University of Mississippi - Ole Miss Panhellenic Sorority Recruitment 2013

[OleMissAnchor]

I can't speak to the Greek Life office's policies or from an advisor standpoint. Ole Miss is just a whole 'nother animal compared to where I live and volunteer now.

I agree that the centrality of frat parties to the sorority recruitment scene is not ideal from a risk management standpoint or a socialization standpoint. It sets the tone that the primary reason for Greek life at Ole Miss is alcohol and parties, when it can be so much more. I wish parties where alcohol is present weren't so central to the pre-recruitment scene. But they're a fact, so savvy PNMs going to Ole Miss should be aware of them and how they might affect their recruitment.

I say, don't drink. It's illegal, could be dangerous and could lead to bad behavior that affects recruitment. But most Greek groups use the parties as a neutral place to meet potential new members. It's also a place where freshmen meet. So the PNM who avoids them entirely will miss out on meeting many potential fellow new members, as well as upperclassmen sorority sisters. A PNM won't be judged for abstaining at the parties, because the point before recruitment is meeting and greeting, not getting wasted.

You can go Greek at Ole Miss without hitting the party scene, but PNMs who so so need to make a much bigger effort to meet sorority women through on-campus activities, church, etc. That's my #1 piece of advice for PNMs at Ole Miss--get out there and MEET PEOPLE! And, don't make a fool of yo' self.

[OleMissAnchor]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

My biggest worry was that she was being sent on a trip very far from home to meet with strangers to go drinking and that it was arranged by alumnae. That seemed very very risky to me.

Here is something else that no one has mentioned which I think is important that has nothing to do with the drinking and not drinking problem. When no one knows you and you go to parties with a group of XYZ members as their guests for the weekend and even if you also are going to some other parties with the ABC members or whatnot, people are going to associate you with those sororities. That can limit your options very fast sorry to say so you better be sure you like those sororities a lot and hope they like you and want to bid you.

Old_Row, you made a great point and this is very accurate. If a PNM does attend parties and is hosted by a certain sorority, it will be a part of "her story." If she does it multiple times with a single house, it may reduce her appeal to other houses who think they won't have a chance with her; at the same time, she is not guaranteed a spot with the women who host her.

It's OK to stay with women from one group. It's not the kiss of death to do it once, maybe twice, but PNMs should make an effort to meet women from as many houses as possible. It's not to your advantage to cling too tightly to one house where a bid isn't guaranteed.

[Hearttoheart]

As an OOS mom who's daughter is going through recruitment at Ole Miss this fall, OleMissAnchor hit the nail on the head.

Her past few posts are exactly as we were told about the greek scene.

The high school seniors who are attending these spring parties are not being encouraged to drink by alumnae, and they are not exactly staying with complete strangers. Often times, it is the sorority officers and recruitment teams who are doing the inviting. The girls who are drinking are still being warned not to make fools of themselves. We have heard from several sources that girls are being cut from lists based on their behavior at these parties. Girls do need to be warned that their behavior could make or break a successful recruitment.

Ole Miss is a very competitive recruitment and often times party lists are made in advance. You have to get on their radars early! The Savvy PNM knows this! From an OOS perspective, these parties are the only way for OOS girls to meet sorority girls. Clearly Mississippi girls, especially those from Jackson, have the advantage here as they went to high school with girls in each house. My daughter was grateful for the opportunities that presented themselves to her in the way of invitations to these spring parties.

Trust me, I have been clutching my pearls since April!

[OleMissAnchor]

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

Trust me, I have been clutching my pearls since April!

Isn't this the story of Ole Miss recruitment in one sentence ?!

There's a lot of talk about how difficult it is now that recruitment is in the middle of the semester. I agree the timing's awful for academics and it does stress everyone out. PNMs are on tenterhooks, waiting to find their place and compete amongst each other while actives get stuck with weeks of recruitment practice and all sorts of other things......

....but, on a positive note, I do think it helps PNMs make a wider variety of friends at different houses. For one, they're with an unaffiliated group of freshman women for several weeks. Cliques will form, but they'll get spread out over several houses post-recruitment. Those first friendships can be intense, and sometimes do last. Mine did. Compared to my parents' friends, I think I was able to make friendships and have a more "Panhellenic" social life than women in previous generations.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Titchou

DBB - I think you need to read over your post and edit

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

There's an awful lot of pearl-clutching in this thread. I agree that PNMs should make fools of themselves, but if alcohol is a normal part of the social life at a university (as it obviously is/was at mine), it's really ridiculous to act like a young woman is of poor character for having a beer or two.

