a reluctant PNM faces the music

[LAblondeGPhi]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Sweetie, don't you EVER apologize for being a woman whose faith is important to her! To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, those who matter won't be offended, those who are offended don't matter!

Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter

[facethemusic]

Originally Posted by LAblondeGPhi

Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter

Funny, that's the exact quotation I chose for my senior bio in my high school's yearbook! Dr. Suess is the man.

Thanks for all the support everyone! It makes me wish I had discovered Greek Chat prior to rush and posted my story live - I could've used the encouragement at the time!

[I Am A Tourist]

Great story so far!

[facethemusic]

Round 1, Day 1 (Open House/Ice Water Teas)

I was an absolute nervous wreck that morning as I applied my makeup to the best of my ability, attempted to tame my unkempt brown mane, and zipped myself into a dress I never would've dreamed of buying had I not been assembling rush outfits. Some pearls and cute sandals finished off the outfit (heels were FAR beyond my comfort zone). When I looked in the mirror, I had to say, I felt pretty good. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad.

When I met up with my Pi Chi group, the nerves kicked into higher gear when I realized I was the only girl not wearing heels. Suddenly extremely self-conscious of my sandals, I asked my Pi Chi if I needed to go back to my dorm to grab different shoes, and she reassured me that I would be fine. Looking back, I'm glad she did - I would've absolutely DIED if I had worn heels that day.

It was HOT outside to say the very least - temperatures were in the upper 90s with the humidity putting the heat index at nearly 110. Before we had even been handed our schedules, we were already fanning ourselves with anything we could get our hands on.

I visited 10 houses on the first day of Round 1:

Double Bass - It made me extremely nervous that my very first rush party would be for a house I was particularly interested in. We lined up outside the front door, and after a few minutes the doors burst open as we were greeted by girls clapping, cheering, singing and dancing. I was completely caught off guard - I guess I was anticipating that rush would be prim and proper. My rush notebook simply says "what the heck just happened?" in regard to this party. Honestly, I can hardly remember anything about it other than that I had never been so nervous in my life. I cycled from rusher to rusher putting every ounce of effort I had into smiling and answering all their questions. I left hardly remembering what had happened, not really having any sort of opinion about the house, and hoping I had managed to make an okay impression.

Bassoon - I was nervous about this house based on the rumors I'd heard that they were made of money. Standing in line outside, I felt extremely self-conscious of my outfit, all of which probably cost me a total of about $50 (with the exception of the pearls, which had been a pre-rush "good luck" gift from my sweet mother). But when the doors flew open, I had a better idea of what to expect this time, and I smiled and sang along to their song (it was one of my favorites) as I walked in. My rusher led me to a couch where we sat down, and I immediately sang the Hallelujah Chorus in my head. It was so hot outside, and I had been dying to sit down after dashing to this house from the previous one. We talked about the typical rush topics - hometown, major, etc. I liked her okay, but I talked to her for the whole party which I'm pretty sure wasn't supposed to happen. Since I had only talked to one person and we hadn't really gone beyond surface-level topics, I left this house without really forming an opinion either way.

Cello - I'd heard so much about this house that in my mind I'd already pretty much counted this one out. It seemed to me as if some girls had been trained from their diaper days to someday pledge this chapter of this sorority. It was the "top" house on campus, the big dogs, and it was supposedly impossible to get into. I smiled and did my best, but of the three girls I talked to, each one seemed significantly less interested in me when I told them my hometown. I got the vibe that they were only interested in in-state girls with lots of connections, and they came off as condescending at times. I left this house knowing I probably wouldn't be invited back, and I didn't really mind.

Percussion - I absolutely LOVED this house!! I talked to four girls, and the fourth one and I hit it off so well that we didn't want to stop talking, and I was the last rushee to leave the house. When this rusher had asked me what kind of activities I planned to get involved in on campus, I mentioned a popular campus ministry. I know religion is supposed to be an off-limits rush topic, but I figured I may as well be honest. The girl jumped all over it - as it turned out, she was a leader in that organization and absolutely loved it. She gushed on and on about how it had done such great things for her relationship with the Lord. I'm sure our conversation broke some unspoken rush "rules," but having a conversation about faith was like a breath of fresh air. I very much wanted to come back to this house!

Oboe - This house didn't really make any impression on me. I loved their tshirts, which I mentioned to the three girls who rushed me, and looking back I think that may have come off as kissy-uppy. Oh well. Our conversations flowed decently but once again didn't really go beyond the usual hometown-major. I hoped I would be invited back to this house to give it another chance, because I had heard good things about it.

