Posted by FuzzieAlum:
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...I would feel bad if I thought I was encouraging her in any way when I knew I would block her membership.
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Yes, that's hard...I see that you're just trying to do the most ethical thing, and take the action that will hurt her the least. It would be awkward to in any way encourage a woman when you are certain that you, and your organization, will not be extending her a bid.
One way I handled this in college was to consistently change the subject whenever a certain woman who lived on my floor asked about ADPi, and since she was quite self-obsessed any question could be answered by bringing the subject back to her life. If she asked, "Do you guys have a lot of socials?" I would answer, "Sure. But you're the one always going out! Where did you meet those guys you were studying with? At a bar or a party?" Then she would happily begin a story about her own life.
With another woman (who had a criminal record, by the way) I would again, just change the subject every time my sorority was brought up. With her it was a bit more dificult, for one I was a bit scared of her (with good reason!
) and second she was just harder to distract. I think in my efforts to be very vague in my answers to all her questions (the woman: "When does ADPi have spring rush?" Me: "oh, you know, they just give me a calendar and tell me when to show up and I do. That's a pretty necklace!") I came off as quite the ditz, and she was a bit turned off. Fine with me, better to be seen as a ditz than become someone she got real angry with!
At any rate, best of luck with this situation...it's one awkward moments of mutually selective membership.
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