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It's amazing to me that certain...preconceptions... still exist today.
AGD,
The most important part of this equation is how you and your b/f feel about each other and how he treats you. You're a grown woman and not subject to the control of your parents or anyone else. Your mom (I'm sure she means well) has absolutely no business whatsoever putting her nose in your relationship with your b/f. For that matter, neither does anyone else.
You need to consider your feelings for this man. The question you need to ask yourself is not, "is he worth disappointing my family over," rather, "is your relationship with him worth standing up for?" From the way you describe him, he sounds like a real gentleman who treats you with respect (something many men in our age group need to work on). Even if your family can't see past the pigmentation in his skin, they will certainly notice the manner in which he treats you. They'll get over it.
If you and your b/f are willing to stick this out, then nothing else matters.
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