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Leslie,
My campus traditions were much like yours. Although, hard to believe, as sorority sisters we got to be as bad as the guys with the junk thrown on them. Traditionally after a candlelight, we'd through the girl in the lake on campus. (I guess if you're starting a tradition, I wouldn't start this. It's totally a hazing issue now!)
But I would agree:
Lavalier - would be serious girlfriend (and at my campus the lavaliered could not wear the fraternity letters yet)
Pinning or Pearling - would be pre-engagement (Gets to wear lavalier if bypassed and wear fraternity letters.)
Engagement - well duh!
And the chapter I now advise has a fourth time around for an alum to come back and announce a legacy.
At some campuses, fraternities do not give away their badges and instead buy a pearl ring or pendant for their significant other.
I would say if you guy is going to ask his gf to marry him at formal, he'd probably want to start out with pinning ceremony first.
It's great that you want to get this tradition back. Do you have a network of alumni advisers or alumni housing board members that you could ask them what specifically was done back "in their day?" I think they'd be honored that you knew they had a life back then!
Heidi
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