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I agree. Matt thanks for posting that link and especially for your kind words and eloquently expressed thoughts. By the way, that story is from a book titled "Out On Fraternity Row" which I discovered in the bookstore four years ago.
I wanted to send a copy to the individual concerned here and found one on eBay for $1.00. Coincidentally, it arrived today. I'll send it to him since it's a groundbreaking book with accounts of brothers in many different fraternities coming out. A few are horror stories, some are okay, but the best was the Lambda Chi recounting in the link. It's on page 158. In my opinion, a copy of the book should be in every house of every GLO, because you just never know.
Now I'd like to clarify something. I don't believe this brother is homophobic. He was surprised when I first told him, but we remained very good friends and continued to talk on the phone alot. Maybe too much.
He's perhaps my favorite brother (after my Little Bro). But he's the kind of guy who jumps on someone's trait and characterizes him that way all the time. It's annoying to be constantly labeled "the gay brother", when it's really a very tiny part of who I am. (I have no significant other and have probably had sex with more women than men anyway.)
It's the repetative references that bug the hell out of me. Hey, I might know someone is diabetic but I wouldn't bring it up in every single conversation. What would be the point? The problem is that these epithets have escalated and crossed the line to vulgarity. I told him, Don't call me again.
I'm sure this hurts him, especially since he doesn't even recall what he said. It's hard for me to explain my position in e-mails to him because he thinks it's a sign of affection that he can say such things to me, and that I won't mind. I'm afraid he would think I was kidding if I simply asked him to 'knock it off".
Thanks to everyone who wrote replies, but I've got him 'on hold' and still not sure what to do next.
In ZAX,
Jono
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