What do you feel like saying, right now?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

LOL! You shut her down real quick. You’re a nice looking dude and what most chicks would call a good catch, PB, so I can see why she didn’t care about you being married. She wanted you for herself. Chicks don’t care about the ring on the finger anymore — not with a successful, good looking dude. Did your wife know about it?

Yeah, she knew. She met her and brought it to my attention before I knew, long before the plate of food was offered.

Back then, once a year I was required to attend this black-tie event in Detroit. It’s one of those formal, corporate things. I had been bringing my wife with me to it before we married. Brought her with me that night too. I had introduced her to folks I work with before, so she already knew most of them. But the “plate of food” woman was new like a few others that started with the company that my wife hadn’t met yet. That’s how they met.

I remember it like it was yesterday. My wife wasn’t mad, she just said “That woman in the red dress likes you. The one from your department. The way she looked at you every time you spoke. The way she tried to be near you without being obvious. Kept laughing at your stories a little too hard. Yeah… she likes you. I’m not worried and I’m not mad. Just wanted you to know I saw it.” Something to that effect. But she waited until we got to the car after the event was over to tell me. Long story short, she brought it to my attention so I handled it.

My wife has incredibly good discernment. A wife can sense (even without proof) when something “feels off.” It’s not paranoia, it’s discernment. Women know when another woman’s kindness has undertones, because they know the language behind the smiles. For some women, attention from a married man feels like a bigger “win” than attention from a single man. It’s twisted, but they see it as proof they’re desirable enough to pull someone already claimed. That’s why a lot of them don’t care. That’s all it is.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

The plate of food discussion is reminding me of a story my architect dad told us about the first senior apartments/living center he designed. When the residents moved in the ratio was about 50 women (mostly widows) to 2 widowers. Those guys never had to cook because a bunch of the widows were bringing them food all the time, and it became obvious they were all competing for these two men. At like age 85-90.

So there you go.

Lol so it’s definitely a thing then. Chicks are slick.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Yeah, she knew. She met her and brought it to my attention before I knew, long before the plate of food was offered.

Back then, once a year I was required to attend this black-tie event in Detroit. It’s one of those formal, corporate things. I had been bringing my wife with me to it before we married. Brought her with me that night too. I had introduced her to folks I work with before, so she already knew most of them. But the “plate of food” woman was new like a few others that started with the company that my wife hadn’t met yet. That’s how they met.

I remember it like it was yesterday. My wife wasn’t mad, she just said “That woman in the red dress likes you. The one from your department. The way she looked at you every time you spoke. The way she tried to be near you without being obvious. Kept laughing at your stories a little too hard. Yeah… she likes you. I’m not worried and I’m not mad. Just wanted you to know I saw it.” Something to that effect. But she waited until we got to the car after the event was over to tell me. Long story short, she brought it to my attention so I handled it.

My wife has incredibly good discernment. A wife can sense (even without proof) when something “feels off.” It’s not paranoia, it’s discernment. Women know when another woman’s kindness has undertones, because they know the language behind the smiles. For some women, attention from a married man feels like a bigger “win” than attention from a single man. It’s twisted, but they see it as proof they’re desirable enough to pull someone already claimed. That’s why a lot of them don’t care. That’s all it is.

LMAO! She caught her ass. I get it though, I wouldn’t have caught it. Knowing me, I’d have accepted the plate of food offer not knowing. I didn’t know that was a thing until ol girl said it and what y’all are saying here.

After your wife told you what she saw, you shot that chick down fast Lol. You didn’t leave ambiguity or room for her to try again. And you were kind enough not to embarrass her, but clear enough that she wouldn’t misunderstand. I like that in you, PB.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

After your wife told you what she saw, you shot that chick down fast Lol. You didn’t leave ambiguity or room for her to try again. And you were kind enough not to embarrass her, but clear enough that she wouldn’t misunderstand. I like that in you, PB.

I concur. PB handled it exactly how he should have, very direct, and he kept the door closed. No room for cracks.

[cheerfulgreek]

So…. this is my two cents on the plate thingie…

I just think people act like it’s harmless, but it’s never just about the food. Another woman offering to make a married man a plate isn’t being generous, she’s positioning herself. I mean, it’s not hard to see. I see why it could be for guys to catch on, but for women? Um… no. Not hard at all. We can see it.

And I’ll be honest, I don’t cook, as everyone on here knows, lol. I’ve never been good at it so I just don’t do it at all. Thankfully, I married a man who not only enjoys cooking, he’s excellent at it. But just because I don’t cook doesn’t mean someone else gets to do it for him. I mean, I keep Mr. CG “well fed” without knowing how to cook (trust me, he’s not starving), therefore he doesn’t need unsolicited servings from another kitchen.

