Advice to men.......... - Page 2

Kisha · #16 09-03-2002, 09:26 AM

1. Saying I'm sorry will not convince us to take your triflin' @$$ back!
2. Shedding tears will not convince us to take your triflin' @$$ back!

Hootie · #17 09-06-2002, 01:40 AM

1) Don't lie to me cuz I will only find out and if you feel the need to lie you'd better make sure I CAN'T find out...uhum...so don't go charging anything to that joint checking account I can check (some guys are LAME!)

2) Just because you have won me over don't think that you don't need to continue. Cards, candy, flowers, foot massages are all wonderful surprises us ladies like, and NEED to feel appreciated. (other thoughtful things will do too).

CrimsonTide4 · #18 09-06-2002, 05:34 AM

Call more.

Be spontaneous.

Foreplay is a must and not 2 minutes of it either.

Don't act like you are not hurt but then YOU keep bringing up the incident.

DON'T LIE TO ME EEEEEEEEEEVAAAAAAAAAA. If you do, expect to get cussed out. Expect a possible repeat anytime I remember the lie.

1savvydiva · #19 11-16-2002, 09:42 AM

DO NOT check your messages at your girl's house...if you leave the code...it is temptin as hell not to call and check on your azz.

DO NOT tell me a bold face lie...opening your eyes wide and saying "OOOOOOHH" does not make you look credible.

DO NOT tell me to ask your brother...NUCCA I ASKED YOU... and I know you are lying!

DO NOT keep callin after I told you I don't want to talk to you...

DO NOT think that if I talk to you, after I told you I didn't want too, that I want you back...Naw nucca I am just bored!

DO NOT "get yours" and then say you owe me "one". NUCCA you betta stay and finish or I will get violent!!

DO NOT ask me what I am cooking and when I tell you (chicken, spaghetti, beef stroganoff, etc.) commence to say "AGAIN"...Boy you asked me what I was cookin, I did not ask you to eat!

DO NOT call me on my cell phone, and ask what time I will be home, or if I have something planned later and when I ask why, you say you are "just asking"

DO NOT call me 5 million times daily just to say "HI", or just to "See what I am doing" when I am mad at you

DO NOT continue lying when you are caught...give it up, turn it loose...it will diffuse my anger a tad!!!

DO NOT tell me you haven't been drinking when your breath smells like Crown mixed with mint, gum, and hot wings!

DO NOT tell me, once I say I can smell the liqour on your breath, tell me you had 'a' beer.

IN ESSENCE>>>>DO NOT approach me, unless you come correct, bruh!

1savvydiva · #20 11-18-2002, 02:58 PM

My cousin had a baby the other day and her "boyfriend" and her argue ALL THE TIME...but they started arguing ON THE WAY to the hospital for her scheduled C-section...she told him to leave because she didn't want to look at him...

DO NOT leave the hospital dumbass...leave the room...this triflin' behind, stupid MOFO left the hospital...I don't care what she SAID...she is in there have YOUR baby...you curl your behind up in the waiting room and wait until your child enters the world...you don't go roam the streets!!!

abaici · #21 11-18-2002, 07:45 PM

Classes for Men

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF
THEIR CONTENTS, EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT A MAXIMUM OF 8
PARTICIPANTS.

Topic 1
HOW TO FILL THE ICE CUBE TRAYS. STEP BY STEP, WITH
SLIDE PRESENTATION.

Topic 2
THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION.

Topic 3
IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF
LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND
NEARBY BATHTUB? GROUP PRACTICE.

Topic 4
FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND
THE FLOOR. PICTURES AND EXPLANATORY GRAPHICS.

Topic 5
THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY
LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK? EXAMPLES ON
VIDEO.

Topic 6
LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE TO YOUR
SIGNIFICANT OTHER. HELPLINE SUPPORT AND SUPPORT
GROUPS.

Topic 7
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN
THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE
DOWN WHILE SCREAMING. OPEN FORUM.

Topic 8
HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO
YOUR HEALTH. GRAPHICS AND AUDIO TAPE.

Topic 9
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST. REAL LIFE
TESTIMONIALS.

Topic 10
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE
PARALLEL PARKS? DRIVING SIMULATION.

Topic 11
LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MOTHER AND
WIFE. ONLINE CLASS AND ROLE PLAYING.

Topic 12
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION. RELAXATION
EXERCISES, MEDITATION AND BREATHING TECHNIQUES.

Topic 13
HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS,
ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN
YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE. CEREBRAL SHOCK THERAPY
SESSIONS AND FULL LOBOTOMIES OFFERED.

