Thoughts about leaving

[adpiucf]

I think we tend to get caught up in a lot of petty girlish nonsense that really has no bearing on the real world. Like who we should choose as our partners for homecoming, our date for formal, another sister dating your crush, etc... I think it is important to take a step back when these things happen and remember that while belonging to a sorority creates a sense of this "home away from home," you are going to be close friends with a small percentage of your chapter--- every "Sister" shares similiar values (that is why they chose to join and were invited to become a member), but they don't owe you undying loyalty and friendship. I know-- that sounds like blasphemy! But I can remember my junior year. I was working full time, interning, classes, etc... and I couldn't come out to a lot of sorority stuff. And you know what? I was MAD at my sorority. Mad that people weren't calling me, inviting me to things, or wanting to hang out, etc... what I neglected to realize was that my close friends were there to support me and be with me and it was MY OWN DAMN FAULT FOR BEING INACCESSIBLE TO THE SORORITY AND NOT COMMUNICATING THAT I WAS GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME. How could I expect 180 sisters (about 165 or so were more friendly acquaintances than best friends forever) to know that I was stressed out and feeling neglected?

I look back and remember-- getting into a really bad car accident and getting cards and flowers and gifts from sisters --- breaking up with a bf and having sisters hold and hug me and write me little notes -- hanging out at fraternity houses with sisters -- exercising with sisters -- living in the house -- going to class together --- going shopping together... etc.

I think we get resentful when we stop making an effort and don't communicate our stress or stop coming around... and expect the rest of the world to stop and notice we're sad or angry. The sorority doesn't owe you that-- we share membership in an organization-- not an obligation to stop our lives and bang down the door of someone who has turned into a sour, reclusive and unfriendly person.

However, sometimes, I DO think that if you're "over it" and you've tried to make an effort, it IS best to walk away. I don't see a point in making yourself miserable in anticipation of some future payoff. If you aren't making good friends and enjoying the experience the majority of the time, and it is interfering with your school, work and life, than yes, it's probably a good time to have a heart to heart with yourself about what makes you happy and what you can do to improve your situation. But I wouldn't bolt and run away at the first sign of trouble.

Being in a sorority is like being in any relationship--- relationships take work by both parties... so if times get tough and you don't communicate that and your feelings to the sorority.... how is anyone supposed to be there for you?

ETA: I think a lot of GLO's are recognizing that upperclassmen have different needs and are experimenting with programs to integrate these women back into the chapter and into alumnae opportunities, in order to feed their interests and serve their needs.