At the end of the day, it’s never about the plate of food, it’s about the seat at the table. And that seat is taken.

And WIFLSRN to women who attempt to cross that boundary? Bon appétit somewhere else.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

So…. this is my two cents on the plate thingie…

I just think people act like it’s harmless, but it’s never just about the food. Another woman offering to make a married man a plate isn’t being generous, she’s positioning herself. I mean, it’s not hard to see. I see why it could be for guys to catch on, but for women? Um… no. Not hard at all. We can see it.

And I’ll be honest, I don’t cook, as everyone on here knows, lol. I’ve never been good at it so I just don’t do it at all. Thankfully, I married a man who not only enjoys cooking, he’s excellent at it. But just because I don’t cook doesn’t mean someone else gets to do it for him. I mean, I keep Mr. CG “well fed” without knowing how to cook (trust me, he’s not starving), therefore he doesn’t need unsolicited servings from another kitchen.

At the end of the day, it’s never about the plate of food, it’s about the seat at the table. And that seat is taken.

And WIFLSRN to women who attempt to cross that boundary? Bon appétit somewhere else.

LMAO! I hollered!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

LMAO! I hollered!

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Lol so it’s definitely a thing then. Chicks are slick.


LMAO! She caught her ass. I get it though, I wouldn’t have caught it. Knowing me, I’d have accepted the plate of food offer not knowing. I didn’t know that was a thing until ol girl said it and what y’all are saying here.

After your wife told you what she saw, you shot that chick down fast Lol. You didn’t leave ambiguity or room for her to try again. And you were kind enough not to embarrass her, but clear enough that she wouldn’t misunderstand. I like that in you, PB.

Thanks, man. For me, it wasn’t about protecting myself, I’ve never been drawn to anyone else. Just my wife. The way I see it — as a husband, it’s my responsibility to protect my wife’s place, to cover her so she never feels disrespected or competed with.

When she showed me what was going on, I didn’t take it personally, I took it seriously. That woman wasn’t just offering food, she was testing a boundary. I shut it down because I’m not leaving cracks for disrespect to walk through.

I didn’t embarrass her, but I made sure there was no doubt, no invitations, no open doors, and no chance for confusion. For me, it’s all about being accountable to God for how I honor my wife and guard what He gave me.

That’s how I protect peace in my home. That’s how I protect her heart.

That said, I may not have caught the early signs from that woman, without my wife bringing it to my attention, but I know I’d have had sense enough to know not to accept a plate of food from her. Regardless. Hayle to the naw! I’m not stupid. 😂

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by AGDee

He still talks about the home made spaghetti sauce I made him for his birthday in his dorm room 40 years ago so... yeah.

I made him an omelette yesterday morning with ham, bacon and a 16 year aged wisconsin cheddar and he was all over that. He went on and on about it all day.

Damn! You must really can cook if he went back to some 40 year old spaghetti sauce LOL.

When a woman can cook, that does something to me. It makes me like her more, so I guess that saying is true. I think that’s true with most or all dudes to a degree.

@ CG, I guess you’re an exception to the rule since you can’t cook worth a damn Lol. But you know what I said about that. Your situation also has a rule.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Thanks, man. For me, it wasn’t about protecting myself, I’ve never been drawn to anyone else. Just my wife. The way I see it — as a husband, it’s my responsibility to protect my wife’s place, to cover her so she never feels disrespected or competed with.

When she showed me what was going on, I didn’t take it personally, I took it seriously. That woman wasn’t just offering food, she was testing a boundary. I shut it down because I’m not leaving cracks for disrespect to walk through.

I didn’t embarrass her, but I made sure there was no doubt, no invitations, no open doors, and no chance for confusion. For me, it’s all about being accountable to God for how I honor my wife and guard what He gave me.

That’s how I protect peace in my home. That’s how I protect her heart.

That said, I may not have caught the early signs from that woman, without my wife bringing it to my attention, but I know I’d have had sense enough to know not to accept a plate of food from her. Regardless. Hayle to the naw! I’m not stupid. 😂

Call me stupid then because I’d have told her to bring me a plate, not knowing LOL. For real.

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

When a woman can cook, that does something to me. It makes me like her more, so I guess that saying is true.

Call me stupid then because I’d have told her to bring me a plate, not knowing LOL. For real.

Sounds like you better make an advance reservation at a local senior living center and get ready for a lot of plates, lol!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Damn! You must really can cook if he went back to some 40 year old spaghetti sauce LOL.

When a woman can cook, that does something to me. It makes me like her more, so I guess that saying is true. I think that’s true with most or all dudes to a degree.

