She has long hair to be dark skinned

[Special1920]

Yes, I use to get offended, but unfortunately I've gotten used to it. Long thick hair runs in my family, even the men. But to imply that every black woman, especially dark ones who has long hair is wearing a weave is an insult. I live in a regular neighborhood, grew up in just a regular neighborhood, and it was nothing to see long hair. Not to your azz long, but to your shoulder.
People assume all black women are sexual freaks, is this assumption right, just because you are black? People assume all black women are on aid, baby making machines, now do you want someone coming up to you saying how many babies do you have, are you on aid, most of us here are college educated.
Generalizations just bother me.
But PLEASE DON'T FORGET, BLACK WOMEN ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WEARING WEAVE! Do you actually think every white woman with hair to her behind, is all hers? White women were wearing weave before us, so this is also an issue with me.
But point blank it's just tacky and rude to ask people personal questions, and asking if you wear weave is just tacky.

[PrettyKitty]

I came across this article and thought it would be good discussion point in this thread

www.afro.com/history/bnw/bwmain.html

Written by Avonie Brown and Laura Lieberson
Designed by Brian Klaas

The quest for the acceptance of the naturalness and beauty of blackness is now firmly rooted in Black popular culture. For African peoples the adornment and beautification of the hair and body is an essential cultural component. In traditional African societies cosmetic modification has been ritualized with context and reason. That is, it is defined by the social occasion and may denote a stage of development from childhood to maturity, or indicate marital status or the group to which you belong.
The difficulty in accepting this cultural legacy arises in a racially conscious society where Black women and Black men are still struggling with how to present their physical image and still be accepted in the society. It was, and is inevitably complex trying to negotiate your self-acceptance through two opposing cultures.

Using some of the advertising that ran in the AFRO during the 1930s we will explore some of the messages they carried, and how these messages had an impact on the self-definitions of African Americans, particularly African American women. Throughout the analysis it will become clear that over 60 years later similar dynamics persist.



Advertisers have successfully exploited the cultural psyche of Black women and Black men and have given us a peculiar insight into Black life. To be Black, especially if you were particularly dark, was loaded with negative stereotypes. Several products, promising miraculous transformations, were manufactured and marketed specifically to the Black community. Their sales pitch implied that using the right product would eliminate the social conditions that defined Black life.
Throughout the 1930s bleach not only whitened clothes, it was marketed as means of lightening and whitening black skin. Advertisers swamped AFRO readers with a sales pitch that may now seem implausible and insulting, but much of these products, or products making similarly claims, are still readily available.

Then as much of 20% of the AFRO-American's ad revenue came from cosmetic companies hawking skin bleaching and hair straightening products. The advertisers were merciless in reinforcing the insecurities of Black women. While some ads were directed at Black men, women were the primary targets of skin care products while men were encouraged to "improve" the appearance of their hair.

The implication was that natural physical traits of blackness were defective, whiteness was now the norm for Blacks to emulate. Blackness could be corrected by purchasing and using the proper chemicals on the hair and skin. The standard of beauty was undeniably White, "the whiter the righter." Through their products and marketing strategy they produced and reproduced whiteness.

Ads were carefully worded to play on stereotypes and promoted a negative association with natural blackness. Consequently many Black women and Black men have mutilated their bodies and have even died because they used products, containing harsh chemicals, that promised peace of mind in a bottle.



It must be clearly stated that much of the fascination with straightening hair and lightening skin became such a part of the culture that some Black men and Black women were simply unconsciously responding to the social norms and expectations. As such this critique is not a wholesale indictment of people learning to survive by any means necessary.
Madame C.J. Walker clearly understood the nature of the society, and not only how to survive but how to succeed. Her ability to profitably amassed a fortune in the hair care industry meant we were not only consumers but we were also producers. However, unlike most manufacturers of beauty products, Madame C.J. Walker was not singularly focused on making Black women try to look White. Instead, she understood the distinctiveness of Black women's hair and used her products to target problem areas.

Inevitably the situation was futile for those who believed the elaborate claims of authenticity of products promising "whiteness". Even Blacks who were light enough to pass as white could only gain greater success and acceptance by denying their true identity, living in self-imposed isolation and with the constant fear of discovery.