*UPON COMPLETION OF THE COURSE DIPLOMAS WILL BE ISSUED
TO THE SURVIVORS.

Wonderful1908 · #22 11-19-2002, 12:10 AM

Please tell me where my boyfriend can sign up!

Thats cute

Quote:

Originally posted by abaici
Classes for Men

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF
THEIR CONTENTS, EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT A MAXIMUM OF 8
PARTICIPANTS.

Topic 1
HOW TO FILL THE ICE CUBE TRAYS. STEP BY STEP, WITH
SLIDE PRESENTATION.

Topic 2
THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION.

Topic 3
IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF
LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND
NEARBY BATHTUB? GROUP PRACTICE.

Topic 4
FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND
THE FLOOR. PICTURES AND EXPLANATORY GRAPHICS.

Topic 5
THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY
LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK? EXAMPLES ON
VIDEO.

Topic 6
LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE TO YOUR
SIGNIFICANT OTHER. HELPLINE SUPPORT AND SUPPORT
GROUPS.

Topic 7
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN
THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE
DOWN WHILE SCREAMING. OPEN FORUM.

Topic 8
HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO
YOUR HEALTH. GRAPHICS AND AUDIO TAPE.

Topic 9
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST. REAL LIFE
TESTIMONIALS.

Topic 10
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE
PARALLEL PARKS? DRIVING SIMULATION.

Topic 11
LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MOTHER AND
WIFE. ONLINE CLASS AND ROLE PLAYING.

Topic 12
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION. RELAXATION
EXERCISES, MEDITATION AND BREATHING TECHNIQUES.

Topic 13
HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS,
ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN
YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE. CEREBRAL SHOCK THERAPY
SESSIONS AND FULL LOBOTOMIES OFFERED.

*UPON COMPLETION OF THE COURSE DIPLOMAS WILL BE ISSUED
TO THE SURVIVORS.

BabyBlue91 · #23 11-19-2002, 12:24 PM

Don't expect us to hold our breaths waiting for you to fulfill a promise when you fudged a smaller one in the past!

evaclear04 · #24 11-19-2002, 05:17 PM

**Do not complain when I am only do the same things you do.**

evaclear04 · #25 11-19-2002, 05:23 PM

**Do not complain when I am only do the same things you do.**

thesweetestone · #26 11-19-2002, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by abaici
Classes for Men

Topic 3
IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF
LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND
NEARBY BATHTUB? GROUP PRACTICE.

Oh that sounds a little too freaky to me.

The group practice part is over the top.

Gyrl7 · #27 11-20-2002, 02:57 PM

1. Learn how to cook and cook well.

2. Learn how to eat at places other than fast food.

3. Drink some water, all my man has in his fridge is JUICE.

4. Why ask me what I want to do for the weekend if you don't want to do it with me?

5. When I am fixing your plate and tell you to say when, please say it and not after I look at you funny because there is a mountain of food on your plate.

6. Why is it that you want to be treated like a man, but when it comes down to it, we have to pick up the slack?

7. If you ask ME out to the movies, why do we wind up going dutch?

8. Why is it that you ask me what I want for Christmas if you are gonna buy me what you feel I should have and not what I asked for?

9. Why do you say you need to go on a diet in the midst of eating hot wangs and pizza?

thesweetestone · #28 11-20-2002, 06:52 PM

Don't look at me with that really intense stare that men sometimes do. That's not sexy!

If you have something to say go ahead and say it don't just stare at me like you are crazy. WTF!

9dstpm · #29 11-22-2002, 06:30 PM

This is from back in my single days:

Don't come around me, call me, ask me out when the woman you REALLY wanted to be with is not available. I am NOBODY'S sloppy seconds!!

Now the one for my married days:

If the Cleaning Fairy hits you, PLEASE LEAVE MY STUFF ALONE!!!! I cannot stand it when you have your cleaning hissy fits and just move all of my stuff around too and I can't find it!! And stop doing it when I'm not home!!!

ClassyLady · #30 03-22-2003, 01:03 AM

Men, if you see an attractive woman walking with some food, candy, juice, fruit, whatever in her hand, DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT ask "can I have a bite?" or "is that for me?" This does not work. If a woman is interested in you, she'll be more interested if you show some respect and class and say something just a little more tasteful like "Excuse me, I think you are very attractive and would like to get to know you better. May I walk and talk with you for a while?"

I swear, sometimes I think that in the 6th grade, they pull all of the boys aside and teach them to do and say a lot of stuff to get women that will never work.