Saxophone - I had built up SO much anticipation for this party, and I couldn't WAIT to get inside. Based only on my knowledge of the sororities prior to recruitment, I wanted so badly to be a Saxophone. The house did not disappoint. I talked to two girls, and one of them was in a major very similar to (and probably equally as difficult as) my own. We chattered about why we had both chosen this field, I expressed my nervousness that I wouldn't be able to cut it academically, and she assured me that I'd be just fine. I really enjoyed talking to her, and I still loved Saxophone after this party!

Violin - I'd heard rumors that this chapter had been struggling to make quota, but honestly I couldn't understand why. The three girls I talked to were sweet and down-to-earth, and I really appreciated the fact that our conversations avoided the overdone topics of hometown and major. I talked with one girl about Harry Potter and swapped funny pet stories with another. I genuinely enjoyed my time at this house and sincerely wished to go back.

Voice - This house, like Oboe, didn't really make an impression on me. I talked to three girls about surface-level things and while they seemed nice enough, I didn't connect especially well with any of them. Their house, however, was by far the prettiest I had been in up to that point, which I genuinely complimented them for. I hoped I would be invited back so I'd have another opportunity to form an opinion of this group.

Guitar - I ADORED this house!! I think something went wrong with the rotations and I somehow ended up talking to three girls at once. That was slightly intimidating, but we made it work. We had an absolutely hilarious conversation about food. I gushed about how much I loved Mexican food, the first rusher answered that Chinese was her favorite, the second voiced her preference for seafood, and the third liked Italian. Ultimately, the four of us reached the conclusion that food in general rocks. They recommended some restaurants near campus for me to try, and I told them what places they should hit if they ever visited my hometown. I left feeling great about this house!

Piano - Standing outside the door to this house, I did NOT feel like putting much effort into making a good impression here because 1) it was the last party of the day and I was BEYOND exhausted, and 2) because based on girls who had pledged this chapter in my home region I was convinced I wouldn't like it. But I forced myself to smile and be gracious, and I was pleasantly surprised. One of my conversations here that day was focused on Harry Potter as the rusher and I compared sororities to the Hogwarts houses, ultimately concluding that we'd much rather have the Sorting Hat choose for us than have to go through the stress of rush! It was refreshing to hear someone admit that rush wasn't all fun and games, and I felt like I could be honest with her about my state of exhaustion and stress. I left this house feeling very conflicted - I had enjoyed my time here but was weary of the stereotypes associated with this group where I came from.

[DubaiSis]

I think not coincidentally, I was cut from 3 of my 4 first houses the first day of rush and only 1 for the rest of round 1. That first house is a killer!

[facethemusic]

Evening of Round 1, Day 1 (Open House/Ice Water Tea)

I recall sitting in one of my new neighbors' room with the other rushees from my hall. We had the tv on but were hardly paying attention as we swapped stories and thoughts from our first day - embarrassing moments, unique conversations, and opinions of the houses. I had been warned by my Pi Chi not to let the opinions of other girls influence my own, so I tried to take what I was hearing with a grain of salt, but I couldn't help but value the opinions of the girls who were becoming my first friends at my new school.

My roommate Kat had particularly enjoyed Oboe and Clarinet while being less than impressed with Violin. Sara, the girl down the hall from Kat's hometown, was hoping for French Horn and also disliked Violin. As a matter of fact, the general consensus in the room was that Violin was highly undesirable. I was slightly hurt by this because I had enjoyed my time there, but I kept my mouth shut on the topic.

When asked about my favorites, I responded that I had really enjoyed Percussion, Saxophone, and Guitar. In my head I included Violin on this list, but I didn't want to go against the crowd. Another girl in the room immediately responded that she thought Guitar was full of snobs, and I felt another pang of disapproval. It upset me so much that when asked what chapters I hadn't liked, I lied that I had liked them all. I didn't want to bash a house someone else loved; I had already experienced that and it didn't feel good.

My schedule for the next day was:
Viola
Flute
French Horn
Trombone
Trumpet
Clarinet.

I went to bed full of anxious excitement - I had still yet to visit many of the chapters that had piqued my interest prior to rush. I couldn't wait to see Viola (my best friend's mom's chapter), Trombone (my sortofish legacy house), and Trumpet (whose alum from my hometown had impressed me so much).

I was COMPLETELY worn out as I fell into bed that night and needless to say, I slept like a log...

