I've searched and searched, still looking for some help...

[Gusteau]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

By the time you get to grad school, you are not going to give a sh*t about your fraternity.

I'm hoping you're trying to say that he won't want to be an undergraduate member at that point...otherwise I can't figure out your deal.

It always boggles my mind that people ask so much about being an active member while in grad school I'm on the verge of graduation/grad school and I am SO ready to begin involvement as an alumnus and not as an undergraduate (and my fraternity is one that allows graduate students to be active members).

[HLA0392]

haha man that is true.. i never really though of it like that

[DrPhil]

DeltaBetaBaby's point was poorly expressed and I'm glad that people across councils and conferences disagree with that part of the post.

If DeltaBetaBaby indeed meant that he won't want to attend mixers with 22 year olds (which isn't a given because across councils and conferences there are alum who attend certain events with younger members) but would instead want an alum capacity, that may be the case. But, it is completely up to the fraternity, the chapter, and the individuals to figure that much out. The opinion of randoms on Greekchat and elsewhere doesn't matter.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

DeltaBetaBaby's point was poorly expressed and I'm glad that people across councils and conferences disagree with that part of the post.

If DeltaBetaBaby indeed meant that he won't want to attend mixers with 22 year olds (which isn't a given because across councils and conferences there are alum who attend certain events with younger members) but would instead want an alum capacity, that may be the case. But, it is completely up to the fraternity, the chapter, and the individuals to figure that much out. The opinion of randoms on Greekchat and elsewhere doesn't matter.

Well, people did a really nice job of quoting only the first part of what I posted, and we are talking about IFC, here. If you are an alum, and you are going to the sorority mixers, you are officially "that guy", at least as the women view it.

Besides, he is asking this question w/r/t choosing a chapter. Does anyone really think that the chapter at the school where he might do grad school four years down the line should influence his decision of where to pledge his freshman year?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Well, people did a really nice job of quoting only the first part of what I posted, and we are talking about IFC, here. If you are an alum, and you are going to the sorority mixers, you are officially "that guy", at least as the women view it.

Besides, he is asking this question w/r/t choosing a chapter. Does anyone really think that the chapter at the school where he might do grad school four years down the line should influence his decision of where to pledge his freshman year?

We just responded to what you actually said. "You don't want to be 'that guy'" or "you don't choose a fraternity based on what the chapter at your hypothetical future grad school might be like" is a far, far cry from "By the time you get to grad school, you are not going to give a sh*t about your fraternity."

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Well, people did a really nice job of quoting only the first part of what I posted, and we are talking about IFC, here. If you are an alum, and you are going to the sorority mixers, you are officially "that guy", at least as the women view it.

The first part of the post was extreme and based on how only some IFCers feel. Not wanting to go to sorority mixers like the undergraduates do is not prefaced with not giving a shit about your fraternity once you graduate/are in graduate school.

[33girl]

Not only that...at a lot of schools, the upperclassmen actually stay active and go to mixers...so a grad student there would only be a year or two older. Mixers are for socializing and seeing people, not just for hooking up.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Not only that...at a lot of schools, the upperclassmen actually stay active and go to mixers...so a grad student there would only be a year or two older. Mixers are for socializing and seeing people, not just for hooking up.

I agree. I was going to say that but didn't know if that would be interpreted as "NPHC stuff." We discussed that in another thread.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Not only that...at a lot of schools, the upperclassmen actually stay active and go to mixers...so a grad student there would only be a year or two older. Mixers are for socializing and seeing people, not just for hooking up.

Ok, I just wanted to use that pic. I admit it.

[lucgreek]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Not only that...at a lot of schools, the upperclassmen actually stay active and go to mixers...so a grad student there would only be a year or two older.

Really? I'm a little shocked by this. By senior year attendance for seniors at mixers was hit or miss (both on the fraternity and sorority). It was mostly the the freshmen/sophomores who went.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Also, I'm curious if most orgs even allow alums at events like mixers. It is a no-no for Phi Mu to have alums and collegians at an event with alcohol, so I have to think others have similar restrictions.

[Leslie Anne]

Hmm. On my campus mixers (or what we called desserts) always had loud music and dancing. No one danced at the bars.

It's interesting to find out how different campus cultures vary.

[angels&angles]

Attendance got more hit-or-miss at mixers as upperclassmen, but it had more to do with work than not wanting to go. The main thing I noticed was that as we got older, our cotumes got more elaborate and less slutty.

NB: This was in a tiny college town with 1.5 bars (there were two bars but one was AWFUL) so without Greek Life, there wasn't a lot to do.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by 33girl

How very swell for you. If you didn't mind wasting your money, whatever turns you on.

(I'm also trying to recall our mixers that had loud music or dancing - that was the bar, not the mixer.)

You have quite the perspective problem if parties are why you think I spent my money on dues. I didn't waste a dime. And way to avoid the part of my comment that was the most relevant.

Our switches/date dashes/crush parties were always at bars - rented out space with wristbands and cash bar- and had a DJ and dancing.

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Hmm. On my campus mixers (or what we called desserts) always had loud music and dancing. No one danced at the bars.

It's interesting to find out how different campus cultures vary.

Indeed

Originally Posted by lucgreek

Mixers were fun, but when you're 21/22 and in a big city, they're not as fun as they once were when you're underage. Though if you had quite a few friends in a certain sorority/fraternity, you never missed those mixers ever.

Originally Posted by angels&angles

Attendance got more hit-or-miss at mixers as upperclassmen, but it had more to do with work than not wanting to go. The main thing I noticed was that as we got older, our cotumes got more elaborate and less slutty.

NB: This was in a tiny college town with 1.5 bars (there were two bars but one was AWFUL) so without Greek Life, there wasn't a lot to do.

It's a combination of these two, some people just wanted to do other things, but most had coursework and clinical/practicum/lab requirements that took up a lot of their time.

[VandalSquirrel]

I'm more familiar with a swap, mixer, or social having no alcohol, and after the official ending there was alcohol. That was often a result of alcohol policies of sororities, and of some fraternities. Let's say there's a pumpkin carving party, booze free, then people either go to the bar or to an off campus member house so underage people can drink. I think if there was alcohol at an event it was in a house that wasn't dry, or was held off campus with a 3rd party vendor, and was labeled a dance.

We have a decent bar scene so the underage people usually drank in a house or at an out of house, and of age people might be there briefly but peaced out to the bar and show up for late night. I heart late nights in a house because there were always amazing left overs, mmm tater tot casserole or everything for nachos after a night of 32 oz tubs of beer. I can't think of any men's chapter house that didn't have 24 hour kitchen access, ladies, we are mostly denied the kitchen and had to take chances with leftovers and the microwave. Lots of great memories happened after 2 am with board games, karaoke, and pranking.