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My husband and I have been having the same fight every day for about a month...
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We did that for about a year. Then we went to marriage counseling. It's helped us see that we aren't going to budge in our positions, the issue we were fighting over wasn't important, and that there are many new exciting fights for us to have, if only we'd get past this first one.
Our fights do have the same cycle:
Me - it's logical
Him - you can't ever be wrong, can you?
Me - fine, you're right. Are you happy?
Him - now you're just patronizing me, and even though you say I'm right, you still *believe* that you're right. You can't ever be wrong.
Me - I give up, I want to go to bed (this usually plays out late at night)
Him - great, now we can't even resolve the issue because you're not willing to work it out
AAAACCCCCKKKKK!! Usually, we start off disagreeing about one thing and it spirals from there. Because we have our own "style" the disagreements tend to end up right back in the middle of a fight we had last week or last month. It's not healthy.
So now that I've provided TMI, are you fighting about a specific issue, or is it that your way of disagreements always brings to back to the same thing?
James - Not quite sure your analysis applies at all to DH and I.
ETA - The counseling really had helped us communicate better. We have made leaps and bounds. We did really well for about six months, and worked through some major events that were very stressful. We're just stuck in a low cycle at the moment.
Hybrid Mode
