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I think the responses that suggested you take away privileges, toys, etc. are fine. Talking to them at that age, well, there's only so much they understand. I believe she understands right from wrong, but trying to rationalize with a 4-year old, well, it ain't gonna work. At 4, she is asserting her independence, and also probably learing some stuff in school.
And this may just be the beginning. My almost 10 year old (she'll be 10 on Friday) has a smart mouth as well, but she gets a lot of that from me. Kids pick up on the things we do and say, and I didn't realize just how much I said until I heard it repeated from her. Usually though, all it took (and still takes) is "the look".
Now Pink Bug, you sound like you have a problem. Believe me, my child was no angel, but the screaming and throwing toys thing? Never happened in my house. Wanna talk about taking things away? Next time she throws toys at you, get the garbage can, load it up, and take them away. You can temporarily put them in the garage or something, but she needs to learn that throwing toys and screaming are not the way.
Also, when you "threaten", follow through. They'll soon enough pick up on what you say and what you really mean.
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Just a little too lazy to come up with a siggie right now.
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