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This is a somewhat odd question, but do you use earplugs???
I didn't like them at first, but they can help a LOT. Buy some and try (the foam ones are good), and it might help you enough so that you don't have to deal with your neighbour.
If that doesn't work, I'd sit down and seriously talk to her. If you need to involve aomeone else and amediator, do that too. She needs to learn that even though you have problems, you need to respect thin walls, especially when you've voiced concerns.
-M
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