This sounds so familiar to me and my chapter.
"Issues" also arose within my chapter and our brother fraternity. Though rumors had been floating around about the situation, we decided that the best way to handle the situation was to handle it discreetly. Bad reputations were brewing and some of us spoke with our President before it had gotten out of hand. Even though this was of a personal nature, we felt that because it was affecting our Greek relations, chapter authority had to intervene. This way, the entire sorority was not involved, but the two people who could best discuss the situation with her (in my chapter, anyway) was our President and Advisor.
I don't know how the fraternity handled it, but thankfully everything's slowly becoming more civil.
I hope that I was of some help and I wish you luck with your Greek relations.
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