A Picture is Worth 1000 Words -- Tell The Story

[exquizit]

Bertha leans in to speak to Ida in private.....

Bertha : "Ida, I need ta ask ya sumethin pursonul. "

Ida: What's got yo wig in a knot? Spit it out. These shoes about to tear my corns up!"

Bertha: "Well, I on't really know how ta ask dis.........."

Ida getting irritated: "Turn dat dayum hearin aid up! I just said spit it out!"

Bertha: " Don't hurry me !! You ak jus like Leroy when you do that !"

Ida even more irritated: "You gots about one mo second befo I go home and soak deez feet in some epsom salts."

Bertha head down talkin to the ground"Ok, um, have you ever had that not so fresh feeling?"

Ida at the top of her lungs, eyes wide"WHAT?" "NOT SO FRESH FEELING?" "Chile no, but I tell ya, somebody in rehearsal did. I was sangin as usual and caught a wiff! I was like who in da hell let dey cat outta tha bag?"

Bertha: "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Errbody out hea don't need to know what we talkin bout!"

Ida: " Chile, trus me, anyone in that chuch wit a nose know bout dat! It don't take nuttin but some Dial soap or a lil brown Lysol in yo baff wata to clean dem areas good. You on't eva smell Ida Brown! I know dat!"

Bertha: "But Ida..."

Ida cutting in: I don't know how sum uh dez womens don't clean good! I know I wants my man to keep givin me my special attention, so I be clean as a wissle"

Bertha: "Ida I wuz gonna tell you............"

just as Ida was about to go into another rant , the pastor's wife calls out to everyone from the front of the church

Pastor's wife: "Ladies, before you all leave I just want to talk to you ladies about the impo-tance uv female folks cleanliness. Today it was noted that sumbody seemed to be havin a problem dis evenin..........."

Bertha looks down, Ida get's pissed and the pastor's wife has no idea what she just asked for

To be continued.........