changing your name?

[succubus2636]

I would keep my last name professionally, because whatever advanced degree I obtain, I'd like for it to be attached to *my" family's name moreso than my husband's if I'm the one who did all the work to earn it! Besides, my current boyfriend's last name is Howard, and if I ever married him I'd hate to be referred to as Dr. Howard over Dr. Holmes...my own last name suits me better, and I'm pretty much an only child, and being a girl, there's no other way for me to carry the name forward!!! now, outside of my profession, i suppose it's open for discussion! BTW, Im new to posting on this site, but have been checking it out for over a year!

[SoTrue1920]

I unofficially changed my name when I got married, but so did my husband. My last name became my middle name, and I added his name to it. I use all three names -- think Mary Tyler Moore or Courtney Cox Arquette. No hyphens here. I also don't like being referred to as Mrs. -- to me it feels too much like property. I use Ms. just like I did before I was married.

My husband kept his middle name, but only the initial. He also plans to use all three names.

I haven't officially changed my name yet because I didn't have enough time after the wedding what with packing and relocating to a different country. Hopefully we'll both get to legally change our names soon!

[SoTrue1920]

Originally posted by aephi alum
What really irks me, is when people use "Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname" - hello?? I have a name of my own!! I usually hand any mail addressed like that to my husband - "it's got your name and not mine on it, so it must be for you"

Ugh, aephi alum... I know how you feel. This happened to me at my father's funeral earlier this year. In the funeral bulletin they listed me as "Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname of Vancouver, BC." I was LIVID! I kep thinking "Hello! I'm Cecily _______ of Atlanta, GA, thank you very much!" What's more, I know my father wouldn't have wanted me listed that way!

[lifesaver]

Several Observations...

In texas its common for kids (primarily in the hispanic culture) to hyphenate their last names. If the last name is Arellano (dads), and the moms maiden is Torres, Yhe kid will often go by Dax Arellano-Torres. Very common.

Secondly, We have a NM this semester who all the ladise are after because he has that "mediterranian look." Hes half-Lebanise, but has the last name of Parker. Turns out his mom and dad got divorced when he was really little so his mom not only changed her last name back to her maiden, but changed his to her maiden as well. I just cant see Parker as Ryan Abu-Kemise (his real birth name).

Finally I am getting my middle name legally changed. I hate it, I have always hated it. It is my mothers maiden name, and sounds OK as a last name, but BLOWS as a middle name. I am in my mid 20-s and still get $hit for it. Quoting my mom when I was in 2nd grade, "Oh honey, when you get to the third grade, they wont tease you anymore. " yeah. right. Sell it to someone whos buying, mom. A few months ago my BOSS was teasing me about it. I am sick of it. THE WORST is when someone tells me, "Oh, but it so fits you!" GRRRRRR. I am looking at 3 family names, Nathan, Tyler or Clarke. I myself like Mykul (a brother in the house's name, just think its cool spelled that way.) But have agreed to use a family name. My fam is really big on that crap.

So I'll share. If I hear shrieks of laughter in the still South Texas night tonight, I'll know what it is.

Prepare knees for slapping...

Jolly

SEE my social shame.

Good news, its only $120 in Texas to do it and you just have to swear before a judge that you arent doing it to run from the law or debts. I swear in front of everyone, so a judge shouldnt be that hard.

[aggieAXO]

Can you hear me laughing? he he he he, I think it is cute!!

Originally posted by lifesaver
Several Observations...

In texas its common for kids (primarily in the hispanic culture) to hyphenate their last names. If the last name is Arellano (dads), and the moms maiden is Torres, Yhe kid will often go by Dax Arellano-Torres. Very common.

Secondly, We have a NM this semester who all the ladise are after because he has that "mediterranian look." Hes half-Lebanise, but has the last name of Parker. Turns out his mom and dad got divorced when he was really little so his mom not only changed her last name back to her maiden, but changed his to her maiden as well. I just cant see Parker as Ryan Abu-Kemise (his real birth name).

Finally I am getting my middle name legally changed. I hate it, I have always hated it. It is my mothers maiden name, and sounds OK as a last name, but BLOWS as a middle name. I am in my mid 20-s and still get $hit for it. Quoting my mom when I was in 2nd grade, "Oh honey, when you get to the third grade, they wont tease you anymore. " yeah. right. Sell it to someone whos buying, mom. A few months ago my BOSS was teasing me about it. I am sick of it. THE WORST is when someone tells me, "Oh, but it so fits you!" GRRRRRR. I am looking at 3 family names, Nathan, Tyler or Clarke. I myself like Mykul (a brother in the house's name, just think its cool spelled that way.) But have agreed to use a family name. My fam is really big on that crap.

