A few questions...help please?

[AXOrushadvisor]

I completely understand why you would want to know all these questions. Going through recruitment can be a mysterious process and I don't think we always do a good job at preparing our PNM's for the process. I'll attempt to answer your questions and be nice.

You don't really "eliminate" the Chapters you rank them- I think we give you the false impression that if you list them last you will not be invited back. This is not the case. I'm assuming you had a full schedule because there are 12 Chapters at UC Irvine. You went to 12 then ranked them and got 9- great! Then you ranked your 9 and you got 4 back! Still very good progress. I would bet my last dollar you have a better schedule than 1/2 the girls going through recruitment. No Chapters are "desperate" for women. Recruitment is a mutual selection process and every chapter has a different number of total women. The houses that you think are desperate will have just as big of a new member class as any other group on Campus AND they will be a group of wonderful women- trust me on this one. I would strongly suggest you go through the process and join a group. Why do you want to miss a year of sisterhood, dances, date parties and all the super fun stuff that goes on???

Membership selection is a private matter, but usually groups are all "looking" for similar things. On someones thread they gave you some really good examples of what Chapters may be looking for. My group happens to be very open about what we look for and it is listed on our National web site.

If you are a legacy we know you're a legacy. Being a legacy does not mean your going to get an invitation back to any party except after the first round (I believe most if not all groups courtesy invite back legacies) If you were a legacy to a Chapter and they released you it is just a part of recruitment. Being a legacy is no guarantee for membership. Some PNM's go into parties thinking if they are a legacy they are a shoe in. That can be the kiss of death and it is a fast path to being released.

My advice to you is to fully participate with the groups you have. Be nice get to know the girls in the 4 houses you have left. You might find a real connection with 1 or 2 of them. We read about that all the time on this site. Stop listening to all the gossip. In my experience this has gotten PNM's into more trouble. Good luck to you.

[als463]

Originally Posted by jf_eighty9

1. So today is the second night of rush at our school. Last night, we vistied 9 houses and narrowed them down to 7. When I got the houses who I was supposed to visit, I got two of the ones which I was iffy about and the two which I eliminated the night before. Please also note that the two I didn't want were REALLY desperate for girls to join (one is a new one and the other I just didn't feel a "connection" with). I was wondering something. I want to want until tomorrow night to see if the two I liked call me back. If they don't, should I drop it and re-rush next year? (Preferance Night and Bid Night aren't for a few more days.)

2. Exactly how do the sororities call back the girls? When I visited the houses, the RC would give us papers with our names and recruitment ID # on it. When we were paired up with a girl from the sorority we were visiting, we would give her paper and she would do something with it. What do they do with the paper? And how do they decide?

3. If you listed yourself as legacy, do they actually check it? I'm a legacy in two of the sororities. Both of which I was dropped from and I found it weird because I thought I had a connection with one of them.

I appreciate all the help I can get with these questions.

By the way, my school is UC Irvine (UCI).

There's that "I didn't feel a connection" crap, again! Stop with that bad attitude and thinking you are "too good" for these other houses that were supposedly "desperate" for a girl. I wish those chapters luck in finding incredible women who don't have your attitude.

Don't just drop out. Why are there so many girls coming on the board now saying they want to drop out? Is this the generation that is next in line? I can't even imagine just dropping out because I didn't get all the chapters back I wanted. If you really care about being Greek (and you need to think about what being Greek even means-it isn't just popularity and parties) then you will give every chapter an equal shot. If you don't-I will not feel bad for you because you were too much of a snob to accept your bid and give those women the opportunity to show you what great things can come out of being in an NPC.

P.S. I doubt those girls were "desperate"-I just think you need to get over yourself.

[Bella796]

Does anyone else think the OP lied about being a legacy and they found out and dropped her b.c of that? just reading between the lines, not sure why anyone would ask something like that.

Also to the OP, maybe what you find "desperate" is actually the organization's love and enthusiasm for their chapter. They probably feel you would be a great fit and are conveying that in being overly enthused. I think you should think about the reasons you want to join a sorority, if you only want to join the "top" house or the house with the prettiest girls etc.. you should know that as you get older these things matter less and less. Try to look at the big picture and what lifetime sisterhood and bonds mean. Trust me when I tell you that it is not about who wins homecoming, or does socials with the best fraternities. Every sorority stands for something much deeper and it's the life lessons and rituals that make you want to be a better person that really matter.

Good luck but I think you need to change your attitude and figure out what you really want.

[myopicsunflower]

Originally Posted by jf_eighty9

1. So today is the second night of rush at our school. Last night, we vistied 9 houses and narrowed them down to 7. When I got the houses who I was supposed to visit, I got two of the ones which I was iffy about and the two which I eliminated the night before. Please also note that the two I didn't want were REALLY desperate for girls to join (one is a new one and the other I just didn't feel a "connection" with). I was wondering something. I want to want until tomorrow night to see if the two I liked call me back. If they don't, should I drop it and re-rush next year? (Preferance Night and Bid Night aren't for a few more days.)

...

By the way, my school is UC Irvine (UCI).

Regarding re-rushing next year...honestly, your chances are probably best now. While sophomores and juniors do receive bids at UCI, freshmen make up the bulk of new member classes. The sororities that asked you back liked you. I'd give them a chance.

I also have to say...discretion is a good thing.