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I think that each person should decide which option best suits him or her.
I would never, ever change my name/take a man's name. I would not hyphenate either because first I don't see the point of it and second my last name is very long and difficult, and I would never want to add to it.
In an ideal world, everyone would accept the choices that people make with respect to their names. When I got married, I kept my name and we still got things addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Hisname Hisname. That annoyed me to no end!
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