While American popular culture reserves its most positive stereotype of blackness to light-skinned Blacks, they have never gained complete acceptance in White society, merely marginal tolerance. However the ads supported the prevailing attitude and the historical circumstance that black of mixed race have received educational and economic advantages.
The legacy of all this conditioning is so ingrained in the Black psyche, that exploring the natural beauty of blackness is still not an option for many. While hair and skin color is not the totality of the African American definition today it remains a preoccupation.

[Steeltrap]

PrettyKitty,
Thank you for posting that article.
It reinforces things that many of us already know, but it's nice to see this in print.

ST

[Diva_01]

Ladies, I just have to say my piece. I agree with a lot of you. Being dark myself, I do hate the you are a pretty black girl, or you are pretty for a dark-skinned girl lines. I get it like everyday. Mmm, mm, mm...and the hair, oh my. My hair was also not that long, just a couple inches past my shoulders as well,but everyone wanted to know if it was real, and I have also had people tug and feel in my hair. Even now, chin length and layered, I still get those is it real remarks. I also get the Indian in my family remarks, although I do, I tell people no for reactions. Hey, can't I just be a pretty girl who takes care of her hair? Sheesh,
But what does bother me is that my close friend, although not as close as before, tells me all the time not have kids by a dark-skinned man, because she'd be sorry for my kids. What? How rude. My mom is also very light, but we look just alike, like she spit me out, and people are always asking me how I had gotten so dark. Does it matter? I'm still me. My dad was dark, duh. Genes, stupid! Sorry, y'all. I had to vent.

[ChaosDST]

Originally posted by dst3800
Hey girl! No, this has never happened to me, but one of my very best friends has a dark complexion and people always go up to her and say something like, "You are very pretty for such a dark girl" We just look like, WTF is that supposed to mean? Like, if you're dark skinned, you can't be pretty or something?!?! And whew! When I say she gets HEATED!!! I mean she gets angry! It has happened so often that she is trying to learn how to ignore people like that; and most times she doesn't get as upset anymore, but it is still offensive when people make such idiotic statements. We just look at them like, you are so stupid, and walk away without commenting. Then it's their turn to look confused...

I know exactly what you all are talking about. What does "she has long hair for a dark skinned girl" mean? What is "pretty for a dark skinned girl?" What's even sadder is that people think these statements are to be taken as COMPLIMENTS
We, as a people, still have some ways to go...but, when we hear others make ignorant comments (such as "good hair," etc. ) it is our DUTY to ask people to defend their statements and to challenge eachother. Lawd, don't get me started....

[Happydaysf91]

I know what you mean. I have a friend who is brown complexion with nice hair. She has numerous family members of different shades. One day we were talking about these two girls in school that didn't associate with us (the black people). One particular group of friends we had didn't like those two girls at all and would make it known. My friend I was talking to made a comment that they, our other friends (who happened to be dark brown to light brown ladies), probably didn't like the other girls, the light skinned ladies, because they were light skin. She was like, you know how dark skinned ladies hate on light skin ladies...I just looked at her. Then I kindly responded, 'no, I don't know'!

Now, I'm not light skinned (I'm light brown) and neither was my friend...so in essence, she was saying that I as well as her own self hate on light skinned people. I was thinking, did she think before she said this ....obviously not!

[DELTAQTE]

Well I understand being offended by "oh you're pretty to be dark skinned" and the running the fingers through the hair which are unacceptable. But I guess I just can't understand that if it IS your hair, then why not be proud and say "yes this is my hair"? Especially since you come from a family that is blessed to have beautiful hair.

yes I know white women use fake hair now, but that didn't start just now, Bo Derek started that a long time ago with her cornroll self. So do latino women now it seems.

I've heard all those other comments(baby making machines, etc) about other races just as well, but I am trying to stay on topic!




QTE

[ChaosDST]

Just observing references to "nice" and "beautiful" hair. I'm wondering what folks are meaning when they use these terms.

