No, most abusive relationships do not start abusive. That gives the chance for the abuser and the victim to bond. The "victim" looks back on the good times and even in the worst of times hopes they'll return. There's even a chance that they love each other. Many women blame themselves for being abused (If I didn't make him mad, he wouldn't have hit me.) There are also financial considerations, not to mention religious beliefs come into play.
Emotional abuse is a whole other game. It's just as vicious as physical abuse, but the abused person feels terrible because there's no physical/tangible evidence of the abuse. It's hard for someone to realize they are being emotionally abused. The abuser's constant verbal abuse cuts the person down until she/he feels like the most insignificant pointless being on the face of the planet. This does nothing but reinforce in his/her mind that no one else could ever love him/her so the only option is to stay. It's a vicious cycle.
You will never truly understand what it is like. Don't pretend you know or understand.
Quote:
Originally posted by James
I am not sure disagreeing with you is ignorant. Or not toeing the party line on issues others find emotional.
Most abusive relationships don't start out extremely abusive. Leaveing earlier seems a better solution that being killed or killing someone else.
Now if you want to talk about a failure of social models, in that many people cannot evaluate or differentiate between varies degrees of relationships or dangers; Or that many people don't know how to respond correctly to unfamiliar situations and how that can lead to a series of wrong decisions that can be very detrimental that would be more useful . . .
But a lot of the viewpoints are merely politically correct.
Also, I am not sure where I made snide and untrue comments about you in this thread, point them out to me please.
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