[violetpretty]

Politics and religion are fine for recruitment conversation if handled correctly. Often, much of the leadership experience a PNM has comes from a political or religious group, and you wouldn't want to not tell a chapter about your involvement. Obviously, you don't want to have a political or theological debate, particularly if the other person disagrees with you.

When I first met my little during recruitment, she made a comment that let me know we had similar opinions, so we did talk about politics. It worked out, but I don't recommend doing it, because you never know what you're getting into.

And you shouldn't have to apologize for faith being a part of your life. You have shared a part of who you are without being preachy.

[chi-o_cat]

Following because I think I picked up a clue in one of the earlier posts, and I want to see if my hunch is correct.

I know I commented on someone else's recruitment story that sometimes the ones with lots of houses are harder to stick with, but I'm enjoying this one, and I'll try to keep up.

[facethemusic]

Round 1, Day 2 - Open Houses/Ice Water Teas

Today felt like the hottest day of the whole week and I remember three girls in my Pi Chi group fainting at various points throughout the day. It was a real scorcher, and even my rushers at the houses were complaining about the heat. AC was no match for the sun that day.

I was already feeling a little physically battered by the rush process - my voice was starting to give out, I had blisters even from my heel-less sandals, and I was chugging water every chance I got, feeling constantly thirsty from the heat and from running around between houses.

But I was excited for many of the parties on my schedule today, so I downed some coffee and forced myself to smile. We would be finished by lunchtime that day so the sororities would have time to meet and make their decisions - I'd have plenty of time for a much-needed nap that afternoon.

Viola - When the doors to this house flew open, I was immediately taken aback by how drop-dead gorgeous these girls were. As a collective unit, they were the best-looking house I had seen so far, and I felt a pang of self-consciousness. I have few notes about this house other than that the girls were "stunning but SO sweet" - no specific details of conversations, sorry. I also have written down that I talked to 7 girls. Looking back, I think my best friend's mom's rec must have been wonderful. I loved this house and wanted to come back!!

Flute - I was so thrilled that my rusher at this house was from my hometown! I didn't know her previously, but the more we got to chatting, the more I was surprised that our paths had never crossed in high school. She had gone to the closest neighboring school to my own and we had been involved in a couple of similar activities. This sorority's mascot was an animal that I'd actually had as a childhood pet - a highly unusual pet, let me assure you. (You may have an idea of which chapter this is, but please keep it to yourself!) I mentioned to the girl that I'd kept their mascot as a pet, and her face lit up. She said their chapter had been looking into adopting one to keep at the house, and she immediately called over two other girls. The three of them began drilling me on the care and keeping of this animal, and I answered all their questions to the best of my ability. They were nice to me, but when I left the house I regretted that I'd spent almost my entire time there talking about my pet rather than myself. Also, I had been hearing a lot about this house's less-than-stellar reputation.

French Horn - I was eager to see this house for myself because Sara had given it a glowing review. According to my notes I talked to 3 girls, and our conversations didn't really make it beyond the usual hometown/major/why did you come to XYZ School stuff. I by no means disliked this house, but I just didn't make much of a connection with the girls I talked to. My notes from this party conclude with "just not feelin it."

Trombone - I was anxious for this house because it was the closest thing I had to a legacy chapter, although I wasn't sure if my distant relation to my "cousin" was going to do me much good here. I'd been hearing rumors that it was a top chapter and difficult to get into. I absolutely LOVED this house. Of the three girls I talked to, the last one attended the church I planned on going to in my new city. She raved about it, gushing on and on about the great student ministries they had there and insisting that I was going to absolutely love it. The girls at this house seemed genuine and sweet, and I VERY much wanted to come back!

Trumpet - I couldn't wait to get inside this house. Mrs. Impressive Alum had really built up my impression of this chapter, and her advice about rush and surviving in my major had already been invaluable. But unfortunately, I was let down by this group. I couldn't put my finger on why, because the 4 girls I talked to seemed really nice and I was enjoying my conversations, but something, although I had no idea what, just didn't feel right. I left feeling rather disappointed in myself for not being able to come up with a reason why I hadn't liked this house.

Clarinet - My face lit up when I walked into this house and was greeted by my counselor from freshman orientation. I'd known she was in a sorority, but during orientation she hadn't been allowed to tell us which one. She was so nice and talking to her was great - the conversation took on the tone of 'catching-up' rather than a typical, forced rush conversation. She introduced me to her big sister, whom I also liked. I left this house regretting that I'd only met one girl I didn't already know, but hoping I'd be invited back so I could meet more. I loved my orientation counselor and thought any chapter she was in had to be good.


