I don't think the article is talking about catering to the black man, either. Although, I don't find anything wrong with black men and women catering to one another.
Why are black women always asked to put the same passion into our relationships as we do into our education and career? For years, it was expected and accepted that our men would be missing in action half the time in pursuit of educational or career accalades. We were expected to stand by them, support them, raise the children, feel neglected, and through it all...have a hot dinner waiting for them when they got home.
I'm ALL FOR putting my passion and energy into something that is deserving and from which I can expect (because I deserve it) reciprocation. But, believe that black women have put so much emphasis on education and career because we learned the HARD WAY that we couldn't always count on the black man to be there for us. When times get hard, they tend to leave.
So, when a strong black man comes around...he will be the benefactor of my passion and effort. I will respect his pride and manhood (black men need to feel like the men that they are). At the same time, I will expect him to give me what I'm giving him. We will BOTH be demanded to give the same time and attention to one another that we give to others or to our work. In that, we will also know when "chill time" is necessary so that both of us can go out into the world and achieve. I don't want a man SO IN LOVE WITH ME that he has stopped loving to succeed.
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Originally posted by lovele1978
I don't think that the article is talking about catering to the black man. I had this same discussion with a friend of mine this weekend because we both have very outgoing and sucessful friends (both men and women) who are single and do not understand why. What I got from the article is that if we put the same passion into our relationships that we put into our education, civil activities, careers, etc. then somehow women will find a balance. My aunt once told me that no matter how much money you make, or how much education you have, you have to let a man be a man. That does not mean to let him walk all over you and to be submissive, but to understand and acknowledge that that is his role.
I also agree with Honeykiss that in this era there is a disproportionate amount of educated, successful black women to black men. The ratio sucks. But when we do find one (a good one I mean, not any 'ole joe of the street), we have to treat him like the strong black man we always preach about.
Just my honest opinion.
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