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Pledge, I can really understand some of where you're coming from. It's obvious that you care a lot about your sisters and your chapter and making everything work. That is great that you've found something to put effort into. People like you that take sororities seriously really improve sisterhood.
HOWEVER, you came to this forum looking for advice. All people can tell you is their impression of the situation, and the only impression we have is what you give us. You are probably not a negative person, but we have nothing else to base your personality on but the posts you write. It just seems like you've had a lot of difficulties within your organization- not your fault, I'd probably be upset too. That's bound to make anyone seem upset or angry. All I'm saying is that while you're probably a really sweet girl who just wants everything to work out, other people might be getting the same impression we are.
Anyways, I totally feel you, I hated my house for the first year. I COB'd and they totally forgot about me! I didn't even have a mailbox until I was a sophomore! LOL now it's funny but at the time I felt totally worthless and invisible.
I can only tell you that things will either get 100% better with time, or you'll decide it's not for you. My house has a lot of cliques as well, and the truth is, the people you were best friends with your first year probably won't even be around in 2 years, and you will almost definitely have a different best friend. Nothing is set in stone and once people stop worrying about who's 'cool' in your pledge class, everyone will start to mesh better, I promise.
Until then, find someone who seems a little out of the loop, too, and together you guys should be able to get the scoop on everything going on.
So so sorry this was a novel but I'm just hearing a voice that sounds a lot like mine used to.
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