A Word of Caution to PNMs

[Eightisgreat]

That is one lesson I hope I have driven home to my kids. I say if you aren't willing to wear it on a tshirt, don't post it on facebook. Of course I have seen the tshirts in Spencers so maybe I should choose a different description.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Eightisgreat

That is one lesson I hope I have driven home to my kids. I say if you aren't willing to wear it on a tshirt, don't post it on facebook. Of course I have seen the tshirts in Spencers so maybe I should choose a different description.

Ahh....Spencers. I haven't been there in a hundred years. Glad to know they're still delightfully inappropriate.

[Eightisgreat]

Thank goodness it is the store of choice for my kiddo's "gag" gifts. I feel confident, someone, somewhere, considers it high fashion. Everytime we leave, we joke how completely inappropriate it all really is.

[Jen]

And a reminder that even if you post your recruitment story after your recruitment is over, that doesn't mean you can go crazy insulting chapters and being obnoxious. Just because you're a new member doesn't mean you're free and clear to be rude toward chapters that either cut you or you didn't like. People DO have friends in all chapters, and people WILL talk.

[Jen]

Someone could have a "Wow, does mommy do everything for her?" attitude about a parent writing a rush story on behalf of/about their child. Even if the kid doesn't mind, some of their friends may think it's weird or clingy for a parent to be that involved in a college-age child's social activity.

[carnation]

We've had many wonderful recruitment threads written by parents...one of the best was justamom's thread in 2001 with her followup a year later! Another one was by a mom whose daughter went Theta at Auburn, another by the mom of a USM Phi Mu, and I can even think of several good threads written by dads! They didn't come off as creepily overinvolved but simply as good reads.

[U Go Glen Coco!]

Originally Posted by carnation

We've had many wonderful recruitment threads written by parents...one of the best was justamom's thread in 2001 with her followup a year later! Another one was by a mom whose daughter went Theta at Auburn, another by the mom of a USM Phi Mu, and I can even think of several good threads written by dads! They didn't come off as creepily overinvolved but simply as good reads.

If there's a slim chance that a recruitment thread can jeopardize their daughter's recruitment/sorority experience, why take the risk?

They were good reads, but let's face it -- not all our collegiate members are nice and sweet. Some of them are just plain bitchy these days and will do anything to sabotage an innocent girl's rush. Why even give them the ammo?

[LadyLonghorn]

Things are very different than they were even five or ten years ago. This is not the internet or GC of 2001.

It's irresponsible for a parent to do anything that might negatively affect and/or embarrass their child here or anywhere else. Even if you ask your daughter if it's ok to put her story here, that is putting a decision in the hands of a teenager who is just beginning to learn to be on her own and she may not fully comprehend the short and long term consequences. You're supposed to be the level headed adult.

The people who are saying "go for it" are parents and alumnae. No matter how involved you are with a chapter or your daughter, you honestly have no idea what really happens as an active now. Why in the world would you want to risk your child's happiness to fulfill your need to spill?

I can tell you with 100% certainty that a parent's story here seriously impaired a daughter's recruitment this fall. The parent was warned numerous times, both in PMs and in public, to stop but they didn't. The parent only finally realized what they had done once the recruitment ended with a disappointing bid.

I post these kinds of warnings only with the best interest of the PNMs in mind. I don't do them to get a reaction. Don't turn yourself or your daughter into that girl.

[U Go Glen Coco!]

Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn

Things are very different than they were even five or ten years ago. This is not the internet or GC of 2001.

It's irresponsible for a parent to do anything that might negatively affect and/or embarrass their child here or anywhere else. Even if you ask your daughter if it's ok to put her story here, that is putting a decision in the hands of a teenager who is just beginning to learn to be on her own and she may not fully comprehend the short and long term consequences. You're supposed to be the level headed adult.

The people who are saying "go for it" are parents and alumnae. No matter how involved you are with a chapter or your daughter, you honestly have no idea what really happens as an active now. Why in the world would you want to risk your child's happiness to fulfill your need to spill?

I can tell you with 100% certainty that a parent's story here seriously impaired a daughter's recruitment this fall. The parent was warned numerous times, both in PMs and in public, to stop but they didn't. The parent only finally realized what they had done once the recruitment ended with a disappointing bid.

I post these kinds of warnings only with the best interest of the PNMs in mind. I don't do them to get a reaction. Don't turn yourself or your daughter into that girl.

Is the link to that story still here? Or have the mods moved it to the darkside?

[carnation]

Several mods have no idea which story you're talking about. The only stories we can think of are ones in which girls shot themselves in the foot. Possibly there could have been stories where due to various factors like grades, the girl had a bad chance in the first place but we don't remember a mom tanking her daughter's recruitment.

[DrPhil]

This is a lane swerve although not every NPCer agrees with parents writing recruitment threads (do some consider this borderline helicopter parenting?):

I found justamom's thread strange and think that recruitment threads are one of many things that parents need to just sit back and let their daughters (ya know, the people who are actually going through it) handle. Even if the daughter types it up and lets the parent post it. Step awaaaaaay from the keyboard, parents.

Pardon the lane swerve, I just felt like sharing.

[FSUZeta]

i enjoy the rush threads-as long as the parent is discreet, posts after the fact and says nothing derogatory about any of the chapters(not feeling a connection is fine, unusual conversation is fine-chapter had a party girl, slutty girl rep.-no), i see no problem.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

i enjoy the rush threads-as long as the parent is discreet, posts after the fact and says nothing derogatory about any of the chapters(not feeling a connection is fine, unusual conversation is fine-chapter had a party girl, slutty girl rep.-no), i see no problem.

I agree. If the parents use some common sense regarding what they post (omitting identifying details, refraining from being rude as FSUZeta said, etc) and if they just wait until it is over, no harm no foul.

Personally I would consider PNMs posting live recruitment threads FAR more dangerous than parents doing so.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Personally I would consider PNMs posting live recruitment threads FAR more dangerous than parents doing so.

Oh, definitely! I can think of at least 5 PNMs whose threads actually insulted groups on their campuses and only 1 even got a bid. It's easy for parents or PNMs to post-date a thread and/or hide details, as FSUZeta said. Her thread about her daughter is a wonderful example! You can even, as I once did, get another GCer to post your child's thread as "the recruitment of a friend's daughter" and reveal who the PNM is later.

GCer PNMs and parents, it's up to you whether to do a thread. No one else should make this decision for you and if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to read it. Choose your words wisely and you should be fine.

[Drolefille]

Recruitment threads at all serve little purpose beyound vicarious living of other Greekchatters and watching PNMs crash and burn.

I'm for them stopping altogether. Talk about the different skits or decor or whatever after recruitment, but I'm going to go with no one here being that interesting that we just can't do without hearing every minutae of their thoughts, clothing decisions, or how the sister from house A talked funny. The PNM threads have devolved into endless "dress the PNM" nightmares with people giving advice inappropriate for the campus because they think they know better.

Parents, stop living vicarious through your children. GCers, stop living vicariously through PNMs. These stories serve no greater good.

/now who peed in my Cheerios this morning.