breaking up?

[James]

You know its wierd, you went out with him for two years and you really read him wrong.

I mean thats a really big misread of his reaction. Almost like you didn't really know him anywhere near as well as you thought.

I am not sure if you meant to, but you made him sound like he was really controlling and that the stuff he did to help you out, was actually done to be manipulative.

You said you feel like he betrayed you by making you open a joint bank account with him . . . when he gave you money.

He got you a car, he gave you money, and made life comfortable for you. I also asume that he bought you other stuff as well as paid for dating expenses? LOL, there are girls that deal with controlling men that take them to Mcdonalds, make them pay, and won't open car doors.

Anyway to my point:

What I have noticed is that both men and women will not be themselves because they want to please their partner and avoid what they think of us as potential conflict.

But I have been friends with both sides before and got a chance tot alk to them and I'll find something peculiar. Usually the partner isn't really holding the other person back. The other person just generally thinks they are.

It has boggled my mind before. Because basically the one partner believes that the other partner will get mad or yell at them if they do something they want to do, when generally the one partner doesn't care.

The only correlation I have found is that one partner usually has a stronger personality than the other one.

But what I have noticed is that this can really destroy the relationship over time, because the partner that thinks theya re being limited starts blaming the other person for missed opportunities, missed opportunities that many times they never even tried to take. Once they start getting bitter, its all been ruined.

The clincher though, is that somtimes they are missing stuff they would never have done anyway. But they are still blaming the other person.

Anybody else see this happen?