Firts things first...please excuse the typos. I just re-read my post and geesh...I must've been too excited.
kkool, that's cool that you would say that. A woman should put her children first and foremost and the fact that you would utilize that as measurement to decide if she's right for you or not is commendable. My boyfriend's dad told him also that the older he gets, the less likely he will be dating women WITHOUT children. That is just a fact of life. If you wait until you are 45 to get married, she may have a child already (exaggerating the age, but you get the picture).
AKAtude, despite the fact that I do have a child...I hear you. I respect the fact that for many people, they would just rather not deal with the extras. Unfortunately, I think we have it rougher. This may sound hypocritical, but women can TRIP! Due to the fact that we are usually the primary caregivers, we feel that we have RIGHTS over everyone involved. Calling, following, etc. So if you're the NEW girlfriend, you witness all that. However (and I know this isn't always the case) men tend to step off when there is a mutual agreement that the relationship will not work despite the child. If you are the new man in the relationship, you may or may not see the brothah. Unless there is the establishment of a long-term relationship in which case everybody needs to TRY and get along.
Piggybacking off of kitten03...I feel ya. The assumption that either parent is deadbeat or that the NEW person is some how so much better than the mom/dad is prevalent in these situations. My son's dad is not deadbeat AT ALL. It seems like some men have a problem with that. It seems, like I stated before, that they would prefer that I be dang near homeless, on welfare and NEED them to step in and be the new stepfather and take care os us, than just (as you stated) be nice to me and my child.
Additionally, I am very self-sufficient and I think that, different from women's attitudes with dating men with children, men feel that there is this LOAD of responsibility that comes along with the package. I can take care of myself and my booty-bear, just be a boyfriend. If we are talking marriage, or if we last more than a year or two, then start talking responsibility.
[This message has been edited by DELTABRAT (edited February 02, 2001).]
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