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Hottytoddy, I think that's a BIT different???
Banter between friends and throwing around the word all the time in daily life just ain't the same. They know [probably] you don't hate them for who they are, they [probably] can take it in the spirit it is meant.
It's a whole world away from conversations (of people aged over 8) like "you got a pen?" "yeah you can have this one but it's a bit gay" etc...
Would the replacement of a more sensitive word be so acceptable? "you got a pen?" "yeah you can have this one but it's a bit negro". No of course not (!!!) - there'd be outcry if people went around saying that - and rightly so. But one minority group is not acceptable to use in this way more than the next.
Using adjectives (however spelt) which refer to a minority group to say something is bad or sub-par isn't okay. Respecting different sensibilities is about maturity. Comments like "there's this guy and he's gay and he's just fiiiine with it" don't change it. Often, people do have a problem with it, whether they say so or not. And they aren't at fault for having a problem with it when part of who they are is used an a synonym for nasty, substandard, annoying.
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