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Hey! A rush question I can answer!
This semester my chapter is doing a bowling night, a pottery-making night, a info/craft night, and our most Popular Night, Body Soul & Fondue.
On BS&F night we make chocolate fondue and dip fresh fruit into it, then have some spa activities - backrubs, manicures, pedicures, etc. We do this the night before Pref so that way we really get a chance to sit down and chat with all the ladies.
Other popular nights we've done are sledding (in the right weather, obviously), kickball, volleyball, and a cookout. You need to do something that appeals to the PNMs but is also a good way to get to know them - otherwise they'll think you're fun but won't be able to fall in love with you! (We learned this the hard way, unfortunately.)
Per the alcohol issue, we obviously couldn't do it because we're national, but the locals on our campus also stay away from it during recruitment. Yeah, we drink with our sisters, but our sisterhood isn't about drinking. Oftentimes after a recruitment event some of us will be rush hostesses at a fraternity, so we'll say to the PNMs "Some of us are going over to Sigma Pi/SigEp after this to play volleyball/watch football/pick our noses, and it is not a Gamma Phi event at all, but we'd love it if any of you would like to come with us." Tom's wine&cheese is actually a great idea, and that might fly as long as you also had some sparkling grape juice for the non-drinkers.
One thing that I also really stress is to make sure transportation is available - nobody wants to walk to our house from DormLand in the winter, so we say "Call Gamma Phi at 555-1212 for a ride to our house!" We also always make sure to drive the girls home if they didn't drive over.
Good luck!
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