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Humour is your best bet at deflecting mild things.
A lot of what you are talking about is an issue of manners. Or politeness. Its not polite to mention things in conversations that are going to make others upset.
However, the person in question may not know that such and such a comment will upset you.
And honestly, we are a little touchy in the USA when it comes to some stuff.
So you have to assess how much of the issue is your own sensitivity. Like should you be bothered? Is it a chip on your shoulder?
If someone with very olive skin and a tan was in the office and the chinese chap made the same comment about being tan and the other person, would that be offensive?
Anyway, for the things that do bother you its not a bad idea to role-play some semi humorous responses in advance to make the person think.
For example, when the guy said your kind. You might have smiled and asked, which kind? If he said black, you might have responded in a humorous tone with " You do realize that not all black people are the same don't you?"
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