After our last party, we had to immediately stand in a silent line to submit our rankings. In the next round, Philanthropy, we would be allowed to go to a maximum of 12 parties. This meant that for our rankings, we could "keep" twelve houses (in no particular order) and "cut" four (in ranked order.) I understood how the process worked and that I wasn't really "cutting" the four chapters on my list....

Anyway, here are the chapters I put on my "cut" list:
1. Trumpet
2. Flute
3. Cello
4. Piano.

I then crashed in my room for a few hours before going out for dinner with my Pi Chi group. My Pi Chi congratulated us on making it through the first round and gave us a "pep talk" regarding our first cuts, which we'd receive in the morning. She warned us that ours was a really competitive rush and that having 12 invitations for Round 2 was the exception, not the rule. The average, she said, would be about 7. She encouraged us not to fret if our schedule was less than full (which it most likely would be) - we would be that much closer to finding our home. The serious nature of her talk got me really nervous, and I started talking to the girl next to me, "Amy," about how scared I was to get my first cuts. She replied something along the lines of she was nervous too but knew God had a plan. I smiled to myself and made a mental note to try to talk to her more in the coming days.

That night, I called my mom to chat. I'd been texting her between houses so she knew what was going on already. She was thrilled that I was opening up to the idea of pledging and she tried to be encouraging with regard to the heavy cuts that would come in the morning, but I could tell she was just as nervous as I was.

My nerves made it difficult to get to bed that night. I told myself I would be okay with a relatively empty schedule as long as I kept a few of my five early favorites: Percussion, Saxophone, Guitar, Violin, and Trombone......

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by facethemusic

I told myself I would be okay with a relatively empty schedule as long as I kept a few of my five early favorites:

This makes me a little nervous for the next installment! Is it foreshadowing?

[chi-o_cat]

Originally Posted by facethemusic

This sorority's mascot was an animal that I'd actually had as a childhood pet - a highly unusual pet, let me assure you. (You may have an idea of which chapter this is, but please keep it to yourself!)

I’m trying to figure it out! I can think of a couple sororities with mascots that would be fairly common pets, so I guess it’s none of those. And I can rule out DPhiE…you said an unusual pet, not an imaginary one!

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by facethemusic

Round 1, Day 2 - Open Houses/Ice Water Teas

Flute - I was so thrilled that my rusher at this house was from my hometown! I didn't know her previously, but the more we got to chatting, the more I was surprised that our paths had never crossed in high school. She had gone to the closest neighboring school to my own and we had been involved in a couple of similar activities. This sorority's mascot was an animal that I'd actually had as a childhood pet - a highly unusual pet, let me assure you. (You may have an idea of which chapter this is, but please keep it to yourself!) I mentioned to the girl that I'd kept their mascot as a pet, and her face lit up. She said their chapter had been looking into adopting one to keep at the house, and she immediately called over two other girls. The three of them began drilling me on the care and keeping of this animal, and I answered all their questions to the best of my ability. They were nice to me, but when I left the house I regretted that I'd spent almost my entire time there talking about my pet rather than myself. Also, I had been hearing a lot about this house's less-than-stellar reputation.

Hmm...... Owl? Turtle? Squirrel? Lion? Giraffe? Surely not a giraffe...

[facethemusic]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

Hmm...... Owl? Turtle? Squirrel? Lion? Giraffe? Surely not a giraffe...

Lion, actually.

Hey guys, I know some of y'all get really excited about these recruitment stories, and I PROOOOOMISE I'm not just feeding y'all a made-up story for the heck of it, but I may need to slow down to, like, one post a day. I've got a round of exams coming up that are reeeeeeally stressing me out. I'm gonna do my absolute best to keep this coming as quick as possible. I'm not trying to torture y'all, I swear!!!

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by facethemusic

Lion, actually.

Hey guys, I know some of y'all get really excited about these recruitment stories, and I PROOOOOMISE I'm not just feeding y'all a made-up story for the heck of it, but I may need to slow down to, like, one post a day. I've got a round of exams coming up that are reeeeeeally stressing me out. I'm gonna do my absolute best to keep this coming as quick as possible. I'm not trying to torture y'all, I swear!!!

Right.

Calling it.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Right. Calling it.

Torture is in the mind of the torturee. Please stand and deliver!