DUH. PNMs should NOT make fools of themselves.

Risk Management is one thing, and is absolutely an issue for the sponsoring groups; acting like a woman is a harlot because she attended a party is outdated and quite frankly, pretty sexist if you are going to give the men a pass at the same time.

[HQWest]

There's a difference between taking some friends from high school to a baseball game or having them meet you at a mutual friend's lake house for barbeque and an all-out kegger or toga party.

Going along with a friend to introduce you to people an mind your p's and q's is one thing. Not really knowing what is up is dangerous.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by HQWest

There's a difference between taking some friends from high school to a baseball game or having them meet you at a mutual friend's lake house for barbeque and an all-out kegger or toga party.

Going along with a friend to introduce you to people an mind your p's and q's is one thing. Not really knowing what is up is dangerous.

And sending a girl to stay with people she basically met on Facebook? Assuming they're OK just because they're in sororities? That makes all my organs churn and I don't even have a kid.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Risk Management is one thing, and is absolutely an issue for the sponsoring groups; acting like a woman is a harlot because she attended a party is outdated and quite frankly, pretty sexist if you are going to give the men a pass at the same time.

Everything I said about HS girls, I'm sure men would think of HS guys the same way, as well. I realize there are different campus cultures, but HS guys wouldn't even get within 50 feet of one of our houses (unless, as I said, they are accompanied by a friend or bio-sibling who stays glued to them).

[Hearttoheart]

Originally Posted by 33girl

And sending a girl to stay with people she basically met on Facebook? Assuming they're OK just because they're in sororities? That makes all my organs churn and I don't even have a kid.

I assumed they were okay for my daughter to stay with because they were personal friends and/or family members of the Alumnae we did know. The girls who invited her to stay with them lived in the dorms on campus, not some random seedy apartment on the wrong side of the tracks. Most high school seniors have already turned 18 by the spring of their senior year. Hopefully by the time our children are 18, they are set to make responsible decisions all on their own, they are adults after all.

As far as staying with girls she met on Facebook, essentially, that is exactly how she found her roommate that she will be living with next year. (Ole Miss's housing website links to Facebook so the kids can check out potential roommates). I am assuming her roommate is okay.... (she looks adorable on Facebook)

I'm sorry I made your organs churn, maybe by the time you have children of your own, you will understand that 18 year olds ARE adults capable of attending a party on their own with out parental supervision.

I apologize for sharpening my claws here..... I asked for advice on how PNM's should act prior to recruitment on a campus known for being a party school, I did not ask for parenting advice from someone who has yet to raise a child.

[WhiteRose1912]

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

I'm sorry I made your organs churn, maybe by the time you have children of your own, you will understand that 18 year olds ARE adults capable of attending a party on their own with out parental supervision.

Because only parents have ever been 18.

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

I apologize for sharpening my claws here..... I asked for advice on how PNM's should act prior to recruitment on a campus known for being a party school, I did not ask for parenting advice from someone who has yet to raise a child.

The only advice I see 33girl giving is on drinking mixed drinks.

[MaryPoppins]

Excuse me ladies, but if anybody starts acting like "two slice" Hilly around here the moderators will come carry you away. Please act like your grandmother is watching and that what you say might end up on the Society page this weekend.

[Hearttoheart]

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

Excuse me ladies, but if anybody starts acting like "two slice" Hilly around here the moderators will come carry you away. Please act like your grandmother is watching and that what you say might end up on the Society page this weekend.

My apologies! I haven't been myself lately.

[HQWest]

That's right - I don't have 1 18-year-old daughter - but I have helped with at least 600 or so daughters by now

[AZTheta]

*crash* what is a "two slice" Hilly?

[MaryPoppins]

Hilly Holbrook, the main antagonist and the town's racist, snooty ringleader from The Help. Hilly could get very testy and did things to others most normal moral people would deeply regret.

[Old_Row]

I'm still in school. I have been to a lot of parties and obviously I don't have any 18 year olds haha. You have already let her travel far away to party with strangers so however that is going to affect her recruitment is done. This is for any future mommas coming here. I just want to tell you that from a kid's perspective this is a very bad idea. I think parties are probably pretty different than they were in your day and situations can be very bad for someone who is still in high school, far away from home and with people who aren't necessarily going to be there and interested enough or sober enough to always look out for your little girl especially since they don't know her. Bad stuff happens all the time. It's not a good idea.