Quiting your GLO? - Page 2

RockChalk · #16 03-10-2002, 08:04 PM

First off, I understand where you're coming from with 18 credits and work stressing you out! I was doing the same thing till recently.

Have you talked to any of the actives (other than the pledge trainers) about your situation? Do the actives feel the same way about your pledge class as you do?

justamom · #17 03-10-2002, 08:15 PM

SAEguy-please talk to us. You MUST know we all want to know what you're thinking at this time. If it is too personal, I sure we will all understand, but considering the number of "clicks", you know people are concerned for you.

SAEalumnus · #18 03-11-2002, 12:09 AM

Well it's obvious that your pledge bros are never going to be true SAEs. It's a shame they got initiated, but that doesn't mean that you can't be a good SAE. I won't pretend to know what it's like to be in your situation, but for what it's worth, you'll only have to deal with them until you graduate. Once you go alum, you never have to see them again if you don't want to. If you quit, you'll bring about the end of your relations with them a little quicker, but you'll be giving up your own lifetime membership. It's got to be your decision either way, but you have to ask yourself which one is more worth it. Good luck and Phi Alpha.

SAEguy · #19 03-11-2002, 12:21 PM

Sorry for not getting back, I will explain some more tonight I have class all day!! thanks everyone!!!

GreekLetterGirl · #20 03-11-2002, 03:15 PM

hope things are a little better

Peaches-n-Cream · #21 03-11-2002, 05:51 PM

I hope that everything is working out for you. Let us know if the advice helps.

James · #22 03-11-2002, 09:47 PM

I agree with LeslieAGD when she says that the decision should be carefully thought out.

Sorry that you are having a bad experience because of some idiots.

Stupid people that ruin an experience for others gets me well

steamed.

Now the first temtation is to do something nasty to them:

But that is a bad idea, the legal repercussions are nasty.

But I understand you are still upset and angry

.

But you want to do is sit back and cold bloodedly consider both the situation and your options.

Friends

Unless the chapter is very small, you probably don't know many of the brothers well. If there are at least 20 plus brothers you don't know well as a pledge, you have a really good chance at bonding with some afetr becoming an active.

Social Place

Was the chapter honest with you in terms of its social programming and the who they hang out with? If the chapter is pretty low profile on campus you may not want to join it, or you may wan to look at it as a fixer upper.

Pledge Class

I know they seem a lost cause to you, but it sounds like a failure in leadership by both the general chapter and the pledge class. ITs like 50/50 whether a class will be serious and cool, or stupid and lost. And often depends on whether the chapter has some definite guidelines and leads by example through its pledge educators. Or on who takes the initiative in the pledge class. If the wrong people do, the rest of the sheep will often follow and be infected.

Never take your toys and go home

One of the things they tell us as MEN is that we should never lose our tempers and stalk off in some grand gesture. Its really immature. So if you are going to leave, do so, but don't expect them to miss you, like you, or change in anyway when you do.

Anway hopefully we'll know more of what to tell you if you tell us:

How far along in your program you are.

How large the pledge class is.

How large the chapter is.

What the campus Greek system is like, including how many groups.

And anything you think we should know.

Good luck!

Peaches-n-Cream · #23 03-11-2002, 10:03 PM

Good post, James! Nice use of smilies!

mmcat · #24 03-11-2002, 10:08 PM

try as best as you can to find the positive in this.
you are pledging a strong national group. try to find others you can talk to. maybe time will heal the strangeness. just hang in.
mmcat

AchtungBaby80 · #25 03-12-2002, 06:37 PM

I know how you feel--there have been numerous times I have wanted to quit my chapter. Honestly. Most of the time, I don't like it because of a few certain people. I do like the organization overall, though, and that's one thing you have to consider. But I know it seems like a waste because of all the money you're paying if you feel you're getting nothing back from it...so I can't really give you any good advice because I go back and forth myself between wanting to quit and loving it all the time. Like everyone said, 4 years of college is a small amount of time compared to the years you might spend as an alum, so that's another thing you might want to consider. I know I probably won't be active as an alum, but what has kept me hanging in there is the friends I've made as a result of being a member, especially my big sister. If you like the older members, try to ignore the rest of your pledge class--I know it sounds horrible, but if you don't like them, you shouldn't feel obligated to hang around them all the time just because they have on the same letters as you. By all means TRY to stand them, but if you just can't, then there's no point pretending everything's peachy when it's not. And who knows, maybe they'll quit.

h2oot · #26 03-12-2002, 09:01 PM

This may not be the most popular thing to say but:

1. You shouldn't make an important decision if you are under a lot of emotional stress.

2. Don't let your feelings for one or two jerks over-influence your decision. Your frat is bigger than one or two guys. There is an adage: principles before personalities.

3. If you have looked at this from all perspectives and talked to your big and a few other key members of your frat and you still feel like you do, then you should probably drop. You should not go through initiation just because you don't want to be a quitter or worry what others may think, etc. This is about you and how you feel you fit into that situation. If you have considered all that and don't feel like this is for you, then you should act accordingly.