If your side of the family is paying for the rehearsal dinner, they should decide who goes
I would agree with the basic advise to have a heart to heart with your brother. Perhaps he doesn't realize that your feelings are hurt b/c he's preoccupied with the idea of getting married, other issues in his life, and his fiancee (who could be a handful judging from what you're saying).
__________________ Yes, I will judge you for your tackiness.
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