It sounds like you might benefit from seeing a therapist or psychiatrist. Depression is a medical condition, and there is treatment available. You have been suffering on your own for far too long.
Of course, we're here for you if you want to talk. It might, however, be time to enlist the help of a professional. Good luck, and let us know how you're doing!!
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A hiney bird is a bird that flies in perfectly executed, concentric circles until it eventually flies up its own behind and poof! disappears forever....
-Ken Harrelson
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