@ CG, I guess you’re an exception to the rule since you can’t cook worth a damn Lol. But you know what I said about that. Your situation also has a rule.
.

[cheerfulgreek]

WIFLSRN: We hired a new vet tech. Today is her first day. I swear, she’s probably like “What the heck kind of vet hospital is this?” lol

I had to let her know she’s new so she’s today’s target for our own entertainment. We have fun here.

[PrettyBoy]

I hope they throw this clown under the jail.

https://www.bbc.com/news/live/crm39gjvv97t

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Total BS. She's intelligent, she's beautiful, she's strong, she's got a positive attitude but what sealed the deal with her and her hubby is their faith and their values. Any marriage based just on looks is doomed to fail. And she has so much more going for her than looks.

I agree, no argument there, she’s the whole package. I’m just pointing out the fact that the application got noticed because of the cover letter Lol. Men are visual, it’s wired in. We can’t help it. Y’all aren’t wired like we are. That’s why dudes and women don’t look at attraction the same way. Y’all can be with an ugly dude who treats you right. We can’t do that with chicks.

I met CG in real life and her looks aren’t even up for debate. I’m just pointing out the fact that she wouldn’t be wifey if she wasn’t packin the visuals. That’s just male to female biology. But what made it forever, that’s the character, the faith, the values and the other internal things you’re talking about. Her looks made dude say with the quickness.. “You don’t have to know how to cook” LMAO.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

When I said you can’t cook but still got wifed? Yeah… no questions here. Some trades speak for themselves. In other words…. you know your looks sealed the deal. Dudes are visual, it’s just facts Lol.

lol
I see what you’re doing here, Phrozen. But let’s be honest, looks might catch a guy’s eye, but I don’t believe it’s what keeps him. I mean, attraction wears off fast if there’s nothing attractive inside. I’m just grateful God gave me more than a “cute” face (and a man smart enough to notice). I mean, beauty is a bonus, yes, but I just think that it’s the internal beauty that’s the covenant. I just don’t think anyone can build forever on surface. Know what I mean?

Originally Posted by AGDee

Total BS. She's intelligent, she's beautiful, she's strong, she's got a positive attitude but what sealed the deal with her and her hubby is their faith and their values. Any marriage based just on looks is doomed to fail. And she has so much more going for her than looks.

Thank you, Dee, your words truly mean a lot to me. I couldn’t agree more about marriage. It’s about so much more than love or attraction. I just think it’s about faithfulness, friendship, forgiveness, and choosing to love every single day. And I really appreciate your wisdom.

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

I agree, no argument there, she’s the whole package. I’m just pointing out the fact that the application got noticed because of the cover letter Lol. Men are visual, it’s wired in. We can’t help it. Y’all aren’t wired like we are. That’s why dudes and women don’t look at attraction the same way. Y’all can be with an ugly dude who treats you right. We can’t do that with chicks.

I met CG in real life and her looks aren’t even up for debate. I’m just pointing out the fact that she wouldn’t be wifey if she wasn’t packin the visuals. That’s just male to female biology. But what made it forever, that’s the character, the faith, the values and the other internal things you’re talking about. Her looks made dude say with the quickness.. “You don’t have to know how to cook” LMAO.

lol
Hilarious! Thanks, Phrozen. That’s really sweet of you. And yes, I know, guys are definitely visual. But it’s not just guys. Like most women, I notice looks in men too, I’m not gonna lie. But I’ve always been like, okay sure he’s cute, but can he show up? Does he have character? I needed someone who could love me through the hard stuff, not just the cute days. Looks are fun, but commitment and integrity are what keep me, and also what should keep a guy.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

You’re both right, honestly. The truth is, men are wired to be visual — science backs that up, and you see it in Scripture too. Just look at how often beauty is described in the Bible as catching a man’s attention (Genesis 29:17, 2 Samuel 11:2). Physical attraction is often the doorway, but it’s not the foundation. Proverbs 31 reminds us that “charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”. Beauty may open a man’s eyes, but character is what keeps his heart, unless his motives are selfish and he’s only pursuing what gratifies the flesh, not what honors God.

IMO, what Phroze is describing isn’t shallow, it’s biological and relational. A man’s first pull might be looks, and while visual cues can be a starting point, attraction is multifaceted and also involves personality, shared interests, emotional connection, along with faith, values, character and so much more. That’s the deeper spiritual principle here — beauty fades (Proverbs 31:30), but a godly character endures. The problem isn’t being drawn to beauty, it’s building on beauty instead of building on faith.

In the end, both are necessary in their own place. Attraction gets attention but character keeps commitment.

Fixed your post for ya.

Still pushes like button.