Daughter Rushing

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Momto2girls

I am sorry that you thought I was being judgmental regarding my daughter. That was not my intent at all. She is one of the most confident young ladies I know. This is also recognized by the rec writers who know her well. Her sister is in a sorority at another school and is beery much wanting that opportunity as well. She has no ideas of my concerns. They are mine due to the way many young women are judged during rush. She continues to be open to all chapters and truly wants to find that home in her new town.

[Momto2girls]

AlphFrog, have you ever made a typo? Sorry!! I thought this was a place where Mom's could share their worries about their daughters. I did not think it would be a place to be attacked! I love my daughter just the way she is and in no way judge her by her looks, (as I am beginning to believe some of you might). As I shared above, she is going into recruitment nervous as all PNM's are, but with an open mind and excitement for a new experience. My hope is that she will find the perfect place for her. Sorry if I took your time.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Momto2girls

AlphFrog, have you ever made a typo? Sorry!! I thought this was a place where Mom's could share their worries about their daughters. I did not think it would be a place to be attacked! I love my daughter just the way she is and in no way judge her by her looks, (as I am beginning to believe some of you might). As I shared above, she is going into recruitment nervous as all PNM's are, but with an open mind and excitement for a new experience. My hope is that she will find the perfect place for her. Sorry if I took your time.

Holy crap. If you thought that was an attack your logic does not resemble our Earth logic. It was an odd typo, that's all. Besides, if I was going to seriously make fun of you for typos, I'd rather make fun of your apostrophe abuse.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by Momto2girls

... I thought this was a place where Mom's could share their worries about their daughters.

Yes, but realize you are posting on a public message board that is open to everyone, everywhere - as in GC is part of the world wide web. No matter what you post here you are going to have to be prepared for a variety of responses. Some people will agree with what you say, some won't. Take it all with a grain of salt.

I know that you were just expressing your concerns. Its just that it came off as 'my daughter is fat, no one will like her.' That is probably not what you meant, but it is how I read it. As you can see, others saw what you said differently.

I did not think it would be a place to be attacked! ...

Again, this message board is open to everyone. Believe me, I've said stuff that I thought was not a big deal and it turned into 20 pages of back and forth.

Just know that this is the nature of GC. Don't come here expecting everyone to give you comfort and support that you want. If you keep that in mind, then you will enjoy posting here. If you expect everyone here to be a shoulder for you, then this is not the place. I'm sure there are specific message boards for moms with daughters going through NPC recruitment who will offer you the kind of encouragement you want. GC ain't it.

[Gingerdeltaz]

Originally Posted by Momto2girls

My D2 will be rushing in the fall. She has recs for each house on her campus and is a legacy to one. I am nervous for her as she is not the typical, "skinny" college freshman. I am hoping all goes well for her. We have had many discussions about "it only takes one" I am thinking that it will be more stressful for me than for her.

I hope that your daughter has a wonderful time during recruitment. I think that most sororities will be able to see your daughter for who she really is. I love looking through some of the photos on sorority websites and seeing the girls of all shapes, sizes and backgrounds. It's part of what makes the experience so much fun.

Best wishes to her and to you (my oldest is going through recruitment at a very competitive school as well, so I understand your nerves ) during recruitment.

[DubaiSis]

I saw it as an attack.

[ellebud]

I too saw it as an attack on the OP. Mom: you have to understand that weight-y issues can be a hot button for some people.

Bottom line: If a house wants only size 0 girls your daughter might not fit in there. Your self confident daughter will do fine. You helped make her that way...self confident. There are times when it is harder on the moms than the daughters .

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by ellebud

I too saw it as an attack on the OP. Mom: you have to understand that weight-y issues can be a hot button for some people.

Bottom line: If a house wants only size 0 girls your daughter might not fit in there. Your self confident daughter will do fine. You helped make her that way...self confident. There are times when it is harder on the moms than the daughters .

All this! OP please keep us posted on your daughter - this is always tougher on the Mamas than on the daughters. We're rooting for her!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Also, you and your daughter should remember that a house full of women who are not the traditionally attractive pageant queen types can still have an awesome sisterhood. Very few women get dropped from recruitment entirely if they have recs and make grades. The far more common outcome is that they are unhappy with their options. The best thing you can do for your daughter is help her to be excited about all of her options.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Also, you and your daughter should remember that a house full of women who are not the traditionally attractive pageant queen types can still have an awesome sisterhood. Very few women get dropped from recruitment entirely if they have recs and make grades. The far more common outcome is that they are unhappy with their options. The best thing you can do for your daughter is help her to be excited about all of her options.

This!

[scrapcat]

Best of luck to your daughter and you too! Have fun with the whole process. Many people on here are very helpful and without some of their kind words I would've been a bundle of nerves for my youngest. (I lived! she lived! it was thrilling!)

[gee_ess]

I understand the OP. In this uber competitive world of recruitment (mom says she is at one of those schools), we know that cuts can be made for very silly and superficial reasons - which is hard to swallow as the parent OR the PNM. So you start to worry and agonize over every little thing that could possibly go against the PNM. Vey understandable imo.

[carnation]

^^^ Like!

[33girl]

Anything that gets a super hot pic of The Rock on here is fine with me, attack or not.

Momto2girls - I understand that you are worried for your daughter, but think how she would feel if she has "no idea of your concerns" and then sees them written here for tons of strangers (and possibly people she knows) to see? How does SHE feel about her weight? Has it ever hindered her before? If she's made a point to develop her personality and intelligence, and has been an involved and stellar student, she may have a leg up on all the size 0s who have pretty much made it through high school on their looks without having to really try too hard.

Just be sure you aren't sublimating your own issues onto your offspring.

[Pirouette]

I feel like every year at pretty much every school, there is one girl who goes through recruitment who is drop dead gorgeous. She's like a size double 0, has the perfect hair, and wears really nice clothes. But she's verbally handicapped. She just stands there at the recruitment parties looking pretty thinking that's enough to get in. And usually, she has a very unsuccessful recruitment. I'm sure she's a nice girl, but she never shows the sororities what she has to offer them.

As long as your daughter is confident in who she is and shows that she would be a great asset, there's a good chance that even the "top" sororities would prefer the girl who is a little larger but brings a lot to the table than a pretty dud.