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Old 10-31-2003, 03:11 AM
MareImbrium MareImbrium is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Torrance, CA
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I have quite a few. Here they are.

1) No Parking
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city and attached the following message to his windshield: "I have circled this block 10 times. I have an appointment to keep. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned to his car he found this reply attached to his own note, along with a ticket: I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I lost my job. Lead us not into temptation."

2) Irreverent Manipulation
Little Benjamin sat down at the desk to write a letter to God asking for a little baby sister. He started the letter like this:

Dear God, I've been a very good boy...

He stopped, thinking. No, God won't believe that. He wadded up the piece of paper, threw it away, and started again:

Dear God, most of the time I've been a good boy...

He stopped in the middle of the line, again thinking, God won't be moved by this. So he wadded up the letter and into the trash can it went.
Benjamin then went into the bathroom and grabbed a big terry cloth towel off the towel rack. He carried it into the living room and carefully laid it out on the couch. He smoothed out all the wrinkles. Then he went over to the fireplace mantle, reached up, and very carefully lifted down a statue of the Madonna. He had often seen his mother carefully dust the statue, and he had eyed it many times. On several occassions, his parents had told him that he could look but was not to touch the statue. Now, with all the care he could muster, he had it in his possession.
Benjamin gently placed the statue in the middle of the towel, carefully folding over the edges. He then placed a rubber band around the whole thing. He brought it to the desk, took out another piece of paper, and began to write his third letter to God. It went like this:

Dear God, if you ever want to see your mother again...
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