[Special1920]

Originally posted by DELTAQTE
Well I understand being offended by "oh you're pretty to be dark skinned" and the running the fingers through the hair which are unacceptable. But I guess I just can't understand that if it IS your hair, then why not be proud and say "yes this is my hair"? Especially since you come from a family that is blessed to have beautiful hair.

yes I know white women use fake hair now, but that didn't start just now, Bo Derek started that a long time ago with her cornroll self. So do latino women now it seems.

I've heard all those other comments(baby making machines, etc) about other races just as well, but I am trying to stay on topic!
Wasn't trying to get off topic, just using examples of how generalizations are often wrong !
If your question about being proud was being asked of me, then my answer is I'm neither proud nor ashamed of my hair. Hair has never been a priority in my life. I'm proud of being one of the first in my family to go to college and graduate, I'm proud to have waited to have children, instead of being a teenage mother, I'm proud to be a Zeta, I'm proud of a great many things, but hair is just not one of them(trying to stay on topic). I never looked at my hair as a BLESSING. IMHO, I just think it's an inappropiate question, but I realize that some people just don't see it that way.




QTE

[kiml122]

Originally posted by Special1920
Everyone asking me is that your hair? Or you got on a weave?

I was attending this function last week and the young girl in the program asked this young woman if her hair was real. The young woman had long black hair. When the young girl asked her this question I couldnt do nothing but shake my head and laugh, because I thought of this thread. The gall of some people I tell ya.

[ClassyLady]

Okay, my hair comes just below my shoulders. It used to be longer than that but in high school, I started cutting it in a very short bob. But now, I like the length that it is. It is also very soft, so soft that I can straighten it with just my blow dryer.

I have heard so many comments about whether it is mine or not. Those don't really bother me because I know that our people find it hard to believe that some of us actually have long hair. What gets me is when they question my heritage. Why can't I just be black? I have gotten so many questions like "You got Indian in your family?" or "Your sisters are light so y'all must be part Puetro Rican." I'm used to it now though. When people ask, "What you mixed with?", I say "My momma and my daddy."

I am a big fan of the sewn in weave. For me, it gives me and my hair a much needed break from the rigors of styling, curling, and relaxing. I wear weaves in the same style that I wear my natural hair in because I'm not looking to do anything drastic. People ask if it is mine all of the time. When someone I don't know asks, I say yes. But, people I know always get the truth. Actually, most of them ask for the name and number of my hairdresser because it looks so natural.

Like I said, I'm not ashamed to admit that I wear weave. But, I will not tolerate people conducting their own "hands-on" evaluations. One day, I girl I barely knew just walked up and put her hand in my head to "feel for the tracks." I let her know right then and there her know that she had best to keep her hands to herself because next time, she'll be pulling back a nub.

[SH80er]

I know you all are going to kill me.
But, WTF are tracks???

[wanabe]

*gasps* *!!!!*

[Sugar_N_Spice]

Originally posted by SH80er
I know you all are going to kill me.
But, WTF are tracks???

"Tracks" are hair extensions...A track is hair attached to a weft... (I hope this makes sense)...Tracks can be sewn into our hair (you have your own hair cornrowed to your head, and the track of hair is sewn into the cornrow/braid), glued in via hair glue, or even clipped onto your hair (some tracks come w/ clips attached to them)...

Tracks are very uselful, not just fro lengthening hair, but for also adding fullness to it. I sometimes wear my hair in an almost-shoulder-length bob, and I'll sometimes add a track in the front (to lengthen my bangs to be able to tuck my hair behind my ears), and one or two tracks that are the same length as my own hair at the top of my head for fullness...

[SH80er]

Originally posted by Sugar_N_Spice


"Tracks" are hair extensions...A track is hair attached to a weft... (I hope this makes sense)...Tracks can be sewn into our hair (you have your own hair cornrowed to your head, and the track of hair is sewn into the cornrow/braid), glued in via hair glue, or even clipped onto your hair (some tracks come w/ clips attached to them)...

Tracks are very uselful, not just fro lengthening hair, but for also adding fullness to it. I sometimes wear my hair in an almost-shoulder-length bob, and I'll sometimes add a track in the front (to lengthen my bangs to be able to tuck my hair behind my ears), and one or two tracks that are the same length as my own hair at the top of my head for fullness...

Interesting....
I've always wondered how they did it.
I knew if I asked someone that, in person, they'll probably slap me.