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How close are the two of you?
It doesn't sound like you are very close, especially if you know for sure that she asked others months ago.
I would explain to her just what you told us - that you've already been asked to be in another wedding and that finances are tight, but maybe there's some other way you could help out. Stand guard over the gifts, help out at the reception, or something else. If she has a problem with it, then she can pay for your dress and shoes that you probably won't like anyway.
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