Can Ex's be "just friends"...

[korkscru]

Originally posted by Ideal08


AMEN AMEN AMEN!!!!!



Girl, I am learning this lesson now!!! It took a while, I internalized EVERYTHING, and took it ALL personal. Because when your feelings are hurt, it is personal, y'know? But it dawned on me (literally, as I was driving one day) that there really is nothing wrong with me. Not my stuff.

I agree with pretty much everything that has been said. Closure is definitely needed, or no friendship will exist. The most recent ex and I, I wouldn't say we were friends, but we can be civil towards each other. The same with other ex's. But I talk to none of them on a regular basis.

TIME is of the essence when one is getting over someone. IT TAKES TIME...some longer than others..., but you better believe that when one breaks up with someone (ESPECIALLY if it was someone that you were REALLY into and it was a BITTER break up), TIME is crucial. Becoming friends with an ex is something that has to be CULTIVATED. It is, by NO means, EASY at all because you haveto RELIVE the hurt and pain.

I am BLESSED to have an understanding and loving husband who is also my friend and we talk about past relationships sometimes (we ALWAYS have). It's nothing that I feel that I haveto HIDE from him because he knew from the beginning how I felt about this person at one time. One great point to this is that my husband knows that it was HE who took my mind off of this person. And he knows that it was HE who showed me that I deserved to be loved and treated the RIGHT way.

During the last conversation that I had with my ex, I could hear the regret, and "I wish I would have"-tone in his voice. As a matter of fact, I would always hear that same tone after we were able to talk about what went wrong in our relationship. And to be quite honest, I would get some kind of self-satisfaction in hearing that because, YES, for a while, I wanted pure, unmitigated REVENGE. I mean, this was what I was WAITING to hear. But then I also realized that HE couldn't change the past...and neither could I. We BOTH were young. It's just that I was willing to stick it out and he wasn't. HE missed out. But PRAISE GOD look at what I found instead.