportunities has them. If they don't have them, they simply do not compete.

I do not wish to see your daughter give up her sorority and hope that she does not. Nevertheless, one of the biggest hurdles people encounter early in college is the fact they are held to adult standards that, from a purely academic standpoint, are very unforgiving and, in some instances, life altering.