So I'll share. If I hear shrieks of laughter in the still South Texas night tonight, I'll know what it is.

Prepare knees for slapping...

Jolly

god I hate my life sometimes.

Good news, its only $120 in Texas to do it and you just have to swear before a judge that you arent doing it to run from the law or debts. I swear in front of everyone, so a judge shouldnt be that hard.

[KappaStargirl]

I am a traditionalist here...

I'm changing my name. I like his better anyway. With my last fiance, I would have either kept my name or hyphenated it because his last name rhymed with my first. Yuck! And I don't mind being called Mrs. Joe Smith. I'm just strange or something that way, I guess.

[AlphaChiGirl]

I'm a traditionalist, too...I like my last name, and I will probably use it professionally--unless I get married young before I establish myself in a career. But socially I would use my married name (unless it was just weird and freaked me out), and when I have to sign report cards, and stuff for my children, I will probably use Mrs. Hisname Hisname. I know that often, teachers/administrators "assume" things regarding a child's home life based on who's signing the papers, and how.

[carnation]

When I got my doctorate, I was still unmarried and performed tons of research under my maiden name. Then I got married and decided to hyphenate because I didn't think others in the field would recognize my new last name...also, my mother-in-law worked on campus and our husbands had the same first and last names and that would be confusing!

However, my hyphenated name was a mile long and it kept causing problems--it wouldn't fit on nameplates or parking spaces or certificates, etc., plus it was a mouthful so after about 3 years, I just started using my husband's last name...it was easier because the kids had started coming by then, too. I was pleased to realize also that because of the 3 years of hyphenation, people in the field were still able to remember me as the researcher.

I still only use Dr., never Mrs. First, my in-laws with the same name still live very close and participate in lots of the same activities and second, I earned it!

[aggieAXO]

so Carnation is it Dr. and Mr. Carnation?

I Have pondered the wedding invitation if I were to marry a Mr. and not a Dr. It is going to be weird hearing Mr. and Dr. so and so or what if he is a Dr. then Dr. and Dr. so and so???
Though again I am not a traditional person and will probably get married in Vegas .

[SoTrue1920]

Originally posted by aggieAXO
so Carnation is it Dr. and Mr. Carnation?

I Have pondered the wedding invitation if I were to marry a Mr. and not a Dr. It is going to be weird hearing Mr. and Dr. so and so or what if he is a Dr. then Dr. and Dr. so and so???
Though again I am not a traditional person and will probably get married in Vegas .

When I was filling out wedding invitations (hard to believe it's been a year since did that!), I read that the proper way to address an envelope if the man was a doctor was "Dr. and Mrs. So-and-So". What's funny is it didn't mention what to do if the woman was a doctor, so I'm assuming that the same rule would apply.

[Sisterplum]

I never even gave it any thought....I've always known that when I got married, I would change my name....not that I don't like my maiden name, but it's just something I never gave a second thought about!

I went from my maiden name of Hartling (easy to pronounce!) to my married name of Bialowas ( bee-a-lov-us) which is Polish (my husband was born there). It took my mom a year of us dating to have her even pronounce it right!!! LOL!

[carnation]

Okay, assuming we are Bill and Mary Smith, the most proper way to address an envelope is Dr. Mary and Mr. Bill Smith, though who cares about the order? It's okay with me if envelopes say Bill and Mary Smith or Mr. Bill and Dr. Mary Smith--just not Mr. and Mrs. Bill Smith!

[BrownEyedGirl]

This is a bit random, but if your husband was also a doctor, Carnation, would you have envelopes addressed to: Doctors Smith or Dr. and Dr. Smith? It just occurred to me that having only one doctor (either spouse) in the fam wouldn't be too complicated, but two might throw me off!

Congrats, by the way, on finding a way of keeping your name and then transitioning into something that worked for you and your family!

[Wine&Blue]

Mind if I jump in? With all the invitations I'm doing right now, I could probably answer any question you have.

In this case it would say "Drs. Mary and Bill Smith." I don't so much care whose name goes first either, but the etiquette gods say her name goes first.

Incidentally, I'm taking his name and bumping my name to middle. So I'll be Firstname Maidenname Marriedname. Like Courtney Cox Arquette.

Originally posted by BrownEyedGirl
This is a bit random, but if your husband was also a doctor, Carnation, would you have envelopes addressed to: Doctors Smith or Dr. and Dr. Smith? It just occurred to me that having only one doctor (either spouse) in the fam wouldn't be too complicated, but two might throw me off!

Congrats, by the way, on finding a way of keeping your name and then transitioning into something that worked for you and your family!

[BrownEyedGirl]

Thanks for the etiquette info, Wine&Blue!! When are you getting married?